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Single mum in NYC?

Single mum in NYC?

Old Aug 6th 2004, 11:12 am
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Question Single mum in NYC?

Hi all. I'd be grateful for any advice here - I've applied for a job in NYC, with the United Nations. Reasonable pay, rent allowance etc. However, I'm in the process of separating from my partner.
Is it realistic to be considering moving to what is traditionally a rather intimidating city in the next year? and I have 3 kids to think of.

I'm in my mid-40s, and certainly not thinking of a new relationship, but worrying about having a social life at all...

Whaddya think?
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Old Aug 6th 2004, 1:23 pm
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Default Re: Single mum in NYC?

Originally posted by jaxindhaka
Hi all. I'd be grateful for any advice here - I've applied for a job in NYC, with the United Nations. Reasonable pay, rent allowance etc. However, I'm in the process of separating from my partner.
Is it realistic to be considering moving to what is traditionally a rather intimidating city in the next year? and I have 3 kids to think of.

I'm in my mid-40s, and certainly not thinking of a new relationship, but worrying about having a social life at all...

Whaddya think?

I think the answer to your question depends entirely on how much you might be paid for the job (if you get it) if you're on popstar wages, then finding an apartment (assuming that the UN will assist you as a co-signer for credit) shouldn't be a problem and you'll find a decent area in the upper west or upper east side, fairly near the park. If you're on less than $75,000 you'll struggle to find a decent apartment anywhere near the UN building on the Upper East Side.

Good Luck...and remember, childcare for 3 will not be cheap over here.

CC
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Old Aug 6th 2004, 1:28 pm
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Default Re: Single mum in NYC?

Originally posted by jaxindhaka
Hi all. I'd be grateful for any advice here - I've applied for a job in NYC, with the United Nations. Reasonable pay, rent allowance etc. However, I'm in the process of separating from my partner.
Is it realistic to be considering moving to what is traditionally a rather intimidating city in the next year? and I have 3 kids to think of.

I'm in my mid-40s, and certainly not thinking of a new relationship, but worrying about having a social life at all...

Whaddya think?
You may have bigger issues looming on the horizon. You haven't stated whether your three children will be coming with you should you get the job in the US.

If so, this leads to the question, does your partner currently have legal rights to the children? If so, there may be custody issues that need to be resolved before you and the children ever leave British soil.

Also, if you plan for your children to be with you in the US, have you considered their happiness in NYC?

Just my 5 cents...
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Old Aug 6th 2004, 1:43 pm
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Default Re: Single mum in NYC?

Originally posted by NC Penguin
You may have bigger issues looming on the horizon. You haven't stated whether your three children will be coming with you should you get the job in the US.

If so, this leads to the question, does your partner currently have legal rights to the children? If so, there may be custody issues that need to be resolved before you and the children ever leave British soil.

Also, if you plan for your children to be with you in the US, have you considered their happiness in NYC?

Just my 5 cents...

I thought she was in Bangladesh.?

we just plain need much more information here
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Old Aug 6th 2004, 2:18 pm
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Schools are going to be your main concern.

We chose not to live in Manhatten purely for that reason as the public schools have mostly a very poor reputation and private schools cost upwards of $20k per pupil per year. There is even a Merc with consular plates which drops off a child at my son's public school in the New Jersey suburbs.

I was once chatting with a (black) South African family at JFK. They were on a posting in New York with the UN and their children attended the United Nations school. I was interested about this as my eldest child used to attend United World College of South East Asia in Singapore, but as French is one of the compulsory working languages at the UN school which she wasn't fluent in, we didn't enroll her or her brother there.

They weren't at all impressed with the UN school. They thought that discipline was a problem and weren't happy with the quality of teaching there....to the extent that they were thinking of boarding their children in a British school!

Oh - and another thing. Nannies are going to cost an absolute fortune. The daily nanny in the house directly opposite mine is paid $700 per week (despite the mother not working!) to look after two under-fives. My friend employs an illegal Filipina nanny (didn't know she was illegal at first as it's illegal to ask immigration status at job interviews!) and she is a live-in. Her wages are $450 per week...this is in the suburbs 15-18 miles from NYC and Manhatten wages are higher. Check out the New York section for accommodation and nannies here:

http://www.craigslist.com

Last edited by Englishmum; Aug 6th 2004 at 2:26 pm.
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Old Aug 6th 2004, 2:41 pm
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Originally posted by Englishmum
The daily nanny in the house directly opposite mine is paid $700 per week (despite the mother not working!) to look after two under-fives. ]

No way!!! And the mother sits at home?? Hey, for $700 I'll go and babysit.
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Old Aug 6th 2004, 4:37 pm
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Hmm - complicated. I'm not in the UK now, and nor is my ex, and he doesn't plan to return there. I don't think there is any question of him looking after the kids, and he assumes they will be with me.

Two are already at boarding school in the UK; my youngest is six and would probably board as soon as possible. My experience of American school pupils overseas has been one of total philistinism and appalling manners, so I would be wary of public schools in the US (or a UN school). However, at least two years of after-school childcare - phew! Though I suspect that the UN may make some provision for this.

The pay is considerably better than your quote - I'm a doctor - though no American physician would trouble to get out of bed for it...

What is the area like where the UN HQ is? Are there apartments etc in the neighbourhood? I really hate commuting.

I think the problem is that I just can't imagine it.
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Old Aug 6th 2004, 10:27 pm
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I think the problem is that I just can't imagine it. [/QUOTE]

You've said it all here..

