lairdside

LoL. Been here for 3 years and haven't wanted to move back once either. Visited and shall continue to do so, of course. Would like to visit more often.

I do miss my family but not enough to go back permanently. I'd like 'em to move here

doctor scrumpy

U never have been part of the norm since the day u were born have u Pimbot ?



What I miss the most are the morning mist on Sankey Brook. Waiting for a train at 7 45 on a freezing winter's morning, a 6 pack of scrumpy in my hand, as I go off to watch some real football. Knowing you can get a bag of chips in a few minutes at a chippie. Emmerdale Farm, ( is Charity still in jail ?)

But, I know what I like over here too, Americans are in general a very friendly people, ready to welcome you into their society. On the whole I don't regret moving at all. Although the run in to the end of the football season was an absolute sod, sweating it out on saturday mornings & midweek afternoons waiting to hear how Havant & Waterlooville had done.

Lesley1020

Charity got out of jail - Zoe testified saying that Chris killed himself in exchange for Charity signing over the baby to her and 4K I think it was - Debbie found out about and disowned her and set all the money on fire. That was about where it was at when I was left!

Well guys I am gonna have to make a huge effort this week to sort myself out and quit feeling sorry for myself. I don't even know how I made it to work this morning - I went over to M's at 10.30pm last night and we sat up until 4.30am talking about everything and he just feels he can't be in a relationship right now - there are so many issues now with the baby etc - and he rightly so is making her his first priority and after talking with the mum and her family - he is going to have the baby every weekend - so I guess we are going our separate ways - for now. It was an emotional night for sure and he doesn't make it easier by saying he still loves me etc but needs space right now and every time I left he came out after me, just making it worse!. I drove back from Millington crying my eyes out the whole way but I need to just get focused now and figure out where to go from here.

Probably not making much sense right now - just having a little vent. I just can't believe how things have turned so freaking upside down in a week.

NC Penguin

What you've described is the American dream of a sort. At least it looks perfect from the outside but who knows what's going on behind the front doors of those houses?

I was warned by a non-American friend who lived in California for five years that Americans do not socialize with their colleagues after work. In her country they do as do Brits (from time to time, at least).

As soon as works over, they drive home (journey time varies a lot round here) to their families and home. Socializing outside the home pretty much occurs at the weekends and in church.

It's a whole different ballgame in the US. Plus, going somewhere after work is a chore 'cos leisure type places like shops, restaurants, cinemas, etc. tend to cluster in malls, etc. which can mean joining the rush hour commute which is, let's face it, no fun in itself.

sibsie

The thing I miss with socialising here is "popping in". I was always a real popper inner and here you have to make plans way in advance. I find the Americans supeficially friendly but it doesn't seem to run too deep unless you've known them years and years.

lairdside

I don't really know your story but am a little confused. Why does he feel that he has to choose between you and the baby?

*hugs* - been through some fun times myself. Men are strange creatures, as friends fine but in romantic relationships they seem to undergo some sort of strange metamorphosis....

USBound

my company must be strange then... I've been here nearly 4 months. I have friends both in and out of work and in the last few weeks we have socialised outside of work lots. Out for drinks on and evening, over to theirs at the weekend, out to the cinema, they've been around for dinner at mine..... its all a little contradictory based upon your "they don't socialise" comment.

Big hugs lesley - our situations are not so dissimilar, you will get through it.

effi

I have been here for 16 years and americans do not socialize. They are wierd people when it comes to mixing with others, it all seems to be family, church etc. If they come to a party they tend to go home round about 9pm. I have met only a handful of people thru work etc that I have become really friendly with, you know the kind that you could go to for a cuppa anytime.

Don't give up Leslie, after all you did to get here, I know it probably sucks right now, but shit, it could not get any worse could it, it can only get better. Gotta get yourself out there girlfriend and put yourself about a bit. Like someone else said, volunteer somewhere.

