Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Had some kids round tonight for a party and not one of them used the words please or thankyou. Most Americans I've met are quite mannerly but these two words seem to elude the majority of them. So is it a British thing?
We're struggling with our youngest at the moment as she has dropped the word please fom her vocabulary
Am I being anal with this?

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I know that down here most kids I know use please and thank you; perhaps because if they don't they get beaten six ways to Sunday.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Here, the kids are polite and use thank-you but you rarely get a please. It just doesn't seem to be a natural part of their speech for some reason yet they do use it occasionally.

As far as being anal - sometimes I do ask my three to think before they speak and insist that they ask for things in a more polite way. Sometimes I let it slide.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I dislike "Give me a" instead of "may I have a" or "I would like the"

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Most children round here are mannerly. All the trick-or-treaters we had said thank you, and most of my children's friends are very well trained.

I don't think you're not being anal at all--reminding and repitition helps children learn. We're sticklers for it, and as a results manners come naturally to them.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I see it all the time well the lack of hearing it drives me :mad: And in our little group on Halloween when my Son said thankyou, most of the time he got extra sweets for it, his other little school friends soon cottoned on to it and it was loud thankyous all round :) so the Americans like to hear it, then why is it not more instilled in to there vocabulary.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I hear please and thankyou's a lot here in the south, from kids and adults.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I must admit to hearing it far more when we lived in Ohio, but these parts very distinct lack of.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I hear it a lot ..mostly in the phrase ... "Please don't shoot me"

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I didn't know that squirrels could talk.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Its usually Sanchez.... when he want a pay rise ....

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

No, all (and I mean ALL) the Canadian kids I know have excellent manners (better than the Brits I think)

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I've found it to be a regional, as well as a generational, issue. Today's young people appear not to have learned social graces from their parents. As such it would almost appear on the surface as if they expect anything that is done for them to be their right and not a courteous action by the giver. Of course, there are exceptions and I many young people in the NE who are polite, respectful and courteous.

My son-in-law was born and rasied in the south and he is very polite as are his young nieces and nephews that I've had the pleasure of meeting. When he married my daughter I asked him to please free feel to call me Rita or Mom or even Mrs. Wilson rather than Ma'm. He apologized but said it was how he was raised and he would uncomfortable calling me by my first name and that using my surname is too formal.

My Canadian husband noted the same observation you have years ago and as he works in a middle school, he makes it a point to teach manners to the children, i.e. hats are to be removed when inside a building (has politely asked mothers and fathers to remove their ball caps as well), no running in the halls, to say please, thank you, and you're welcome when asking for or receiving something from another person, even another child. He says it is working and often parents will stop him and thank him for his efforts.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

And "yes ma'am" and "yes sir"

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Yes, I think more down south they are much more polite with all the sirs etc. Not being brought up to say no sir every 2 mins, I do have a hard time remembering to do it when round those people. :o

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Me too. I think it's a cultural difference, being brought up with the mantra "I want never gets", it grates when you hear it, although in most instances they don't mean to be rude.

Some people do take it to the extreme though. Several times when picking up a takeaway from the chinese, I have noticed some people picking up orders won't give them the time of day. The person behind the counter is always very friendly, but some people just talk right over her, blurt out their order number and almost throw the money at them in contempt before storming out.

Another one that kills me is the people who cannot be arsed to hang up their cell phones at checkouts and when ordering food. Thats one thing I've got to give credit to our local post office for - there is a sign that says if you are blabbing on your phone when you come to the counter, you'll go to the back of the line! :)

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I noticed how few children said "Thank you" when they were on our doorstep collecting Hallowe'en candy. :(

People can be quite rude here in the NY metro area. In fact, the rudest person I've encountered is my friend's boyfriend - aged 34 and a former schoolteacher.

He almost never says a greeting - if he does it's just "Hey" and it's only if we say a greeting to him first. On a number of occasions if we are out and he and my friend get into a taxi or they get off the train a couple of stops before us, my friend says 'goodbye' and he says nothing at all! (She has pulled him up about it too). How bloody rude!

I've noticed that he's like that with other people too...I don't know if it's arrogance or the way he was brought up (parents were Ukrainian immigrants, also teachers). :confused: :mad:

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

My parents were here recently and my mam noticed that noone says 'goodbye' to the assistants who work in shops, despite all the greetings exchanged when you enter. She does it out of politeness all the time and wondered if she was actually offending people here by saying it!

Whenever I say goodbye to someone, particularly on the telephone, it's usually replied to with a sort of 'mmm mmm' kind of sound..

