Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Jan 11th 2006, 4:20 pm
#31
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by Dimsie
You always have such a level-headed outlook, and give such sound advice to others. Reach for that now, and think CALM !!!!
After I finish the obligatory work today I'm going home & straight for bed which WILL lower my blood pressure. I've had the cursed disease since I was 23 and pencil thin.... stress just apparently has a way of getting to me in this way. I punch myself rather than someone else.
Jan 11th 2006, 4:40 pm
#32
Joined: Mar 2003
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by snowbunny
Okay.... someone give me sound advice, and I'll reach for the Xanax.
After I finish the obligatory work today I'm going home & straight for bed which WILL lower my blood pressure. I've had the cursed disease since I was 23 and pencil thin.... stress just apparently has a way of getting to me in this way. I punch myself rather than someone else.
After I finish the obligatory work today I'm going home & straight for bed which WILL lower my blood pressure. I've had the cursed disease since I was 23 and pencil thin.... stress just apparently has a way of getting to me in this way. I punch myself rather than someone else.
Jan 11th 2006, 4:52 pm
#33
Captain Caaaaaaveeemaaaan
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by CaliforniaBride
Oooo! Kinky
Jan 11th 2006, 4:52 pm
#34
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by Ray
Its too later .. you never listened to me ... now you have to suffer...
Jan 11th 2006, 4:54 pm
#35
Captain Caaaaaaveeemaaaan
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by snowbunny
Okay.... someone give me sound advice, and I'll reach for the Xanax.
After I finish the obligatory work today I'm going home & straight for bed which WILL lower my blood pressure. I've had the cursed disease since I was 23 and pencil thin.... stress just apparently has a way of getting to me in this way. I punch myself rather than someone else.
After I finish the obligatory work today I'm going home & straight for bed which WILL lower my blood pressure. I've had the cursed disease since I was 23 and pencil thin.... stress just apparently has a way of getting to me in this way. I punch myself rather than someone else.
Go home... calm down... relax.... Xanax..... Glass or 2 of wine..... (Maybe not with the Xanax).
Jan 11th 2006, 4:56 pm
#36
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by TN-Dave
Sound advice.... from us lot ! LOLOOLOL.......
Go home... calm down... relax.... Xanax..... Glass or 2 of wine..... (Maybe not with the Xanax).
Go home... calm down... relax.... Xanax..... Glass or 2 of wine..... (Maybe not with the Xanax).
That will give you time to think up how I'm going to best get hubby BACK SOON.
(soon being relative!)
Jan 11th 2006, 8:41 pm
#37
Joined: Apr 2002
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by snowbunny
He wanted to go home, simple as. There were things he needed to take care of that he felt could not wait. I had to, and have to, be understanding of that. Yes, I know that AP is available, but it takes at least a few weeks.
It came down to a heartbreaking choice of him doing what he felt he should do vis a vis leaving his homeland, friends, colleagues, because we had planned all along for him to return in January. When I saw how much more appealing the 10-ft pole option was, I naturally wanted to pursue it, but it was apparent that while he was willing to do it, his heart wasn't in it.
Me? I'm petrified of flying, so much so I've had a jet land midway between Chicago and Austin and take me to hospital. My ability to fly well depends greatly on my stress level and flying right now is absolutely going to suck.
It came down to a heartbreaking choice of him doing what he felt he should do vis a vis leaving his homeland, friends, colleagues, because we had planned all along for him to return in January. When I saw how much more appealing the 10-ft pole option was, I naturally wanted to pursue it, but it was apparent that while he was willing to do it, his heart wasn't in it.
Me? I'm petrified of flying, so much so I've had a jet land midway between Chicago and Austin and take me to hospital. My ability to fly well depends greatly on my stress level and flying right now is absolutely going to suck.
Toon wanted to go back on schedule; he had 'things to do'.
There was nothing wrong with the 10- foot pole option while he was here, but from what I've read, he was not willing to wait 2-3 months for AP before going back. I'll assume he factored in that you did not want to ever do DCF because of your fear of flying, and that you will be the one who appears to be suffering over the separation of taking the K-3 & beyond path.
You two have had a satisfying relationship while living apart up to this point; I'd say, don't add to your own drama and stress by making this the dominant part of your life. Do what needs to be done with the paperwork, planning the move and carry on with your relationship.
Jan 11th 2006, 8:44 pm
#38
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by snowbunny
Okay. Chill.
That will give you time to think up how I'm going to best get hubby BACK SOON.
(soon being relative!)
That will give you time to think up how I'm going to best get hubby BACK SOON.
(soon being relative!)
So he is.
Major congrats on the nuptials.
Before you know it, he'll have his papers and will be back and harping about all that is wrong with the place...
Jan 11th 2006, 9:09 pm
#39
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by Angry White Pyjamas
Alternatively if it was "too easy", whatever that means, then maybe there'd be less illigal immigration costing the taxpayers billions.
Jan 11th 2006, 9:27 pm
#40
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Good luck SB, I hope it all works out for you. Relax!!! Remember, deep cleansing breaths!
Jan 12th 2006, 4:29 am
#41
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by meauxna
Do what needs to be done with the paperwork, planning the move and carry on with your relationship.
Jan 12th 2006, 4:34 am
#42
Joined: Mar 2003
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by snowbunny
No, twas my OTHER HALF who didn't listen.
Jan 12th 2006, 4:43 am
#43
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Originally Posted by Ray
Of course .. he had to get back to remove all the porn of his computer before you got there ...
I think he must be throwing one hell of a leaving do.
Jan 12th 2006, 8:51 am
#44
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
Lou Dobbs is a registered Republican.
