I haven't read through the whole thread but if the father of your son is not your fiance, you will probably need permission from the son's biological father if you want him (your son) to reside in the US.

Doing this should involve an appointment with a family lawyer, preferably one with experience with custody when one parent lives overseas.


NC Penguin

Thanks Sunflowergrl!Yes that is pretty much exactly what I was trying to say.

Ian,I don't know about the 1,2,3 options,I just know what I feel.I dont know if it's about crowding,maybe being taken over.But it's totally non hypocrytical because I would apply the same rules to me.

Let me just clarrify one thing here,I did not know (until you guys told me)that getting married over there and THEN applying for a I-130 (k3) Is Illeagal.That's whY I asked.I have NO intention of doing anything illeagal or anything that would put my son,me or my fiance in a bad position or worse in jail!Never!

On a furthur note,when I lived in france I lived in a region called the dordogne,(south west) and it's very popular with the English ex pats.At anyone time in the dordogne there can be up to 85,000 english people,That's just one region.Now I actually got quite pissed off at walking around my home town over there (home is where you live to me,I have moved 22 times in my life!)and hearing all these English voices,a lot of them make NO effort to speak franch,in fact they just ASSUME that everyone speaks or shoudl speak English,they made English cricket clubs (fair enough) and create a snug,anti social and mostly anti french enviroment for themselves.

THAT is what I hate,It's one thing to go on holiday and not speak the language.(You cant expect that of people)but when you go to a country you at least make an EFFORT to speak their language,respect their lives and culture.I understand isolation and he loneliness you can get from not speaking the native language TRUST ME I do,but you CAN learn.I'm not suggesting you HAVE to socialise and Go be best friends with the natives,but what I hate (I have seen A lot of this)is agressive,mean and disrespectful behaviour.And yes you got it the "trying to turn this country into your own".You go somewhere,it is what is it,you can still be religious,socialable and keep your own cultural beliefs and patterns but what I disagree is trying to enforce it on the place where you are living (if it's not where your from)

I would NEVER,expect or demand a foreign country to addapt and or help me,sure I might ask,and IF they let me in I am forever respectful and greatul.This should not stop anyone expressing their opinions,thats all they are,but actively coming in dissaproving,hating,wanting to change or alter the surroundings,locals,culture,religion and or everything else tangibal or not.It's not right.If I don't like a country and or agree with it's policies,I am not going to have the audacity to say so,I wuld rather go home...

I don't know If I am making anymore sense,I am glad though that some of you are nice enough (brave enough)to hear what I said and know that I am not being mean and maybe I DO have a point even though I express it badly.(SORRY!)

As for where we are headed,well it's north carolina to start,but IF all goes well and we are accepted.We plan to marry and ultimately end up in Northern California.

Thanks again guys for looking twice and sticking up for me.I appreciate it!

xxxx

NC penguin,

The father of my son is french.He has little to do with me or my son.(he has seen him twice)I told him that we are going to the states and he hardly reacted at all.I dont think it has any bearing on us as it's under french law!He was born in france (has a UK passport) and I am the only prson on his birth certificate,which as he law stands (i think)Means I have sole custody and decision as to where we go and what we do.

In france both parents have to "declare"the child when it is born and if the father does not declare he is the father of that child,then the birth certificate stays blank until this is done.I DID ask him to declare my son as his own when he was first born and he said he didnt want to because of the moeny issues (NICE! I KNOW)So I said fair enough,but you have no say until you do that and contribute.

Anyway,sorry got off track,hope you get what I mean,either way my point was,"legally"My son is fatherless (sad to say but true)So if anyone were to ask about the father I will just say "unknown"If he cared,I would be more sensitive of course but I am not going to complicate things for us and comprimise our happiness for him to be invloved legally,I know he would help us and say yes,(i have discussed our leaving with him)but it would make things harder paperwork wise,so I'll leave that blank!

Thanks for the thought though!

X

<<<sigh>>>

This is not what we said.

You clearly STILL do not yet have a clue about this whole process.

Do yourself a favour and go and talk to an experienced immigration attorney.

And I really don't think anyone here is interested in your views on immigrants etc. There is Take it Outside for that.

Oh btw Jamie,

Sorry I didnt see your last question,...We do plan a big thig in october,it would actually be on a ship,but I am told that the wedding act is performed under the bermudan law and are recognised by the states and the uk...but we will probably do it in the states to as a formality,(sad I think but if it;s neccessary!)so there you go,thanks for the heads up!

This is not the part that's illegal. It is perfectly legal to come to the USA on the VWP, get married, and file the I-130. No problem.

