Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > USA
Reload this Page >

Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Old May 31st 2012, 4:08 pm
  #16  
Under blue skies
 
WEBlue's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: East Anglia->New England
Posts: 3,620
WEBlue has a reputation beyond reputeWEBlue has a reputation beyond reputeWEBlue has a reputation beyond reputeWEBlue has a reputation beyond reputeWEBlue has a reputation beyond reputeWEBlue has a reputation beyond reputeWEBlue has a reputation beyond reputeWEBlue has a reputation beyond reputeWEBlue has a reputation beyond reputeWEBlue has a reputation beyond reputeWEBlue has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Originally Posted by Noorah101 View Post
I don't think there's a black and white yes/no answer to that. It would depend on that person's individual problems.
Originally Posted by GeoffM View Post
Depression covers a broad spectrum of causes. For example, a woman that suffered post natal depression is probably unlikely to have depression triggered by a new environment on its own - another baby then maybe but that wouldn't be related to the environment necessarily.
I agree that the cause(s) of the depression history need to be examined first & foremost before one makes the decision to expatriate. The expat-to-be should look long & hard within to see if this giant move/trauma will be a good one or not, & that involves being honestly investigative about the nature of his/her own depression. That's not so easy to do, but it would seem to be key.

Then, second, research & as much visiting as possible. Even with all this done in advance, however, the mind is a strange thing . . . so there are no guarantees for a depressionless outcome. (And sometimes I suspect a *limited* experience of depression is a useful & necessary step in successfully expatting. But that's just my opinion, based on my experience.)
WEBlue is offline  
Old May 31st 2012, 4:09 pm
  #17  
Grove 4 Life
 
SultanOfSwing's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 47,542
SultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Originally Posted by Rose tea View Post
It probably has quite a lot do with how you end up in the US. If you move to the US for someone else, for example a marriage to a US citizen or for your spouse's company transfer, you can end up feeling isolated and powerless because you came for them and not really for yourself. I see this a lot on these boards, the spouse who left their life in the UK and never really settled overseas. It seems like it must be a lot of work to uproot your whole family, and then try to make the whole family okay with the situation. An exciting life challenge for one person is an overwhelming burden to another.

However, this can hit someone who's never been depressed before just as hard as it can someone who has been depressed before. If you happen to know that you become depressed when faced with a lot of change, stress, and isolation, it's something you'll have to factor into your decision about whether to make the move.
Yeah, you have a point here.

I moved the the US as a means to an end - to get married and to make it easier on my fiancée, who had a child, so they didn't have to go through the rigmarole of moving to the UK. Being fully honest - I have nothing personal against the US but I have no real personal or emotional investment in it either. I'm here because my wife and children are here and that's it. I will always prefer the UK, I think. This, combined with the apparent return of my depression, my normal introverted nature and my tendency to see the glass as half empty, that leads to some dark days.
SultanOfSwing is offline  
Old May 31st 2012, 6:10 pm
  #18  
gurt mint nit?
 
Xebedee's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: In my shed
Posts: 2,776
Xebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
.....Being fully honest - I have nothing personal against the US but I have no real personal or emotional investment in it either. I'm here because my wife and children are here and that's it. I will always prefer the UK, I think. This, combined with the apparent return of my depression, my normal introverted nature and my tendency to see the glass as half empty, that leads to some dark days.
So it went away and returned did it? How did you know it had left when it did? Were you diagnosed and aware enough to understand what was happening?
Xebedee is offline  
Old May 31st 2012, 6:14 pm
  #19  
BE Enthusiast
 
caleyjag's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Malibu, CA
Posts: 921
caleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

My sister is an interesting example of this.

She first moved to Canada a few years ago and was trying to cope with her various issues without medication. Things didn't work out that well for her work-wise and so coupled with her underlying issues, it was an unmitigated disaster.

She moved back to the UK, got herself together and decided she wanted to give it a second try, this time with the proper medication.

From what I can gather she is now having the time of her life in Calgary and the positive experiences and the great people she has met on this second stint have really helped her battle her anxiety/depression problems.

