dbj1000

LMFAO!

Freudian slip? Gotta watch those creepy male story readers around the kids!

MsElui

LadyBelle

Hi! It sounds to me like you have a couple of things going on at once. One is that you're somewhat 'new', since it sounds like your child is only 18m old, to being a SAHM. That's a big adjustment in and of itself. I'm assuming you were working before that? BIG adjustment; I went through it too, and did so as an expat too. And from your comment about being excited about the conversations you had at your husband's event/meetings/party (can't remember what it was), it sounds like you might like to be part of that world again.

Two is that you're in a new culture. I know nothing about Katy, but it seems to also have its nuances of its own culture as well. If your neighbor came over with a recipe for you even the first day, it must be that in 'their' culture (the Katy one ), that this is a way to welcome someone. So consider yourself welcomed. Maybe bring them a shepard's pie recipe! Mmmmm.

You thinking they're strange might actually be, as someone said, reflected in how you speak and act around them. You don't need to be fake nor to make friends you'd rather not spend time with, but do you really want to offend? Like I said, I know nothing about Katy, but if it's the case that these SAHM's are people that have really embraced being SAHM's and love it, is there any reason to fault them --- or look down on them? (If they're absolute wenches, on the other hand, then it's best to stay away! But I'm not hearing that anyone has been awful to you?)

"What does your husband do?" is a question that can be as innocuous as the UK's "What weather we've been having, eh?" It's an ice-breaker for many in the US, not a big deal. For some, however, of course they're trying to gauge how much money someone has, etc., but for many it's just a way to get into a conversation. When I first relocated to the UK (London, as a matter of fact), I could not understand why everyone British that I met was talking to me about the weather; then I read a chapter in a book that explained the whole thought that it was an ice-breaking means and it all made sense. If that question and its follow-up conversation works, all kinds of things follow! Quite funny, actually; and now I can have weather conversations with the best of them. Sort of.

What is it that you're asking that has them taken aback?

How many expats are in your neighborhood...i.e. are these people used to foreigners? They might not be used to your sense of humor/demeanor/accent, etc.. You may even seem cold/aloof to them, and maybe it's a barrier.

You said you're enjoying the US overall anyway, so it sounds like you're doing well. Overall, it sounds like you have multiple factors playing all at the same time (new role (SAHM - did you give up a job before leaving the UK or upon arriving in US? rhetorical question), leaving friends and family in UK, new US culture, new Katy culture, etc.). Someone gave you good advice as to see where culture shock might be affecting your perceptions and behavior too. See if you can't figure out where. And try not to discount the fact that becoming a SAHM is a big transition, whether you're in your homeland or not. I was a SAHM in London, and there were many people who were just into kid things too; but with such a big population of expats around, you were sure to find some who were trailing spouses who, like you said, had once had or still had career histories / life stories that would be of interest to you too. Still, we spent a lot of our time in kiddie classes, on the playground, at the farm, etc.. Fulfilling? To some... Made great friends and so did our kids!

Overall, try not to look down on anyone. To each his own and I'm sure you'll find some people, USC's or not, who you will like spending time with.

Enjoy! Must go take my kids to the park now!!! LOL.

ionaskye

LOL ,

welcome to Texas ,I am a scot living here and its things like that ,makes me laugh ,next you will be asked to join a church but you must admit people are friendly just over the top

ionaskye

I woukd advice that as well you can always find someone thats normal within the group

AC-Queen

Thanks for your advice. I am working very hard to get out and meet friends here, and from the moment I arrived, I've joined up to local community groups - attend book clubs, movie clubs etc....
There would be no reason why anyone would think I am looking down on them - actually the reverse is probably true - I'm so keen to make friends that I am very interested in what they say. That said, there is no denying they are 'steely' to 'outsiders' even if it is politely so.
I think I am just frustrated that even after meeting and going out to playdates/ girlie outings/ etc... the conversation really doesn't stretch beyond children, scrapbooks and interior design - even with the ladies who have known each other much longer than I have known them. That is not a judgement against them, per se - whatever makes them happy, but it is frustrating for me, and I am only expressing my opinion and frustrations here (and it has helped tremendously).
I have become 'good' friends with a neighbour from NJ, who is finding the same problems - in fact she had been stalking me while I took my son out in his stroller (in a nice way!) to see if I was a 'normal' person she could make friends with. We plan to meet up regularly at Starbucks. She has had the exact same experience here and for a very outgoing NJ lady, has actually given up trying to make more friends.
Bearing in mind I made and had very good friends in London from many different cultures, I have never had this personality problem before.
Absolutely I am finding the SAHM in a new country a bit strange, particularly with the way of life in Katy, but I previously was a SAHM in London following my son's birth. I therefore do not look down on SAHM - I am impressed,amused and daunted by the professional SAHM here - they take their roles soooo seriously, they can be a little scary and intimidating. You should see how they run their soccer mom schedules!
I have also started part time studies downtown in order to get out and about more, and find the people there very different - much more comfortable to talk to and make friends. They seemed aware that the people 30mins away in the suburbs are like this, so I don't think the problem is limited to me!

pippermint

Well, what you're experiencing sounds more like a TEXAS problem than a US one. Although...I must admit I have the same issues in California with the moms living and breathing the "mom role". I also have way more to talk about then kids and family but most moms around here seemt o be soley focused on that. It's one of the reasons I'm hopeful that when we move to England I'll be able to meet women who want to talk about things other than Dora the Explorer or whats for dinner!!
My advice....find the "downtown crowd" Go to art galleries or plays. Find creative people. In your immediate circle you probably won't be able to do more than Bunco and scrapbooking