I think you should take a trip over here, we are currently living in the Upper west side, nice apartment but very expensive and after apporaching 3 years, NYC is getting more annoying than fun, its noisy and hectic and we're looking for a place to get away to, Northern NJ or Westchester area (plus my office base is being moved just the other side of the Tappan-zee Bridge so it makes more sense to get out of the city)

I recommend that you take trip over here, take a look around, stay in a hotel on central park (loads of really nice hotels on Central Park south, east and west) and you'll not be too far from the UN building (which is on the upper east side), stay for at least a week, you'll get a decent look around and sound out some places to live and find some friendly people.
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Old Aug 8th 2004, 2:53 pm
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Default Re: Single mum in NYC?

Thanks - I'm sure you're right. If I get an interview, I'll take some leave and have a look round. If I don't, then I don't need to worry about it! (just getting a new job... )
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Old Aug 8th 2004, 7:55 pm
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Default Re: Single mum in NYC?

Originally Posted by Chopper-Chris
I think the problem is that I just can't imagine it.

You've said it all here..

I think you should take a trip over here, we are currently living in the Upper west side, nice apartment but very expensive and after apporaching 3 years, NYC is getting more annoying than fun, its noisy and hectic and we're looking for a place to get away to, Northern NJ or Westchester area (plus my office base is being moved just the other side of the Tappan-zee Bridge so it makes more sense to get out of the city)
Going to Nyack or above Chris? I just came from around there as I needed to do a little shopping at the Palisades Mall. One of my attorneys lives above there in Ramsey. Nice quiet area. Good schools. Close to the NY Thurway. The house is on the market as she is building a new one in Mahwah, NJ. Another lawyer just closed on a new built home last Friday in South Orange, NJ and commutes to NY. Takes him all of 30 minutes to midtown. The price ranges through are up and down. The Mahwah property and house over $2 million and the So. Orange one is just under $1 million.

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Old Aug 9th 2004, 1:36 pm
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Default Re: Single mum in NYC?

Originally Posted by Rete
Going to Nyack or above Chris? I just came from around there as I needed to do a little shopping at the Palisades Mall. One of my attorneys lives above there in Ramsey. Nice quiet area. Good schools. Close to the NY Thurway. The house is on the market as she is building a new one in Mahwah, NJ. Another lawyer just closed on a new built home last Friday in South Orange, NJ and commutes to NY. Takes him all of 30 minutes to midtown. The price ranges through are up and down. The Mahwah property and house over $2 million and the So. Orange one is just under $1 million.

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in that area somewhere...

we're looking at Ramsey, Ridgewood, Saddle River, Montvale Saddle River, Nyack
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Old Aug 9th 2004, 1:52 pm
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Default Re: Single mum in NYC?

I just looked at some apartment-rental websites (see, I'm getting the hang of the language ) and couldn't believe the prices for glorified shoeboxes. The best thing is the way the estate agents describe the places - talk about OTT.

Still, some of them look cool, if bijou. The UN does seem to be in an upmarket bit of the city.
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Old Aug 9th 2004, 3:28 pm
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Smile Re: Single mum in NYC?

Originally Posted by jaxindhaka
I just looked at some apartment-rental websites (see, I'm getting the hang of the language ) and couldn't believe the prices for glorified shoeboxes. The best thing is the way the estate agents describe the places - talk about OTT.

Still, some of them look cool, if bijou. The UN does seem to be in an upmarket bit of the city.

Welcome to NYC be careful about the realtors that you trust.

UN area is mainly expensive due to dipolmats living in that area...you're dead right about the shoeboxes.
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Old Aug 9th 2004, 4:09 pm
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Exclamation Re: Single mum in NYC?

Originally Posted by Chopper-Chris
Welcome to NYC be careful about the realtors that you trust.

UN area is mainly expensive due to dipolmats living in that area...you're dead right about the shoeboxes.

Too true. When my husband first moved over to the US with his job the company arranged for him to stay for the first few weeks in a serviced apartment. It was in East 52nd Street near the East River and a few blocks from the UN HQ. I couldn't believe it when I saw it.....it was really small inside and quite bare in terms of fittings and fixtures. Some Russian girl was supposed to provide 'maid' service and ran the dishwasher with just one grill-pan in it. Apparently Henry Kissinger lived/lives in the next apartment building in the same street......it cost the company a fortune for the apartment and I thought it was a total rip-off. I hated it (luckily only stayed a few days there as I had to return to the children in Singapore) as with the neighbouring high-rise apartment buildings the streets are in the shade for most of the day as the sunlight is blocked. I found that quite depressing. Also, the heating and hot water is under management control in almost all NYC apartments and at a fixed temperature which you can't adjust to make the rooms warmer.
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Old Aug 9th 2004, 4:39 pm
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Default Re: Single mum in NYC?

Originally Posted by Englishmum
Also, the heating and hot water is under management control in almost all NYC apartments and at a fixed temperature which you can't adjust to make the rooms warmer.
bear in mind also that you should look for an aopartment with central Air Conditioning, you'll need it in the summer months, if the apartment doesn't have one, you'll have to buy and fit a window unit, they run anywhere between $130 and $200+ and they're expensive to run.

Really, look in Jersey, your bank account will be much healthier, as will your lungs and ears!



apart from all the down sides to living in the city, most of which we have mentioned, you should experience living here at least once in your lifetime, its an amazing city and you'll never be bored...especially in the summer months, there is always a free concert, play, dance show, movie and many other things to do in all the city parks and squares. The city that never sleeps, whoever said that was right on the money.
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