Question About Babies...
 

... no, it's not the birds and the bees but I was just wondering who'd had babies here and in the UK (or both) and how the experiences compared.

I am in a bit of a quandry at the moment as we'd like another bub but I am not looking forward to going it alone again (the last 15 months with my little one have been very difficult without support) so I basically have to decide whether to have one here or in the UK. This really affects all our other plans for moving back etc.

Basically, if I have a new bub here:
I will be covered by private med insurance (which I have been paying an arm and a leg for for 12 months to guarantee that I could.) This means private OB, private room and a week at the Sofitel to recover (I kid you not!)

I will have my fabbo private surgeon here - had an emergency caesar last time and will be going for an elective caesar on any more children. Would feel much happier about this than the NHS though I realise people have children in Blighty everyday and live to tell the tale!

I will get maternity leave and pay (for what it's worth!) from my current job but you are meant to repay any monies if you don't return to work after 12 months. Suppose I could hide out in the UK...!!

My mum & Dad could come over for a month to help out when bubs is born but we'd have a few months on our own before we could return to the UK and settle down. This means I'd be in limbo with a new bub & a toddler which is not very appealing.

Will have to relocate to the UK with a toddler and a new bub - NOT looking forward to that!

I'd have to wait until late 2008 to go back to the UK AND I would be pregnant over Xmas. We are planning to go back to the UK for a month in December and I'm afraid it won't be quite the same if I am up the duff!

We are planning to head back at some point in 2008 but are holding off making firm plans until we've been back for a recce in Dec. Trouble is, if I want a baby over here I'd like to be past the 3month stage for the trip (so I don't spend the whole time puking!) so would need to crack on ;) but if I am having it there - I could enjoy Christmas more and move back earlier.

I just don't know what to do! It seems silly not to take advantage of the healthcare available to me here but it all just seems to hard at the moment!

Help!

Em

Re: Question About Babies...
 

I'll quickly answer the Q about having babies in England.

I've had 3 elective sections and all were fab experiences. With 2 of them I used my husbands Bupa insurance and had the baby in a NHS hospital and recouperated in a private hospital. With the 3rd I had the whole thing in the NHS hospital and it went very well. I was home in 2 days and able to drive again in 2 weeks.

Re: Question About Babies...
 

We had a bit of a dilemma when it came to deciding to try for baby number 2 we were unsure of what our future held so couldnt decide, we eventually we started trying it took 6 mths to conceive, im now 31 weeks pregnant my mum and dad are coming over for 3 weeks when the baby is born its has been hard though i have been far more nervous this time round i put it down to having no family here.

As for the care ive received i cant fault it im on medicare and have no private health cover but still the treatment i have had has been very good!!

Hope you can make a decision its hard one but im glad i chose to do it rather than have a even bigger gap between kids there is already 4 years.

good luck

kezx

Re: Question About Babies...
 

Hi Kez,

Thanks for that. I am concerned about the gap too so don't want to wait too long and I do have it in mind that it might take a while (they told me I couldn't have babies without IVF but bubs no 1 turned up after 1 attempt the old-fashioned way!!)

I had baby number 1 on my own here and it was OK but I think it would be a lot nicer and easier in the UK with all your family around.

Re: Question About Babies...
 

Try and do a search under my name and with the keyword maternity/pregnancy etc.

To try and summarise, I had a disastrous emergency section in the UK (Poole) with my first pregnancy. I was over stimulated which resulted in a uterine rip. Basically I was left much too long pushing (3 hours).

I was left with a hole in my uterus and a rip, subsequently my bladder totally adhered to my uterus. I found this out after my second (elective) section in Oz.

I know problems arise and are mishandled the world over, but, knowing what I do, and knowing that I am high risk, I simply wouldn't consider having a baby in the UK. If I had pushed my first son out as planned, in a pool accompanied by some nice relaxing music, then the public system and I would have got on just fine. In fact my choice would most likely be a home birth.

But, I knew I had a small pelvis and even wrote to my (mostly absent) Ob about this. I was dismissed as a neurotic first time Mum. My Mother had exactly the same problems as I did, and that's why I'm an only child.

