what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
Aug 3rd 2002, 2:06 pm
#1
Pagan Sex God
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2002
Location: Living in Oblivion
Posts: 3,668
what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
Someone answer this question - what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons!
I am a sane 35 educated engineer with enough experience in things not to let this get to me but in the past 2 months I have changed into this anally retentive, paranoid psychotic. I'd didn't worry this much about my finals in Uni (then again I knew the subjects).
At no other time in my life have made so many lists, I have never set aside a table in the back room, banned the cat from the room and started making piles of forms, certificates and other documentation. I have also started move lists and piles including quotes from removals companies. I check the paper every week to see what house prices are doing in the area and how fast houses are going. I go on airline websites everyday to see how much flights are. This is not the behaviour of a sane man and certainly not my normal behaviour. I have also become obsessive about checking this forum in case someone brings up something I haven't thought about (Thanks to Keith I now have the words tax returns on my TTD list which would save me time if we got our interview put back because I didn't know I had to do it). Then Lisa is worried about settling in the USA, now I am thinking will I like living in America - of course I will, I have lived in the USA, lived in Namibia, central America, Germany, Holland and a few other countries and have had no problems so why would I this time!
The most worrying thing about this behaviour is I have no need to worry, I have been married for 7 years, we both have good jobs and education, I have no need to worry so why have I become this irrational moron.
If I were a horse they'd shoot me
I am a sane 35 educated engineer with enough experience in things not to let this get to me but in the past 2 months I have changed into this anally retentive, paranoid psychotic. I'd didn't worry this much about my finals in Uni (then again I knew the subjects).
At no other time in my life have made so many lists, I have never set aside a table in the back room, banned the cat from the room and started making piles of forms, certificates and other documentation. I have also started move lists and piles including quotes from removals companies. I check the paper every week to see what house prices are doing in the area and how fast houses are going. I go on airline websites everyday to see how much flights are. This is not the behaviour of a sane man and certainly not my normal behaviour. I have also become obsessive about checking this forum in case someone brings up something I haven't thought about (Thanks to Keith I now have the words tax returns on my TTD list which would save me time if we got our interview put back because I didn't know I had to do it). Then Lisa is worried about settling in the USA, now I am thinking will I like living in America - of course I will, I have lived in the USA, lived in Namibia, central America, Germany, Holland and a few other countries and have had no problems so why would I this time!
The most worrying thing about this behaviour is I have no need to worry, I have been married for 7 years, we both have good jobs and education, I have no need to worry so why have I become this irrational moron.
If I were a horse they'd shoot me
Aug 3rd 2002, 2:32 pm
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,421
Re: what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
I agree with everything you've said, and I'm sure so will 90% of the posters/readers on this board.
I'm 52 and have lived through all that life has to offer including the highs and the lows, in various parts of the world.
In my business (entertainment) I have met all sorts of people
(including the Queen a month ago) and have organised all sorts of events, conferences etc.etc (i'm sure nobody wants the full
"sales pitch")
However I can honestly say that the INS process I went through for nearly 4 months was probably the most stressful thing I have ever done (perhaps it's the age !)
And, if you think about it logically, for most of us it really shouldn't
present a problem, it's all there in black and white, there's this newsgroup (and others) and it shouldn't be that complicated.........and yet !
On top of all that, there is the Mother of all Nags (and others)
keeping an eye on us constantly pushing people to the past experiences pages, and there it is again, everything we need to know.
I had 2 "small" RFE's at my interview, if I had made the same stupid mistakes at a convention I was organising, I probably would have been "dismissed with out pay" or "red carded"
Patrick you did bring up a point in your thread.
I assume you know that you need a police certificate for every country you have lived in for 12 months or more, since the age of 16. ..Just in case !!
Roger
I'm 52 and have lived through all that life has to offer including the highs and the lows, in various parts of the world.
In my business (entertainment) I have met all sorts of people
(including the Queen a month ago) and have organised all sorts of events, conferences etc.etc (i'm sure nobody wants the full
"sales pitch")
However I can honestly say that the INS process I went through for nearly 4 months was probably the most stressful thing I have ever done (perhaps it's the age !)
