Re: What to do???
 

Sorry for your predicament.

I think someone might have already mentioned...... Learn to Drive..... :)


Try www.meetup.com to meet other young moms in your very local area. Even if that only gives you local "internet" friends. You may find that you connect and when the weather's better, you can walk to starbucks to meet up - or they may offer to pick you up before then.

I will say, having spent time with my friend in Sweden, that she takes her young children outside everyday, even in mid-winter. Double socks, gloves, etc and I think getting out of the basement even if it takes you longer to "suit up" than you spend outside would freshen your perspective a little. I've walked a mile from her house in a blizzard to get milk, and provided you wrap up well you should both be physically safe from frostbite.

Finally, and I'm sorry if you don't like this part of my response, the parents may have had different expectations from you too. Maybe if you said you wanted to pull your weight and cook half the meals, you could go to the store with them and buy the ingredients for meals you like. maybe explain that The baby is rambunctious because he's not out of the house. Ask for them to drop you off at the library for an hour so they can have space alone too.
I do think it's time for a family meeting, you may find that they have grievances about you that can be easily remedied. You said that your husband has a sister, ask her if you can spend a night at her house to give everyone a break.

Good luck for the future.

Re: What to do???
 

I'm sorry you're having such a horrible time. No words of wisdom here but I hope you can get the driving sorted asap as that really does seem to be your best bet to maintain your sanity.


This should be compulsory reading for all those people who start the Desperate to Move to USA threads. Not that that helps you though.

Re: What to do???
 

What do you mean "not sure how long it would last though".

You and husband have been back in the US since Sept 2012 - has he had any job since then, or is this the first job he has had?

Re: What to do???
 

Sorry to hear this.

I can not help, but am one of the many ears here to share a rant.

Re: What to do???
 

'my husband has had on and off jobs but nothing stable yet'

The above is in Emma's first post. :)

Re: What to do???
 

Sorry, missed this bit of information.

Not having a continuous job with regular income would definitely increase problems and tensions in the household.

Re: What to do???
 

No idea if it's a federal or a state thing, but down my way, as part of the department of education, there's a program that's funded from a grant called "ACCEPT", basically it provides for towns/counties to have kids drop in play groups as well as some age appropriate sessions as well as some things for parents.

In my old town, they also used the funding to provide a taxi service to those who are unable to drive. It seems less so in my current town, which caters to about 5 or so neighbouring towns, but in theory it's still offered.

Perhaps you might find something like that down your way? http://www.natickearlychildhood.org/ that's our old one.

Good luck!

Re: What to do???
 

Just wanted to say I am sorry you are going through such a rough patch. It is difficult when you can't get out. I moved to the US when my daughter was 2 and like you I could not drive. I used to walk to the thrift store pushing the stroller and felt like I was going to burn up! I wasn't used to the heat coming from Scotland. I felt very isolated, but my husband was in the US Navy and had a stable job. I will tell you something that might give you a laugh. I learned to drive and we had got a Ford Taurus. I was all excited and I told my husband I'll go and start the car as we were going out in it for our first car ride together.Our driveway was on a hill. I got in the car(luckily my daughter was not in the car) and had a brain fart and I had put the car in reverse and tried to start the car and it wouldn't start. So I ran up to the apt and to tell him the car is not working and when I looked back the car was rolling down the hill!! It rolled onto the rd and struck the median. Luckily no one was hurt but I was crying and I just wanted to go back to Scotland. Every time we had an argument I would say " I want to go back to Scotland" I was young. I was only 25 and in a foreign land. 25 years later I wish I was back in Scotland LOL. Anyway, try to learn to drive and hope your husband can keep a job. Do you have health insurance?Living in the US (for me anyway) isn't all it's cracked up to be. I miss being able to walk places too. My husband and I share a car and it makes things tricky. Best of luck to you.

Re: What to do???
 

You don't know that for sure yet. You haven't yet applied for means-tested benefits. If you do, then the government will come to the sponsor first for repayment, and then to the joint sponsor. At THAT point, you will know if the I-864 is worth the paper it's written on or not.

The I-864 is not there for the sponsor or joint sponsor to give you decent living conditions or to treat you humanely, it's a financial-coverage-only document. And the only way to get it enforced financially is to either use means-tested benefits or find a way to sue the sponsor/joint sponsor, as JEff said.

Rene

Re: What to do???
 

What would they be suing for?

Re: What to do???
 

However difficult, I think all parties need to do some straight talking.

Re: What to do???
 

Sounds horrible. Definitely don't leave your son in the care of your father-in-law. Your #1 priority is the safety and welfare of your son. If he's in danger of being physically abused and he's not eating properly, then you need to get out of there.

Re: What to do???
 

Suing for the minimum poverty level income as indicated on the I-864P Form. The sponsor/joint sponsor is supposed to keep the immigrant at that level of income until the immigrant meets certain criteria to end the I-864 contract. But the only way to enforce that is to sue the sponsor/joint sponsor.

Rene

Re: What to do???
 

Ah I didn't realize that. Thanks.

Re: What to do???
 

Support in an amount to keep them at 125% of the poverty level.

Read Part 8 of the I-864.

Regards, JEff