After my section the Surgeon told me that my son and I had nearly died. Lovely.

Over here in Perth I have probably the best Ob/Gyn who specialises in high risk pregnancy. I cannot fault him or his care. He is fanatical about his patients. He fixed me up properly during my second section and I went on to have my third about 4 months ago. No problems.

The hospital was and is amazing, staff and midwives wonderful, never any real discomfort. They kept me in for 7/8 days each time to ensure a good enough recovery (again it could be shorter but depends on individuals). No great drama when you've got a double bed, fridge blah blah blah.

This after 23 patients to one midwife on my first night post section in Poole Hospital. I couldn't even get out of bed to get to my son, and no-one came to help for over an hour. Dreadful.

This is only my experience and I'm sure others have got wonderful stories to tell. But, I'm not one of them.

I had private insurance in the UK at the start of my second pregnancy but the only difference it made to me was that I could choose my own Ob and ensure he operated. Unless I wanted to go to London there were no private maternity hospitals nearby.

St. John of God, Subiaco - thanks for two wonderful experiences :thumbsup:

Hope this has helped :)

Re: Question About Babies...
 

There is 4.5 years between my 2 kids and it is fine although the 9 year old hates the almost 5 year old with a passion sometimes but hey thats kids for you.

Re: Question About Babies...
 

I had both of mine in the UK and the 2nd one was an elective section. It was absolutely fine. The care I got in hospital with her was great. But the most important care I got was from my family. They really rallied around me and were so hands on with both the kids. I would've been lost without them.

Re: Question About Babies...
 

You wouldn't have been Tracey, you would have done what most women do and just get on with it. When I had my youngest by emergency section I was in Canada and my old man was leaving Calgary for a job in Nova Scotia just 4 days later. He had to go otherwise no job. He left, I had 2 weeks to pack up our house and fly across to follow him. None of our family came to help, I just had to get on with it. That is why women differ to men because they can do such things (sorry guys)

Re: Question About Babies...
 

You would have to weigh up which part is more important for you, the giving birth part or the having people around part. Or at least see what tips the balance, could you cope with not such luxury and less personal care in return for the help of your family? For some people the birth doesn't matter so much, it's just a day or few days, but for others a negative experience can have a great impact on their life and even on bonding with their child. So it all depends on what you think will be best for you.

Re: Question About Babies...
 

I don't agree it's a woman thing, it's a human thing. If I walked on on my hubs right now, leaving our child, he would also just get on with it.

Re: Question About Babies...
 

I've had 4 elective c-sections (2 in Scotland, 1 in Norway and 1 in Malaysia) and although the actual operations were very similar the aftercare was very different. The NHS ward I was on was not great being understaffed and dirty. The midwives were fantastic when they had enough time to speak but usually you were left to your own devices A LOT!

I had my last baby in KL last year and did not have any family support around me but you do manage. I only stayed in hospital for 2 days as OH had to get back to work... The other 3 kids (6, 4 and 2) at the time were off on school holidays but I managed......we didn't get out of our pyjamas until lunchtime but that doesn't matter.....within a week I was driving around no problem....and back into our usual routine. I am now desperate for another baby but OH has said no......but he said that about no3 and no 4...might be nice to have an Aussie baby!

Galba

Re: Question About Babies...
 

another baby, are you mad woman :lol:

Re: Question About Babies...
 

I'm waiting for that feeling that some women get....when they know they don't want any more.......not got it yet! :)

Anyway, after 2 you don't have enough hands, so doesn't make much difference......apart from the flight cost ;)

Galba

Re: Question About Babies...
 

There will be 4.5 years between oldest and the new baby another Girl when she's born, im not too worried about it like you said kids fight i always did with my brothers.

my daughter is getting a bit jeoulous though she been very clingy with me she's normally a total daddy's girl but all she wants is me just now its hard to know how to deal with it i will have my hands full when the baby comes:confused:

kezx

Re: Question About Babies...
 

It is quite common Kerry. Try and involve her with everything, choosing clothes, nursery stuff, names etc. When baby arrives she can help with allsorts and my Katie was a real help even at such a young age.