And, if you think about it logically, for most of us it really shouldn't
present a problem, it's all there in black and white, there's this newsgroup (and others) and it shouldn't be that complicated.........and yet !
On top of all that, there is the Mother of all Nags (and others)
keeping an eye on us constantly pushing people to the past experiences pages, and there it is again, everything we need to know.
I had 2 "small" RFE's at my interview, if I had made the same stupid mistakes at a convention I was organising, I probably would have been "dismissed with out pay" or "red carded"
Patrick you did bring up a point in your thread.
I assume you know that you need a police certificate for every country you have lived in for 12 months or more, since the age of 16. ..Just in case !!
Roger
Aug 3rd 2002, 3:35 pm
#3
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Oklahoma USA ex UK
Posts: 201
Re: what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
I agree, I think most people can relate to what has been said, I have served in many countries around the world, been on UN peacekeeping in war zones with the military, and been a Police Officer, not a lot scares or bothers me, but found myself quite intimidated by the whole procedure. I too made lists, and spent three hours on a train to London before my interview checking and double checking paperwork. I broke a toe a week before the medical, and convinced myself this would be a problem, I spent a small fortune on UPS bills getting documents backwards and forwards, and irritated the living daylights out of my then fiance calling and bugging her about paperwork, W2s, affidavits of support and a host of other things. All I can say, having gone through the K1 process, is that it really isn't that bad, and that all the worrying was both needless and counter productive
Aug 4th 2002, 1:20 am
#4
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
Hi, I agree 100% this (AOS) is the single most stressful thing ive ever been through.
I too have piles of paperwork,photos various legal documents stacked up in order on
my pc desk. Each day hoping that the kids or the cat wont suddenly think of them as
either colouring paper (kids) or something that can be imagined to be a mouse. I cant
wait until it is over,weve just been down to our INS for EAD and that in itself was
stressful,after getting them to correct my name (which they spelt wrong) and they
certainly made me feel that it was my fault they had to do the extra work. Im sure
most other people on this newsgroup feel the same,but it has changed me from a
rational thinking woman into a paranoid,stressing headcase which im sure my poor
husband rates as being worse than a severe case of PMS
I too have piles of paperwork,photos various legal documents stacked up in order on
my pc desk. Each day hoping that the kids or the cat wont suddenly think of them as
either colouring paper (kids) or something that can be imagined to be a mouse. I cant
wait until it is over,weve just been down to our INS for EAD and that in itself was
stressful,after getting them to correct my name (which they spelt wrong) and they
certainly made me feel that it was my fault they had to do the extra work. Im sure
most other people on this newsgroup feel the same,but it has changed me from a
rational thinking woman into a paranoid,stressing headcase which im sure my poor
husband rates as being worse than a severe case of PMS
Aug 4th 2002, 11:26 am
#5
Pagan Sex God
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2002
Location: Living in Oblivion
Posts: 3,668
Re: what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
Hi Roger,
"Patrick you did bring up a point in your thread.
I assume you know that you need a police certificate for every country you have lived in for 12 months or more, since the age of 16. ..Just in case !! "
I have that covered - I was going to do a round robin of embassies next month when we a have week off, we are going down to London to see James Taylor so we are going to make a day of going door to door.
The Keith Tax thing completley through me as I was sure I had all bases covered, I have now gone back and reread everything, triple checked everything to make sure I haven't over looked anything else.
First thing this morning I was the net checking flights again, I have no idea why? I have put £1500 in an account for flights (which should be enough) and its not like airlines are going to suddenly stop flying to America, so why do I check every day?
Maybe the INS has shares in Prozac?
"Patrick you did bring up a point in your thread.
I assume you know that you need a police certificate for every country you have lived in for 12 months or more, since the age of 16. ..Just in case !! "
I have that covered - I was going to do a round robin of embassies next month when we a have week off, we are going down to London to see James Taylor so we are going to make a day of going door to door.
The Keith Tax thing completley through me as I was sure I had all bases covered, I have now gone back and reread everything, triple checked everything to make sure I haven't over looked anything else.
First thing this morning I was the net checking flights again, I have no idea why? I have put £1500 in an account for flights (which should be enough) and its not like airlines are going to suddenly stop flying to America, so why do I check every day?