As for the bf, well sorry, but he sounds like an a-hole. So he has become a dad, so what, why does that mean that he has to dump you? Sorry, but if he thought anything of you, he would be bending over backwards to make this work. The baby sounds like an excuse to me. Sorry, just my cynical side coming out, shoot me if I am wrong.

Lesley1020

Yep I am thinking it could be excuses too - but I'm just not sure. To sort of explain a little bit, he had a really rough childhood and had 4 stepmums and 2 stepdads - each with their own horror stories. He is one of the kindest, most genuine people I have ever known in my life generally - and there are major problems with the baby's mum and whether she can take care of her etc. I think at this stage - he feels that he is going to have the baby every weekend - he wants time to bond with her and he is thinking that it wouldn't be good for me to spend a lot of time with her (a) because her mother is going nuts already about that possibility and (b) because I will get attached and we have no guarantees it will work out - and I guess with his own history he probably reads way too much into things because of that. As he points out now - he is going to be financially screwed and has to sell his truck and not longer sure how much he can commit to the original plans we had. I think also it is such an early stage of the relationship (the in real life part) and we moved too fast when I first got here and spent every minute we could together and made a lot of perhaps unrealistic plans.

He's not a bad guy - that much I do know and I know he wouldn't ever hurt me intentionally - but his daughter is his first and main priority right now and I dont' think he's going to change the way he sees the situation right now. I am supposed to pick him up from the airport next Tuesday when he gets back (assuming I dont get a call to say someone else is doing that) so this time away hopefully will rationalise things in his head.

Meantime I am going to have several tonight when I get home and def. an early night - I am soooooooo tired.

BritGuyTN

moving to america from the uk is stressful - moving to to south from the UK is even more so

don't know how old you are but in nashville there is a great bar scene for 20s/30s (this might not be your thing), i'm sure memphis has similar

sorry to hear about the relationship probs - thats a nightmare - however, work out (if you can) how much of a determining factor the relationship was in the move over here

i moved over to be with my girlfriend and was fortunate enough to get an intracompany transfer - even so there have been some emotionally fraught times, missing friends, missing england.

i think it will take a while but keep your chin up, makes some more friends locally and i'm sure things will turn out just fine

lairdside

Well I hope that he gets his head together soon, before it's too late and he relalises what he has lost. Still sounds like a load of bullshit to me to be honest. Caring for a baby is hard work and most are grateful for all of the help from friends that they can get. You most certainly sound like that, a friend, to this guy.

So what if you get attached to the child and vice versa. People are allowed to love more than one person in this life. It's being loved and being able to give love that counts. Is the concern about child's mother related to mental instability by any chance? That child sounds suspiciously like a pawn to me

Ash UK/US

I made my first visit back to the UK after being in the US 9 months by the end of my 3 week stay I missed my husband soooo much and couldn't wait to get home (I think this was probably the time I realised this was home). I have been in the US almost 18 months now and have no want to move back to the UK... it will get better given time. Are you able to make a short trip back to the UK or maybe have a friend over to visit you?

I don't know the story behind your relationship but it sounds like he is using the baby as an excuse! which is pretty low in its self. I had a baby 5 months ago... she is in my life day in day out not only at weekends does that mean my marriage should go on hold? NO WAY... see what I am saying? Life goes on.

Ash

jambo_2004

Sad to say that football is probably the no1 thing I miss. Saturday is football day for me. Watching the Saturday morning footy shows then heading off to the boozer next to the ground, ordering one more pint at 2:45 and still getting to your seat at 2:58 pm, chippie then more beer (to drown the sorrows or celebrate the win!) after the game. Saturdays are not the same here, (I hate pretty much all American sports)...the fact I have to get up at 7am to listen to the live online broadcasts from the UK means I miss most of em.

Lion in Winter

Well, for any homesick people from the big smoke....

http://www.urban75.org/photos/london/panorama.html

lairdside

Oooh neat link. Thank you!
Lots of others places too, besides London.