The problem is that you aren't supposed to remain beyond your 90-day visit. You can file the I-130, but you should return to your home country for visa processing.

Rene

Yes,that's what I meant,I think we got crossed wires here!I always intended to come back within 90 days,I think thats where the whole "illegal"thign came out,you guys thought I meant,go there,get married,apply for a visa and NOT come home,no no,I always had the return ticket and always intended on coming home.

However I then misunderstood you guys and though the WHOLE getting married in the states was illegal and applying over there,thought you meant I HAD to do it FROM the uk.but wires are uncrossed now.

Thanks for clearing it up for me though guys!

As for you Elvira,well,I think the forum is big enough for you to not respond to this thread <<<<SIGH>>>>unless you cant cant keep yourself away.
I understand that YOU dont like me,but there is no reason to keep on coming back to me is there?Oh and the sarcy patronising is getting a little old but I'll bear in mind what you said!Thank you!

I think you have something figured out, but I'm not sure what.

I do know that my browser 'back' button works just fine, and your first posts very much contradict what you say here, now.
I get it that you didn't know what you proposed is not kosher; hopefully you're clear now.

At any rate, the simplest way to put it is: If you want to move to the US, get a visa for that purpose ahead of time.

In article <[email protected]> ,
Miffylou <member56203@british_expats.com> wrote:
    >> PLEASE READ ALL OF THIS CAREFULLY AS NOT TO BE OFFENDED!THANKS
    >> I agree,everyone individually has their own reason,I was not
    >> suggesting that "assylum seekers" are theiving from the system.
    >> English people are just as much to blame for the state of our own
    >> frail economy but because of all of the people forcing their way in
    >> (not just assylum seekers) they have made it difficult for
    >> EVERYONE,not each case is looked with the individuality it deserves,we
    >> have allbeen put into a "giant strict sorting trey "when some of us
    >> have no intention of entering illegally,draining the economy and or
    >> taking the jobs of the natives.
    >> I do actually know 3 families who are friends of mine,they all entered
    >> illegally and I guess in that situation they have no choice,but they
    >> got a house,benifits and (maybe not a colour T.v)but A LOT of help.I
    >> just find hypocritical that The UK lets so many of it's own fall
    >> through the saftey net and live on the streets and in jepordy but
    >> houses so many who are running away from theri own country ,
    >> I was not being racist far from it,but our country is small and there
    >> are too many houses/cars and people as it is.
    >> America on the other hand is enourmous,France is enourmous (i lived
    >> there) and I just wish they would set up better supprt systems in
    >> places where there is room and also maybe some of the richer countries
    >> with room to spare should put there hand in their pockets...
    >> I dont even know why I brought it up coz it was only going to start an
    >> argument,I was in fact waiting for it.but lets be honest guys,there
    >> are just over 60 milions people in great britain and about 6.7% of
    >> that are "other" ethnic groups. If you think how small our island
    >> is,how much of the country is crowded and poluted and that in some
    >> schools in birmingham they are making hindu the second language? I
    >> mean hello?Alarm bells are not ringing with anyone,certain areas of
    >> manchester are "non english" ares where the locals are not welcome.I
    >> do not agree with this in any country.The English did this to India
    >> last centuary so I guess you could call it "payback time".
    >> I think as long as the country can support others and has the space
    >> then EVERYONE should be allowed to go ANYWHERE in the world.The thing
    >> I disagree with is moving in,bringing 2o people and TRYING to turn it
    >> into their country,enforce their languages and religions.We have in
    >> the UK one of the biggest mosques in europe...That did not come from
    >> the natives!

Wow, ONLY 6.7% of people in the UK are "other"? Care to guess what it is in
the US?? Here in California, as far as I know, caucasian is less than 50%.
My wife is a teacher, and her students are mostly asian. Hardly a "Smith" or
"Jones" in the bunch.

Have you actually visited the US?!? Visited a large city, seen their
mosques, etc?

btw, I'm sure very few people would object if you wanted to move to Death
Valley and promised to only ever live there. Of course, after it hits 50C
for the 20th day in a row with no one else for miles around, I'm sure you'd
be QUITE happy to move back to the UK.

It's not JUST the fact that we don't want to share. Many portions of the US
(and Canada) are NOT very desirable due to climate, location, isolation,
etc. And those areas that ARE desirable are already quite crowded. Like NY
and LA, for instance.

MH

sounds to me like miffy was confused about the visas, and now she's not.

i understand (and remember very clearly) how intimidating the whole process is.

hopefully the op has enough advice now to go on and make some good choices. at least it sounds like she's wanting to do it the correct way, even if there is frustration there.