So I think it can really go drastically either way depending on the circumstances.
caleyjag is offline  
Old May 31st 2012, 6:32 pm
  #20  
Grove 4 Life
 
SultanOfSwing's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 47,542
SultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Originally Posted by Xebedee View Post
So it went away and returned did it? How did you know it had left when it did? Were you diagnosed and aware enough to understand what was happening?
It probably never went away, it was just a case of not being symptomatic, probably.

Of course I was diagnosed, in the UK. I'd not say I had it in the first place if I weren't.
SultanOfSwing is offline  
Old May 31st 2012, 6:50 pm
  #21  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 10,779
Giantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond reputeGiantaxe has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Not sure you can generalize on this, but I do think that life in the US is more stressful than life in the UK. Lack of universal healthcare and a social safety net, for example. Or employment laws that are way more tilted in favour of employers than in the UK. So, I certainly wouldn't advise anyone to move to the US who has difficulty in dealing with stress.
Giantaxe is offline  
Old May 31st 2012, 9:31 pm
  #22  
BE Enthusiast
 
caleyjag's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Malibu, CA
Posts: 921
caleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond reputecaleyjag has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Originally Posted by Giantaxe View Post
Not sure you can generalize on this, but I do think that life in the US is more stressful than life in the UK. Lack of universal healthcare and a social safety net, for example. Or employment laws that are way more tilted in favour of employers than in the UK. So, I certainly wouldn't advise anyone to move to the US who has difficulty in dealing with stress.
Very good point.

Not to mention the additional safety net offered by friends and family, which you have to build up again from scratch.
caleyjag is offline  
Old Jun 1st 2012, 4:14 pm
  #23  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Boiler's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 33,533
Boiler has a reputation beyond reputeBoiler has a reputation beyond reputeBoiler has a reputation beyond reputeBoiler has a reputation beyond reputeBoiler has a reputation beyond reputeBoiler has a reputation beyond reputeBoiler has a reputation beyond reputeBoiler has a reputation beyond reputeBoiler has a reputation beyond reputeBoiler has a reputation beyond reputeBoiler has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

The only difference we are talking about is between those who have a diagnosis, and those who have not.
Boiler is online now  
Old Jun 2nd 2012, 10:31 pm
  #24  
BE Forum Addict
 
kins's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Maine
Posts: 2,043
kins has a reputation beyond reputekins has a reputation beyond reputekins has a reputation beyond reputekins has a reputation beyond reputekins has a reputation beyond reputekins has a reputation beyond reputekins has a reputation beyond reputekins has a reputation beyond reputekins has a reputation beyond reputekins has a reputation beyond reputekins has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

I have a history of depression that involved medication and fairly extensive treatment.

I emigrated to the US about 10 years after my last major bout of depression (not counting some minor PND) and am very happy here. I've no idea if it will come back, but I don't see it being any more difficult to cope with here than in the UK - if anything I'd say it's easier to access treatment here. Accessing counselling/psychotherapy through the NHS is incredibly difficult.
kins is offline  
Old Jun 4th 2012, 1:10 pm
  #25  
gurt mint nit?
 
Xebedee's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: In my shed
Posts: 2,776
Xebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
It probably never went away, it was just a case of not being symptomatic, probably.
Of course I was diagnosed, in the UK. I'd not say I had it in the first place if I weren't.
Mate, no offence, my questions were purely of an inquisitive nature as the only other person I have spoken with who deals with depression is back home in England.
I, myself was diagnosed a few years ago and have been on many different types of happy pills. Nowadays one in particular seems to make things quite workable.

I went undiagnosed for 20yrs until I finally took my Wife's advise and went and talked to a Dr. This was because admitting to "depression" was basically equal to massive personal failure. It still feels a bit that way even now.

Long story short, it is now quite clear that depression has always been there and tied to so much trouble and pain in the past. Have never been to a shrink to discuss the hows and why's. In fact, the Doc never asked about the cause - he just prescribed based upon symptoms - which suits me fine as I'd only feel comfortable discussing these things with another foreigner anyway.

I quite clearly understood what you said in your post, by the way.

Last edited by Xebedee; Jun 4th 2012 at 1:16 pm. Reason: Blancmange.
Xebedee is offline  
Old Jun 4th 2012, 4:56 pm
  #26  
Grove 4 Life
 
SultanOfSwing's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 47,542
SultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Originally Posted by Xebedee View Post
Mate, no offence, my questions were purely of an inquisitive nature as the only other person I have spoken with who deals with depression is back home in England.
I, myself was diagnosed a few years ago and have been on many different types of happy pills. Nowadays one in particular seems to make things quite workable.