Maybe the INS has shares in Prozac?
Aug 4th 2002, 11:50 am
#6
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 35,082
Re: what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
Originally posted by Georgesgirl35
...it has changed me from a rational thinking woman into a paranoid,stressing headcase which im sure my poor husband rates as being worse than a severe case of PMS
...it has changed me from a rational thinking woman into a paranoid,stressing headcase which im sure my poor husband rates as being worse than a severe case of PMS
Patrick, I wish I knew the answer to your question, because *this sucks*! I'm a bright girl, used to following the rules & usually quite good with the ole paperwork, but holy bureaurocracy, Batman! I find myself online researching how to answer *every* question...I mean, I can't even fill in my own name without looking here there and everywhere first! (no middle name)
That's OK. Tuesday we're on the boat to Athens and I'll unload the whole mess on them and *they* can worry about it...at least until the medical next month!
mo
PS: on the tax returns, look into turbotax.com for easy online filing of multiple years' returns. I think it's worth the $$$.
Aug 4th 2002, 12:11 pm
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,421
Re: what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
One of the problems I found, particularly with newsgroups, is that you tend to read lots of threads/postings which are completely irrelevant to ones own circumstances.
Thereby absorbing far more knowledge than is necessary. I know
it happened to me, it became a case of "to much knowledge"
Try to stay focused only on threads that are relevant to your own case.
I'm a fine one to talk, I did the exact opposite of what I'm suggesting.
Patrick, I can't remember where it is, but there is a list of countries that require police reports and those which don't
eg I lived in Iran for 2 years and the INS recognize that it impossible to get reports from there and don't expect them.
I seem to remember there are links on there which tell you how to contact the relevant foreign department.
There certainly was for Aussie, although Spain I just wrote to the British Consulate.
Don't mean to nag !!! but all foreign reports have to be translated
AND notarized, I got my Spanish one done at the local Universities
language dpeartment.
Roger
Thereby absorbing far more knowledge than is necessary. I know
it happened to me, it became a case of "to much knowledge"
Try to stay focused only on threads that are relevant to your own case.
I'm a fine one to talk, I did the exact opposite of what I'm suggesting.
Patrick, I can't remember where it is, but there is a list of countries that require police reports and those which don't
eg I lived in Iran for 2 years and the INS recognize that it impossible to get reports from there and don't expect them.
I seem to remember there are links on there which tell you how to contact the relevant foreign department.
There certainly was for Aussie, although Spain I just wrote to the British Consulate.
Don't mean to nag !!! but all foreign reports have to be translated
AND notarized, I got my Spanish one done at the local Universities
language dpeartment.
Roger
Aug 4th 2002, 3:01 pm
#8
Pagan Sex God
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2002
Location: Living in Oblivion
Posts: 3,668
Re: what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
Originally posted by rogerpenycate
One of the problems I found, particularly with newsgroups, is that you tend to read lots of threads/postings which are completely irrelevant to ones own circumstances.
Thereby absorbing far more knowledge than is necessary. I know
it happened to me, it became a case of "to much knowledge"
Try to stay focused only on threads that are relevant to your own case.
I'm a fine one to talk, I did the exact opposite of what I'm suggesting.
Patrick, I can't remember where it is, but there is a list of countries that require police reports and those which don't
eg I lived in Iran for 2 years and the INS recognize that it impossible to get reports from there and don't expect them.
I seem to remember there are links on there which tell you how to contact the relevant foreign department.
There certainly was for Aussie, although Spain I just wrote to the British Consulate.
Don't mean to nag !!! but all foreign reports have to be translated
AND notarized, I got my Spanish one done at the local Universities
language dpeartment.
Roger
One of the problems I found, particularly with newsgroups, is that you tend to read lots of threads/postings which are completely irrelevant to ones own circumstances.
Thereby absorbing far more knowledge than is necessary. I know
it happened to me, it became a case of "to much knowledge"
Try to stay focused only on threads that are relevant to your own case.
I'm a fine one to talk, I did the exact opposite of what I'm suggesting.
Patrick, I can't remember where it is, but there is a list of countries that require police reports and those which don't
eg I lived in Iran for 2 years and the INS recognize that it impossible to get reports from there and don't expect them.
