Barry_bum_whistle

Hi everyone, this is my first post on the forum.
I have had my k1 visa approved and I'm due to fly out on the 29th of April to marry my American fiance. I am from Derbyshire in England and my fiance lives in elburn illinois which.
Does anyone that moved to the USA from the UK regret doing so?.. I'm a little worried that this time isn't a vacation, it's a new life. Sure when we have been there on vacation we have fell in love with the place and would like to stay there forever, but moving and selling down opens up some new parameters. Finding a job. Obtaining a driving licence. Actually fitting in with a new life. I'm worried about making the leap now that it's getting closer and my mind flicks from definitely wanting to move to wanting to stay here.

jellybean_17

Hi, congratulations on your upcoming wedding
I'm sure someone who has made the move a long time ago will be along soon with plenty of good and practical advice. I just wanted to say its totally normal to feel like that and there will be times after the move that you are overwhelmed by it all. You're not alone or the first to feel that way so don't panic. This is a great place for finding info on many of your worries too. There will always be things you will miss about the UK but equally there will be so many new experiences and things in the states that you'll come to love.

Guindalf

Nineteen years and counting. Came out here with a K1, two suitcases (one containing a computer) and about four grand in funny green money!

Got married and we eventually moved out of the rented apartment my wife had and into a duplex (still renting) of our own. I was working freelance as a journalist for a while and, when I finally got my EAD , got a job in IT. We expanded the family by adding a dog - an American Pointer called Riley - and moved forward from there.

It hasn't been smooth sailing by any way, shape or form, but worth it? Absolutely! Would I do it again? In a heartbeat!

Do NOT expect it to be easy. Anything in life worth having is hard.

Regrets? I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention!

KK85

Hi, Barry!

It sounds like you have a good old-fashioned case of 'cold feet', which is absolutely normal! It's especially understandable considering the circumstances, which I can relate to very much.

Your whole life is about to change, in ways it is almost impossible to prepare for, at least on an emotional level. Perhaps it might be useful to remind yourself how hard you worked to get to this point - you wouldn't have put yourself through this K-1 process if you didn't really, really want to be with your partner, right? And being with your partner means uprooting your entire life and starting over, which is absolutely terrifying, of course, but I personally find a lot of comfort in seeing it as an adventure, rather than a resentment-fuelled compromise/sacrifice (which is how I viewed it to begin with!).

Like Guindalf says, it's not going to be easy. But not much worth having is, and your partner is there to show you the ropes in America when it comes to work, health insurance, the rest.

I truly understand your fears - it took me two years to make my mind up about whether I could or could not make 'The Big Move', and those two years were filled with every emotion under the sun. I'm still a few months away from the big day, but I find it helpful to focus on the things I'm excited to gain, rather than the things I'll be leaving behind. I hope it will be of comfort to you to know you are not the only one who's felt this way, and I wish you the very best of luck.

Twinkle0927

You're bound to have some feelings of "am I doing the right thing?". And yes, coming to visit us completely different to living here, as we constantly tell the Disney World visitors who decide, after two weeks of roller coasters and junk food, that they want to live in the USA.

Sounds like you're being realistic if you recognize that there will be ups and downs. It's not utopia. There will be a lot of the same frustrations and annoyances that there are at home or anywhere else in the world. That's life. Bad days at work, your car won't start, bills to pay, traffic jams... you know the kind of thing. All the same stuff but with a different background.

I have days when I just want to go back to Europe. But they are few and far between. I just see the move I made as moving in with my husband and instead of moving across town to his place I've travelled a bit further. When it's just the two of us at home I don't even think that I am no longer in the U.K. It only really hits me that I'm here when I'm trying to find decent cheese.

KK85

This gives me hope, and also nightmares.

aless02

decent cheese does exist, you just have to search a bit harder. Trader Joe's or Aldi is often the best supermarket source.

The US *is* different, but also at the end of the day, being with the one(s) you love is what will keep you level.

Redwing

I have been here almost 39 years, and have absolutely no regrets. In the first 3/4 months, I did occasionally wonder if I had done the right thing, but my children loved it here, particularly with the attention they got at school. I had a job waiting for me when we arrived, so that helped.
I wish you all the best, and hope you settle in quickly.

kins

I have no regrets. My family is happy here, my children are in great schools, my husband has a good job, I freelance and enjoy my life balance. I mostly adore where I live, although in March/April I start to really resent the snow.

However, I also think that there is only so much you can control about your life. We have this idea that our lives will be better in the UK or the US or somewhere else. But actually, often the things that make our lives happier or easier or better are unrelated to which country we live in.

And you're not moving forever. You could go back if you had to (I did, twice).

I'm from near Derbyshire BTW, and some of the things I miss most are the hills, the pubs, the stone-built houses, the stately homes with beautiful gardens. So be ready for that :-)

ian-mstm

I see what you did there! I approve!

Ian

ian-mstm

I moved to the US on April 1, 1998 (19 years and 5 days ago) on a K-1 visa. Sheila and I married in May - so, almost 19 years ago! For the first few months it was very strange... not just being in the US, but not knowing where things are - how to get from Point A to Point B and back again on my own. I can definitely say almost to the day when things turned around for me. It was when I got my first job (part-time, but it was a start) in August that year - about 4 months after entering the US. It wasn't the job so much, but that I was starting to meet people who weren't already friends with my new wife. That was when I began to experience a sense of independence - and in all the years since then, I've not really had any major regrets. Minor ones? Sure... that's normal. But I never once felt that I wanted to return home... indeed, this was now my home.

Ian

Adnams

I've been here 15 years and still regret every day that I agreed to move here. Having said that you may just be having cold feet. I'd say go for it, try it for a couple of years and if it doesn't work out go home to the UK. At least that way you'll have at least tried it and will know for sure whether it was for you or not. Instead of always wondering "what if.." Good luck.

civilservant

I've been here 4 years - I married an American and moved on a CR1.

Within 18 months, the marriage was at an end. I can tell you from bitter experiance that seeing someone for a couple of months a year and living with them are 2 very different things.

I found myself alone, and without a support system, 4,000 miles away from pretty much anyone else i knew. It was and is the best thing that ever happened to me. Was it tough at first? Of course - but I got through it, and I love my life.

tom169

I've been here since November having entered on K-1. No regrets as everything has just about worked out. Currently closing on a house and settling down.

Finding a job: Depends on what you do for a living like anywhere.
Driving license: Fairly easy. I wouldn't worry about this.

Good luck!

drlol

I have been in the US, midwest, for 8 years and still get very homesick for the Northwest of England. I think if you are going to make the move here you have to be nearly 100% certain. It's a very different culture and a very different life. They do not have the village life that exists in England. They are the friendliest people in the world until they go home and then they disappear for some reason. Weather is great, hot summers and cold winters and taxes are lower but that isn't everything. Day 2 of being here I knew it was a mistake but have tried to persist with it as wife is American. I am very close to going back to UK and my home town, friends, relatives and familiarity. But I came from a lovely part of the world and that is just my opinion. Others have settled well I'm sure. If your fiancé has a great family and friend network you can settle into that will make it a lot easier. If you like pubs etc then there is nothing similar.