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What jokes do you play on Americans?

What jokes do you play on Americans?

Old Feb 11th 2005, 5:44 pm
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Default What jokes do you play on Americans?

My favourites include:

When asked for my zip code at a store, I always give my old British post code (some shop assistants even try to enter it into their computer system, which is fun....)

Chatting away and sounding really interested to a sales call, then when they want to visit you to demonstrate something, you tell them that you are going home tomorrow, but you are really interested in their fabulous carpet cleaning machine and could they visit you at....(British address).

When asked for my telephone number by some salesperson, I will give my old British telephone number....cuts down on junk calls to us, but I'm wondering how many calls the people that bought our house get from American salespeople...

My husband is fond of answering our telephone with "British Embassy, may I help you?" (Good one for stopping sales calls in their tracks).

In reply to receiving 'wrong number' calls, it's fun to make out that the person actually dialled an international number by mistake...."No, this isn't John, you've got Bill in London here..."

The best one is that we have those little hand-held communication radio's that we take on hikes and to the mall, and the kids take with them when they play down the local park, so we can talk to each other. The channels aren't private and my eldest daughter thinks it's great fun to gatecrash someone else's conversation with a incredulous "Oh my goodness, I can't believe it, am I getting through to America?" It's amazing how many people fall for it and really believe they are talking to someone in England on their little 3-mile radius hand-held LOL!

Inviting my American friends round for afternoon tea and getting out the 'Old Country Roses' tea set and making scones and cucumber sandwiches....can't do that with my good friends though, they know me too well LOL!

I know, I'm wicked.

Paint.
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 6:17 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

I married one once.
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 6:26 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

making American people who come to my house a cuppa... I make it all properly in the pot and serve with milk in a jug, they ask if it's British tea and of course I say yes, (they gush and say how wonderful it is, much better than their American tea) except it really is the yucky old Lipton, and I'm sitting drinking a seperate made cup of good ol' PG

Not very nice I know, but I have my friends and family send me PG on a regular basis and I don't want to share with people who don't know the difference between PG and Lipton
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 6:30 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

Originally Posted by Paint
I know, I'm wicked.

Paint.
Or immature.
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 6:34 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

Originally Posted by AmerLisa
Or immature.
bollocks, it's great fun.............

walking around the supermarket, my first day here.

conversation with the wife

Me - "What's that then?"
Her - "It's toilet paper"
Me - "Toilet paper? What?"
Her - "Toilet paper, you know for wiping"
Me - "You can buy special paper? Don't you just use a page from the newspaper?"
Her - "what????"
Me - "Wow, I guess America really is fantastic"
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 6:48 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

Originally Posted by Paint

My husband is fond of answering our telephone with "British Embassy, may I help you?" (Good one for stopping sales calls in their tracks).
Been there. Done that.
Still sometimes do.
And it works - the telemarketers believe you.
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 6:49 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

Originally Posted by Manc
bollocks, it's great fun.............
.

Telemarketers are a pain in the a$$, I totally agree. But, aren't they just doing a job in the end? Pretending to be interested and then telling them you're going home to Britain tomorrow isn't funny, its giving them false hope in an already hopeless job. Pretty immature.
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 6:50 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

Along Manc's lines, last one I did:

Q: Do they have car washes in your country?
A: Nah. Take 'em down to the river bank with a bucket. Still, you can't go early in the morning 'cause everyone's busy bathing for work.

She thought about it for a minute or two, then exclaimed, "Oh...English humour!"
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 6:51 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

Originally Posted by fatbrit

She thought about it for a minute or two, then exclaimed, "Oh...English humour!"
Well at least she recognised it.
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 6:56 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

Originally Posted by BrandonBrit
making American people who come to my house a cuppa... I make it all properly in the pot and serve with milk in a jug, they ask if it's British tea and of course I say yes, (they gush and say how wonderful it is, much better than their American tea) except it really is the yucky old Lipton, and I'm sitting drinking a seperate made cup of good ol' PG

Not very nice I know, but I have my friends and family send me PG on a regular basis and I don't want to share with people who don't know the difference between PG and Lipton
Ummmm.....errrrr....I think I may be ostracised for admitting this, but I actually prefer the Liptons (*hides under desk*). I never liked PG, it's too strong, and the awful thing is, relatives keep sending it to me and friends who are in the military keep buying it for me for gifts....I have a whole cupboard full now In my defence though, I do usually drink Lady Grey when I'm taking afternoon tea and using my best china, and only use the Liptons when I'm making the tea in mugs LOL!

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Old Feb 11th 2005, 7:08 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

Originally Posted by AmerLisa
.

Telemarketers are a pain in the a$$, I totally agree. But, aren't they just doing a job in the end? Pretending to be interested and then telling them you're going home to Britain tomorrow isn't funny, its giving them false hope in an already hopeless job. Pretty immature.
....Yes, and I'm usually very polite to them to start off with, and explain nicely that they must have called us in error, because we are on the Colorado 'Do Not Call' list, and that we are in the middle of dinner right now and that we never have or will buy anything as a result of a sales call, and that we are really not interested....but then when they carry on wasting your time trying to convince you to change your mind (or even worse, you realise that they haven't even paused in their fixed pre-written spiel to listen to your reply), then that's when the wickedness comes out.... I am never wicked to those nice salespeople who listen to me, thank me for my time and then hang up.

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Old Feb 11th 2005, 8:01 pm
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Post Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

Originally Posted by Paint
....Yes, and I'm usually very polite to them to start off with, and explain nicely that they must have called us in error, because we are on the Colorado 'Do Not Call' list, and that we are in the middle of dinner right now and that we never have or will buy anything as a result of a sales call, and that we are really not interested....but then when they carry on wasting your time trying to convince you to change your mind (or even worse, you realise that they haven't even paused in their fixed pre-written spiel to listen to your reply), then that's when the wickedness comes out.... I am never wicked to those nice salespeople who listen to me, thank me for my time and then hang up.

Paint.
- i havent tried this in US yet, but in england when nteruppted by a phone salesman (always seems to be tea time!!) i would tell them i rather busy right now - but could i take their home number so i can call them back later, to which they normally reply they are not alowed to give out personal phone numbers - and i say 'why is that then?, because you find it intrussive people bothering you in your own home' - which normally stops the conversation

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Old Feb 11th 2005, 8:07 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

Originally Posted by Lion in Winter
I married one once.
I love self-depricating humor, but isn't that taking it too far?
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 8:20 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

I told a coworker that I wanted to go on vacation to Hawaii cos I wanted to climb Mount Awhannahokaloogie...

Childish , eh? They haven't spoken to me since...
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Old Feb 11th 2005, 8:20 pm
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Default Re: What jokes do you play on Americans?

When asked about my accent I tell them it is 'pure' South Carolinian--pause---well it was 250 yrs ago.
I also remind them they should never call the French (a bit tongue in cheek) as they would never have beaten us without their help.
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