Playing with your food Legal definition
Aug 23rd 2005, 6:51 pm
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Playing with your food Legal definition
Playing with your food is actually the name given to two completely different offences. They are defined in law as:
1) Any act committed by a minor, whereby, in order to delay, refuse, or to instigate negotiations as to cessation of meals earlier than the parent/guardian would so desire, food is moved around the plate in a disdainful or casual manner. This incorperates; arranging smiley faces using sausages and eggs, making mountains from mashed potato, writing rude words using alphabetti spaghetti or any other act whereby the food is manipulated in a manner not conducive to speedy eating. The maximum penalty for this offence shall be either a custodial period of early to bed for one night, or the removal of ice cream/jelly privalages for the aforementioned meal.
2) The second and more heinous crime of; Playing with one's food in a manner likely to cause distress, comprises the willful overdressing or excessive flavouring of any meal prepared in the UK (not including the Channel Islands), or serving to one of her brittanic majesty's subjects currently residing in any of the previously pink parts of the globe formerly known as 'The Empire' a meal not prepared in a bland and uninteresting manner so as to overexcite the expatriate and promote the secondary offence of 'Going Native'. Playing with one's food in a manner likely to cause distress, includes; the use of garlic on or in anything, too much pepper in soup, the mixing of different things during the cooking process, serving meat with any trace of pink remaining, serving vegetables with any crunch or texture other than that of slime, the use of any spice apart from mixed spice in cakes and fruit loaves (see amendment 13.2.12.a sub 3b para 4), using 'curry powder', using strange vegetables such as peppers, aubergines, courgettes and artichokes, preparing potatoes using any ingredient other than salt, water or oil, serving pasta, using rice for anything other than rice pudding (see 13.43.4 sec 15 sub 13.2 para 3 as amended 17/03/1944 and as amended 23/09/1967) or generally introducing foreign cooking methods such as stir frying, barbecueing or marinading. The maximum penalty for any such an offence shall not exceed: Death by hanging, banishment to one of the colonies or forfeiture of all goods/chattels and properties.
1) Any act committed by a minor, whereby, in order to delay, refuse, or to instigate negotiations as to cessation of meals earlier than the parent/guardian would so desire, food is moved around the plate in a disdainful or casual manner. This incorperates; arranging smiley faces using sausages and eggs, making mountains from mashed potato, writing rude words using alphabetti spaghetti or any other act whereby the food is manipulated in a manner not conducive to speedy eating. The maximum penalty for this offence shall be either a custodial period of early to bed for one night, or the removal of ice cream/jelly privalages for the aforementioned meal.
2) The second and more heinous crime of; Playing with one's food in a manner likely to cause distress, comprises the willful overdressing or excessive flavouring of any meal prepared in the UK (not including the Channel Islands), or serving to one of her brittanic majesty's subjects currently residing in any of the previously pink parts of the globe formerly known as 'The Empire' a meal not prepared in a bland and uninteresting manner so as to overexcite the expatriate and promote the secondary offence of 'Going Native'. Playing with one's food in a manner likely to cause distress, includes; the use of garlic on or in anything, too much pepper in soup, the mixing of different things during the cooking process, serving meat with any trace of pink remaining, serving vegetables with any crunch or texture other than that of slime, the use of any spice apart from mixed spice in cakes and fruit loaves (see amendment 13.2.12.a sub 3b para 4), using 'curry powder', using strange vegetables such as peppers, aubergines, courgettes and artichokes, preparing potatoes using any ingredient other than salt, water or oil, serving pasta, using rice for anything other than rice pudding (see 13.43.4 sec 15 sub 13.2 para 3 as amended 17/03/1944 and as amended 23/09/1967) or generally introducing foreign cooking methods such as stir frying, barbecueing or marinading. The maximum penalty for any such an offence shall not exceed: Death by hanging, banishment to one of the colonies or forfeiture of all goods/chattels and properties.
