'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
Jan 22nd 2007, 11:55 pm
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,848
'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
I heard an interesting discussion on the radio the other day about the organisers of a movement called "Birthdays Without Pressure". They're aiming to stop the madness of one-upmanship amongst parents and (precocious) children with OTT expectations and gifts.
My friend was telling me how hellish it is with children these days because of conforming with the norms amongst the peer group at her daughter's school. She spent a lot of money to bring in 'the lizard guy' with his exotic reptiles - for her daughter's birthday to entertain the children, then she complained about having to provide goody bags afterwards. She thought it odd that over here the parents don't seem to want to drop off their children and collect them later, they want to stay at the child's birthday party as well!
When I was a child we would just have the neighbouring kids round and perhaps a couple of cousins (none of this inviting the whole class!). My mum would make sandwiches, fairy cakes, jelly & ice-cream and there would be a birthday cake too. I was lucky to be born in the Summer so we would just often play games in the garden, but still remember playing 'pass the parcel', 'pin the tail on the donkey' etc. and had a great time. How times have changed...
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com/quotes.html
When my son was 13 and we had moved to the US he was invited to a lot of bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. The invitations were elaborate - just like wedding invitations and some of the parties were held in some very posh locations - it must have cost the parents a fortune, quite possibly as much as a wedding.
My son received invitations from kids he didn't even know (even he cynically wondered if it was to procure a nice gift!). One boy received a cheque for $30,000 from his uncle....
My friend was telling me how hellish it is with children these days because of conforming with the norms amongst the peer group at her daughter's school. She spent a lot of money to bring in 'the lizard guy' with his exotic reptiles - for her daughter's birthday to entertain the children, then she complained about having to provide goody bags afterwards. She thought it odd that over here the parents don't seem to want to drop off their children and collect them later, they want to stay at the child's birthday party as well!
When I was a child we would just have the neighbouring kids round and perhaps a couple of cousins (none of this inviting the whole class!). My mum would make sandwiches, fairy cakes, jelly & ice-cream and there would be a birthday cake too. I was lucky to be born in the Summer so we would just often play games in the garden, but still remember playing 'pass the parcel', 'pin the tail on the donkey' etc. and had a great time. How times have changed...
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com/quotes.html
When my son was 13 and we had moved to the US he was invited to a lot of bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. The invitations were elaborate - just like wedding invitations and some of the parties were held in some very posh locations - it must have cost the parents a fortune, quite possibly as much as a wedding.
My son received invitations from kids he didn't even know (even he cynically wondered if it was to procure a nice gift!). One boy received a cheque for $30,000 from his uncle....
Jan 23rd 2007, 12:00 am
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Beyond the Pale
Posts: 963
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
I heard an interesting discussion on the radio the other day about the organisers of a movement called "Birthdays Without Pressure". They're aiming to stop the madness of one-upmanship amongst parents and (precocious) children with OTT expectations and gifts.
My friend was telling me how hellish it is with children these days because of conforming with the norms amongst the peer group at her daughter's school. She spent a lot of money to bring in 'the lizard guy' with his exotic reptiles - for her daughter's birthday to entertain the children, then she complained about having to provide goody bags afterwards. She thought it odd that over here the parents don't seem to want to drop off their children and collect them later, they want to stay at the child's birthday party as well!
When I was a child we would just have the neighbouring kids round and perhaps a couple of cousins (none of this inviting the whole class!). My mum would make sandwiches, fairy cakes, jelly & ice-cream and there would be a birthday cake too. I was lucky to be born in the Summer so we would just often play games in the garden, but still remember playing 'pass the parcel', 'pin the tail on the donkey' etc. and had a great time. How times have changed...
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com/quotes.html
When my son was 13 and we had moved to the US he was invited to a lot of bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. The invitations were elaborate - just like wedding invitations and some of the parties were held in some very posh locations - it must have cost the parents a fortune, quite possibly as much as a wedding.
My son received invitations from kids he didn't even know (even he cynically wondered if it was to procure a nice gift!). One boy received a cheque for $30,000 from his uncle....
My friend was telling me how hellish it is with children these days because of conforming with the norms amongst the peer group at her daughter's school. She spent a lot of money to bring in 'the lizard guy' with his exotic reptiles - for her daughter's birthday to entertain the children, then she complained about having to provide goody bags afterwards. She thought it odd that over here the parents don't seem to want to drop off their children and collect them later, they want to stay at the child's birthday party as well!
When I was a child we would just have the neighbouring kids round and perhaps a couple of cousins (none of this inviting the whole class!). My mum would make sandwiches, fairy cakes, jelly & ice-cream and there would be a birthday cake too. I was lucky to be born in the Summer so we would just often play games in the garden, but still remember playing 'pass the parcel', 'pin the tail on the donkey' etc. and had a great time. How times have changed...
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com/quotes.html
When my son was 13 and we had moved to the US he was invited to a lot of bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. The invitations were elaborate - just like wedding invitations and some of the parties were held in some very posh locations - it must have cost the parents a fortune, quite possibly as much as a wedding.