As for the "Give me a..." instead of "I would like..." or "please could I have..." it's probably caused by the 'to go' mentality, ordering something 'to go' whilst yapping on the phone. The students here are particularly bad in this respect and they probably hate me for being civil, polite and exchanging time-wasting small talk with the person pouring my coffee.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Transaction completed...no need for further phony friendlyness!!!

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Do we really think that children in the UK have manners? I think there will always be well and ill mannered children where ever you go. I must say though that here in Texas the VAST majorty of kids and 'youths' are very well mannered (if not using please and thank you still polite) from all walks of life.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

All the kids I know call me Mr Ray ...........

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I think it's just in her nature. She grew up in working-class Sunderland where you were given a clip round the ear with a coal scuttle if you weren't polite and well-behaved.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I was thinking more from the point of view of the shop assistant:)

"have a nice day"

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Very true. Some of the kids hanging around on street corners in the UK are terrible.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

And my Parents generation said the same thing about my generation :rolleyes: and so it go's on.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Never happens in Canada..all the kids are at the arena beating the crap out of each other. Hockey...its like a religion, only its taken really seriously here!


Seriously though, give kids something to do and they dont hang around on street corners...its not entirely the kids fault!

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

If my daughters have any friends over they usually warn them that 'please' and 'thankyous' go along way in our house. If they forget to tell them. I make sure I do.

If they are in my house, they abide by my rules.

I must say I don't like the 'sure' and 'i dunnow' answers.

"would you like a drink?"
"sure" or "I dunnow"

If I get these I usually reply, "it's not a hard question", "either, yes please, or no thankyou"

I find the boys politer than the girls here, I often hear a 'sir' or 'mam', from them and i don't think I ever heard that in the UK

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

My Wife and I are drilling manners into our Boys.
Recently, I have been training them to eat with a knife and fork also.

We get comments from people over the manners and it just warms the cockles of yer 'eart. :D

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Generally, haven't noticed to many people saying please and thank you, but a lot of the trick or treaters that came with parents, the parents did tell the kids to say thank you, well not all, but a fair few.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Murecan kids say more "yes sir....no Ma'am", rather than please and thank you....it blighty kids say "wot you lookin at yer ****** ponce"

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

The kids that come are reasonably polite - they just see "sure" or "I'll take a Coke" as a legitmate answer to "would you like a drink?"

I sometimes find Americans rude when they are ordering food but some of it is the difficulty of making oneself understood to assistants with no English. I am having to learn how to bawl out the order with multiple hand gestures too.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Yes, I've noticed a lot of rudeness, lack of please & thank you, saying 'I need...', 'Give me a...' & I can't stand it.

I also hate the way some people don't even say 'Bye' on the phone, they just put it down. This last one I've noticed happens here, but it never happened to me back home. I did notice it in US TV programmes & films, but disregarded it as a made up Hollywood thing, but it's not. Has anyone else noticed this very strange behaviour?

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Tuesday night, the 12 year old was playing a football match, it was a chilly night, I goes off for a piss at half time, bunch of 8th graders standing around by the crapper door trying to get some sort of shelter from the cold north wind.

My first reaction was "oh f@ck, here we go getting ready for a barrage of abuse...instead one lad held the door open for me...the 2nd lad said "sir I believe someone is using the restroom"...and we all started chatting about the game...they were VERY polite and respectful.

Back in Blighty they would of jumped me and stole me f@cking wallet.

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

My own observation from several visits to the UK, is that Americans in general are just not as polite as people from the British isles. Maybe it's all the space Americans have to be obnoxious without as easily offending as they might on a smaller area of land, like an island. It reminds me of Oscar Wilde's remark that America was the only place that had gone from barbarism to decadence without an intervening civilization. Thanks for being here, British people and others from the UK--we obviously need you! :)

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Definitely a British thing.. Having lived in the UK for many years now when I go back to Spain I say please and thank you a lot myself and I think I sound really silly.. people there only say thank you when they really mean it, not on every other sentence.

For Brits to say thank you is a bit like for Americans to say "have a nice day", 99% of the time they don't mean it, it is simply a manner of speaking, they obviously don't care if you have a nice day or not..

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

On the whole most Americans I have met through work have been very polite...and I love it when they call me ma'am...tee hee... :D

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

When I say thanx, I mean it, unless it's followed by...for nothing! :D

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

It can be quite amusing during a simple purchasd in WH Smiths or somewhere to be saying "thanks" at each point of the transaction

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

Sometimes they even say Miss :)

Re: Please and thankyou.. a British thing?
 

I love it when the kids call me Miss Liz.