I went undiagnosed for 20yrs until I finally took my Wife's advise and went and talked to a Dr. This was because admitting to "depression" was basically equal to massive personal failure. It still feels a bit that way even now.

Long story short, it is now quite clear that depression has always been there and tied to so much trouble and pain in the past. Have never been to a shrink to discuss the hows and why's. In fact, the Doc never asked about the cause - he just prescribed based upon symptoms - which suits me fine as I'd only feel comfortable discussing these things with another foreigner anyway.

I quite clearly understood what you said in your post, by the way.
Not to worry, none taken.

My doc prescribed based on symptoms too. I'd rather pull out all my fingernails than 'talk about it' to a perfect stranger, of course. I've a pretty strong aversion to that whole world and it sounds like exactly the kind of wank an American doctor would try to force on me so I'll just embrace the misery as my punishment for moving here in the first place.
SultanOfSwing is offline  
Old Jun 5th 2012, 8:37 pm
  #27  
gurt mint nit?
 
Xebedee's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: In my shed
Posts: 2,776
Xebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond reputeXebedee has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
Not to worry, none taken.
My doc prescribed based on symptoms too. I'd rather pull out all my fingernails than 'talk about it' to a perfect stranger, of course. I've a pretty strong aversion to that whole world and it sounds like exactly the kind of wank an American doctor would try to force on me so I'll just embrace the misery as my punishment for moving here in the first place.
Punishment.......or doing time?
Sometimes it feels like doing time. Trouble is, when it does, my black dog doesn't let me see anything else around me. It gets pretty damn dark.
Does that make sense?

I'm not really sure, but I have the feeling that when the day comes to return home, its going to be unlike anything else that has gone before.
To be honest, I can walk down the High St of my town and feel completely at ease - you know, just one of the crowd. It takes a few days to re-adjust, but after a week or so it seems like America simply doesn't exist. Except, I know it does as my own family is there doing the things we do every day. Its actually quite odd - like I'm in a parallel universe for a short while.

Fearless Pioneer, Castaway or Jail-bird - I suppose it depends on which way the wind is blowing.
Xebedee is offline  
Old Jun 5th 2012, 10:26 pm
  #28  
Grove 4 Life
 
SultanOfSwing's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 47,542
SultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond reputeSultanOfSwing has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Originally Posted by Xebedee View Post
Punishment.......or doing time?
Sometimes it feels like doing time. Trouble is, when it does, my black dog doesn't let me see anything else around me. It gets pretty damn dark.
Does that make sense?

I'm not really sure, but I have the feeling that when the day comes to return home, its going to be unlike anything else that has gone before.
To be honest, I can walk down the High St of my town and feel completely at ease - you know, just one of the crowd. It takes a few days to re-adjust, but after a week or so it seems like America simply doesn't exist. Except, I know it does as my own family is there doing the things we do every day. Its actually quite odd - like I'm in a parallel universe for a short while.

Fearless Pioneer, Castaway or Jail-bird - I suppose it depends on which way the wind is blowing.
I do know what you mean, there. That's how I felt when I last went back too.
SultanOfSwing is offline  
Old Jun 5th 2012, 10:26 pm
  #29  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Sally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond reputeSally Redux has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing View Post
I do know what you mean, there. That's how I felt when I last went back too.
Me too.
Sally Redux is offline  
Old Jun 5th 2012, 10:38 pm
  #30  
SUPER MODERATOR
 
Jerseygirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 83,016
Jerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should someone with a history of depression be an expat?

I haven't posted before in this thread because I've posted many times about how moving here has affected me. I've been through a few bad times but nothing ever got me down. I am quite a strong person...if necessary I can sit myself down and give myself a good talking to and sort myself out. After moving here I found that no longer worked...I couldn't rationalise what was happening to me. The last thing I wanted was to talk to a doctor...that would be admitting failure and I couldn't do that...I still can't do that. St John's Wort helped me tremendously...I sometimes have black days...when I do I take 3 SJW tabs and they lift my mood.
Jerseygirl is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.