I seem to remember there are links on there which tell you how to contact the relevant foreign department.
There certainly was for Aussie, although Spain I just wrote to the British Consulate.
Don't mean to nag !!! but all foreign reports have to be translated
AND notarized, I got my Spanish one done at the local Universities
language dpeartment.
Roger
For anyone else the url you mentioned is this
http://www.usembassy.org.uk/cons_web...iv/pbcerts.htm
For every subject on my TTD there is a corresponding pile or list in the back room. I have checked and double checked who I have to get police certs from and how to do it, but thanks for the reminders. I was in the army and don't have to get a police certificate for my 3 year tour of Germany as a british army base counts as british soil, but I am still going pay the 12 euros and get one just for my peace of mind!
One of the reasons we have started this process now and are not filing until Christmas is so that we can get all this done now. If there are any surprises (which there really shouldn't be) we will be able to give it 100% attention. I have a time line for everything
Sep
- Foreign Police Certs
- Tax returns
- Finishing painting house
- carpets arrive
this allows 3 months for these things to be sorted out and back before i130 filed.
Dec
- File I130
Jan
- Police Cert
- House Evaluation
- order mortgage statement (cheers Keith)
- get cat vacinated (rabies) and check shots up to date
- Give rabbits away
Feb
spent whole month checking, double checking and triple checking documents.
Worry that every cough I have some disease that will show up as a neon bright light on my chest xray and stop me from passing my medical.
March
- hopefully get my interview date
- contemplate starting smoking again
- wonder if I should buy false nails as the ones I have are now chewed off.
Decide at the last minute that I should get a sponsor just in case and creep to my Mother in Law.
May
- If a heart attack has not been induced and all the gods have smiled I should have the visa and the house should be on the market
- Decide which removals company to use
- Send Roger an email congratulating him on Fulham being the surprise team of the season and winning the league and cup double, beating Man Utd 7 - 0 in the final.
- set up the catery shipping the cat after we go to the usa
- celebrate Blackpool winning the second division championship with a record 138 points.
June
- Threaten to beat Estate Agent and Solicitor to death with large carrot if they don't get completion date
- panic that there won't be any flights to the USA as they have all been booked up for the next six months
July
- Read reports in the papers about an Estate Agent and Solicitor found in the middle of the fens with the remains of a carrot
- hire new Estate Agent and Solicitor
- get completion date and book flights
- send Resume to recruiters
- panic that there won't be any houses to rent in America in a freak and unexpected house renting shortage
I wonder if everyone elses timeline looks similar to mine
Aug 4th 2002, 6:21 pm
#9
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,421
Re: what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
Patrick,
And I thought I was organised.
In all my years of posting on here (well about 3 months) I can't
imagine anyone else going to such lengths (perhaps I'm wrong)
Fortunately I smoke and there are lots of "back of fag packets"
Current time lines suggest that if you file in December you should have your visa well before May (although you'll probably get
numerous RFE's because you are so under-prepared !!!!)
You forgot giving up maijuana a month before the interview to make sure it is out of your blood stream.
Watch out in the near future for a similar story in the Coventry
Evening Telgraph regarding a "euthinazed" estate agent and solicitor.
All in all a very funny posting, considering you are a jibbering idiot
and still have nearly a year to go.
However the Blackpool bit was the funniest.
Keep in touch and if Fulham and Blackpool win their leagues I'll
take you on a major piss up.
Regards
Roger (Rogpog to the wife)
And I thought I was organised.
In all my years of posting on here (well about 3 months) I can't
imagine anyone else going to such lengths (perhaps I'm wrong)
Fortunately I smoke and there are lots of "back of fag packets"
Current time lines suggest that if you file in December you should have your visa well before May (although you'll probably get
numerous RFE's because you are so under-prepared !!!!)
You forgot giving up maijuana a month before the interview to make sure it is out of your blood stream.
Watch out in the near future for a similar story in the Coventry
Evening Telgraph regarding a "euthinazed" estate agent and solicitor.
All in all a very funny posting, considering you are a jibbering idiot
and still have nearly a year to go.
However the Blackpool bit was the funniest.