Originally Posted by fatbrit
Not unusual, actually. There is consensus from left to right on the fact that immigration policy is a pile of hypocritical crap. You can watch Lou Dobbs ranting on it on CNN, then flick over to watch Hannity following almost the same rant on Fox. There are certainly some differences in the implementation of the cure between the shades of political thought, but the actual argument that it needs an efficient and comprehensive readjustment seems to be between the people and the government rather than the different political parties in the government.
However, USCIS is just the outstanding leader in the total mess of government bureaucracy over here. It's just as bad in other fields, too. In my previous job, I occasionally used to assist folks to get their social security claims. A year or more many would wait for their claims. This is stupid! There's no argument here about whether or not we should have social security. Rather, the argument is that government has set up a system to say you will be paid by the system if you meet certain conditions. If they meet those conditions, then pay them the freakin' money; if they don't, reject the application. But please don't piss about with it for years wasting most of the actual money in the system through bureaucratic inefficiency.
However, USCIS is just the outstanding leader in the total mess of government bureaucracy over here. It's just as bad in other fields, too. In my previous job, I occasionally used to assist folks to get their social security claims. A year or more many would wait for their claims. This is stupid! There's no argument here about whether or not we should have social security. Rather, the argument is that government has set up a system to say you will be paid by the system if you meet certain conditions. If they meet those conditions, then pay them the freakin' money; if they don't, reject the application. But please don't piss about with it for years wasting most of the actual money in the system through bureaucratic inefficiency.
Jan 12th 2006, 9:01 am
#45
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Re: Warning: Marriage+Immigration can be bad for your health!
2 things about the immigration system:
1) basic to the point of incompetence (skeleton crew, years behind, can't keep the terrorists out, ancient technology and mismatched communication)
2) heavy-handed - one foot over the line by accident and you're banned from the country
BTW all of that money W spent on improving Homeland Security.. not a sign of it
extremely glad I'm done with dealing with US immigration.. one reason I became a citizen.
1) basic to the point of incompetence (skeleton crew, years behind, can't keep the terrorists out, ancient technology and mismatched communication)
2) heavy-handed - one foot over the line by accident and you're banned from the country
BTW all of that money W spent on improving Homeland Security.. not a sign of it
extremely glad I'm done with dealing with US immigration.. one reason I became a citizen.
Originally Posted by snowbunny
I would like to vent.... I need to vent....
We were set to file the "10-foot barge pole" AOS after our marriage, when we decided, for various reasons, that Toon should return to Holland as planned.
Less than 48 hours later, I'm convinced that this was the absolutely wrong move for us. My health has changed for the worse over the last few weeks, and today I suddenly realised that my blood pressure must be out of sight because I had headaches and black spots in front of my eyes. Sure enough, the monitor at work read 180/102 (and that's ON medication).
With him out of the country, I now either must go to Holland to DCF, or wait the CR-1/K-3 time. I cannot go to Holland until I can get my blood pressure stabilised, however, and I really need him here to help me with the physical grind which is one reason why my blood pressure has soared.
Firstly, I am absolutely *****ed off with my so-called government that it takes a ridiculous amount of time, effort, and money to get one's spouse a visa.
Secondly, I am also *****ed off with those who are absolutists about which route to take to get a visa. These are some lovely and helpful people, but I'd beg them to rethink advocating the one-size-fits-all solutions. In particular, those who despise the 10-foot-bargepole solution: my situation really did change during the three-month VWP stay, and it would have been in my best interest for my health and my entire family to have AOS'd. And to those who think that DCF is the silver bullet if the foreign spouse's country allows it: yeah right. It means a trip to that country, which may be very expensive, may not be possible given the USC's work/family schedule and health. It also requires an interview date at the consulate, which isn't guaranteed to be right away.
I don't know that this belongs in the US Marriage-Based Visa forum for two reasons: I don't want it to go to USENET, AND because both my spouse and I are members here, and I'd like to let everyone who has been helping us and following our story know where we are in the visa process.
We were set to file the "10-foot barge pole" AOS after our marriage, when we decided, for various reasons, that Toon should return to Holland as planned.
Less than 48 hours later, I'm convinced that this was the absolutely wrong move for us. My health has changed for the worse over the last few weeks, and today I suddenly realised that my blood pressure must be out of sight because I had headaches and black spots in front of my eyes. Sure enough, the monitor at work read 180/102 (and that's ON medication).
With him out of the country, I now either must go to Holland to DCF, or wait the CR-1/K-3 time. I cannot go to Holland until I can get my blood pressure stabilised, however, and I really need him here to help me with the physical grind which is one reason why my blood pressure has soared.
Firstly, I am absolutely *****ed off with my so-called government that it takes a ridiculous amount of time, effort, and money to get one's spouse a visa.
Secondly, I am also *****ed off with those who are absolutists about which route to take to get a visa. These are some lovely and helpful people, but I'd beg them to rethink advocating the one-size-fits-all solutions. In particular, those who despise the 10-foot-bargepole solution: my situation really did change during the three-month VWP stay, and it would have been in my best interest for my health and my entire family to have AOS'd. And to those who think that DCF is the silver bullet if the foreign spouse's country allows it: yeah right. It means a trip to that country, which may be very expensive, may not be possible given the USC's work/family schedule and health. It also requires an interview date at the consulate, which isn't guaranteed to be right away.
I don't know that this belongs in the US Marriage-Based Visa forum for two reasons: I don't want it to go to USENET, AND because both my spouse and I are members here, and I'd like to let everyone who has been helping us and following our story know where we are in the visa process.