Keep in touch and if Fulham and Blackpool win their leagues I'll
take you on a major piss up.
Regards
Roger (Rogpog to the wife)
Aug 5th 2002, 3:20 am
#10
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: what it is about this process that makes turns normal people into irrational morons
Great synopsis. I think most all of us here can relate. Oh, and you're NOT a moron.
They really can make one feel like a cat chasing its own tail.
--
Jimmy "Patrick" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
I have a time line for everything
>
> Sep
> - Foreign Police Certs
> - Tax returns
> - Finishing painting house
> - carpets arrive
>
> this allows 3 months for these things to be sorted out and back before i130 filed.
>
> Dec
> - File I130
>
> Jan
> - Police Cert
> - House Evaluation
> - order mortgage statement (cheers Keith)
> - get cat vacinated (rabies) and check shots up to date
> - Give rabbits away
>
> Feb
>
> spent whole month checking, double checking and triple checking documents. Worry
> that every cough I have some disease that will show up as a neon bright light on my
> chest xray and stop me from passing my medical.
>
> March
> - hopefully get my interview date
> - contemplate starting smoking again
> - wonder if I should buy false nails as the ones I have are now chewed off. Decide
> at the last minute that I should get a sponsor just in case and creep to my
> Mother in Law.
>
> May
> - If a heart attack has not been induced and all the gods have smiled I should have
> the visa and the house should be on the market
> - Decide which removals company to use
> - Send Roger an email congratulating him on Fulham being the surprise team of the
> season and winning the league and cup double, beating Man Utd 7 - 0 in the final.
> - set up the catery shipping the cat after we go to the usa
> - celebrate Blackpool winning the second division championship with a record 138
> points.
>
> June
> - Threaten to beat Estate Agent and Solicitor to death with large carrot if they
> don't get completion date
> - panic that there won't be any flights to the USA as they have all been booked up
> for the next six months
>
> July
> - Read reports in the papers about an Estate Agent and Solicitor found in the
> middle of the fens with the remains of a carrot
> - hire new Estate Agent and Solicitor
> - get completion date and book flights
> - send Resume to recruiters
> - panic that there won't be any houses to rent in America in a freak and unexpected
> house renting shortage
>
> I wonder if everyone elses timeline looks similar to mine
>
>
>
> --
They really can make one feel like a cat chasing its own tail.
--
Jimmy "Patrick" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
I have a time line for everything
>
> Sep
> - Foreign Police Certs
> - Tax returns
> - Finishing painting house
> - carpets arrive
>
> this allows 3 months for these things to be sorted out and back before i130 filed.
>
> Dec
> - File I130
>
> Jan
> - Police Cert
> - House Evaluation
> - order mortgage statement (cheers Keith)
> - get cat vacinated (rabies) and check shots up to date
> - Give rabbits away
>
> Feb
>
> spent whole month checking, double checking and triple checking documents. Worry
> that every cough I have some disease that will show up as a neon bright light on my
> chest xray and stop me from passing my medical.
>
> March
> - hopefully get my interview date
> - contemplate starting smoking again
> - wonder if I should buy false nails as the ones I have are now chewed off. Decide
> at the last minute that I should get a sponsor just in case and creep to my
> Mother in Law.
>
> May
> - If a heart attack has not been induced and all the gods have smiled I should have
> the visa and the house should be on the market
> - Decide which removals company to use
> - Send Roger an email congratulating him on Fulham being the surprise team of the
> season and winning the league and cup double, beating Man Utd 7 - 0 in the final.
> - set up the catery shipping the cat after we go to the usa
> - celebrate Blackpool winning the second division championship with a record 138
> points.
>
> June
> - Threaten to beat Estate Agent and Solicitor to death with large carrot if they
> don't get completion date
> - panic that there won't be any flights to the USA as they have all been booked up
> for the next six months
>
> July
> - Read reports in the papers about an Estate Agent and Solicitor found in the
> middle of the fens with the remains of a carrot
> - hire new Estate Agent and Solicitor
> - get completion date and book flights
> - send Resume to recruiters
> - panic that there won't be any houses to rent in America in a freak and unexpected
> house renting shortage
>
> I wonder if everyone elses timeline looks similar to mine
>
>
>
> --