My son received invitations from kids he didn't even know (even he cynically wondered if it was to procure a nice gift!). One boy received a cheque for $30,000 from his uncle....
I want to be her friend
Jan 23rd 2007, 12:52 am
#3
Not living a 9 to 5 life
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,061
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
I heard an interesting discussion on the radio the other day about the organisers of a movement called "Birthdays Without Pressure". They're aiming to stop the madness of one-upmanship amongst parents and (precocious) children with OTT expectations and gifts.
My friend was telling me how hellish it is with children these days because of conforming with the norms amongst the peer group at her daughter's school. She spent a lot of money to bring in 'the lizard guy' with his exotic reptiles - for her daughter's birthday to entertain the children, then she complained about having to provide goody bags afterwards. She thought it odd that over here the parents don't seem to want to drop off their children and collect them later, they want to stay at the child's birthday party as well!
When I was a child we would just have the neighbouring kids round and perhaps a couple of cousins (none of this inviting the whole class!). My mum would make sandwiches, fairy cakes, jelly & ice-cream and there would be a birthday cake too. I was lucky to be born in the Summer so we would just often play games in the garden, but still remember playing 'pass the parcel', 'pin the tail on the donkey' etc. and had a great time. How times have changed...
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com/quotes.html
When my son was 13 and we had moved to the US he was invited to a lot of bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. The invitations were elaborate - just like wedding invitations and some of the parties were held in some very posh locations - it must have cost the parents a fortune, quite possibly as much as a wedding.
My son received invitations from kids he didn't even know (even he cynically wondered if it was to procure a nice gift!). One boy received a cheque for $30,000 from his uncle....
My friend was telling me how hellish it is with children these days because of conforming with the norms amongst the peer group at her daughter's school. She spent a lot of money to bring in 'the lizard guy' with his exotic reptiles - for her daughter's birthday to entertain the children, then she complained about having to provide goody bags afterwards. She thought it odd that over here the parents don't seem to want to drop off their children and collect them later, they want to stay at the child's birthday party as well!
When I was a child we would just have the neighbouring kids round and perhaps a couple of cousins (none of this inviting the whole class!). My mum would make sandwiches, fairy cakes, jelly & ice-cream and there would be a birthday cake too. I was lucky to be born in the Summer so we would just often play games in the garden, but still remember playing 'pass the parcel', 'pin the tail on the donkey' etc. and had a great time. How times have changed...
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com/quotes.html
When my son was 13 and we had moved to the US he was invited to a lot of bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. The invitations were elaborate - just like wedding invitations and some of the parties were held in some very posh locations - it must have cost the parents a fortune, quite possibly as much as a wedding.
My son received invitations from kids he didn't even know (even he cynically wondered if it was to procure a nice gift!). One boy received a cheque for $30,000 from his uncle....
NC Penguin
Jan 23rd 2007, 1:46 am
#4
who turned out the light?
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: WA
Posts: 7,997
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
I saw that, it was on Opera 
Can't believe the idiots out there
Unless of course they are all Godfather families and you give generously in case you're killed
Can't believe the idiots out there
Unless of course they are all Godfather families and you give generously in case you're killed
Jan 23rd 2007, 4:42 am
#5
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
I have noticed that the booze bill is a lot lot higher for the 7 year old, the 5 year must hang out with teetotallers. The 3 year old is a bit young to have accumulated a circle yet so we will have to wait and see.
Jan 23rd 2007, 5:36 am
#6
who turned out the light?
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: WA
Posts: 7,997
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
We do not have that big a problem, but as a matter of principal I would never do something I was not happy with to keep up with the Joneses.
I have noticed that the booze bill is a lot lot higher for the 7 year old, the 5 year must hang out with teetotallers. The 3 year old is a bit young to have accumulated a circle yet so we will have to wait and see.
I have noticed that the booze bill is a lot lot higher for the 7 year old, the 5 year must hang out with teetotallers. The 3 year old is a bit young to have accumulated a circle yet so we will have to wait and see.
And my spelling is dreadful I obviously meant to say Oprah!!
Jan 23rd 2007, 10:57 am
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,264
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
Either it's just an NYC, LA type thing or we don't know many 'well off' people 'cause the birthday parties around here aren't like that. My 11 yr old has been helping her friend plan her 12th birthday party which will be a sleep over with a friends and some DVDs. And most of the parties my 5 yr old has been to have been Chuck E Cheese's or similar.
Jan 23rd 2007, 11:52 am
#8
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 34
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
Either it's just an NYC, LA type thing or we don't know many 'well off' people 'cause the birthday parties around here aren't like that. My 11 yr old has been helping her friend plan her 12th birthday party which will be a sleep over with a friends and some DVDs. And most of the parties my 5 yr old has been to have been Chuck E Cheese's or similar.
Or is that just me?
Jan 23rd 2007, 12:05 pm
#9
Who?
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Stepford
Posts: 3,098
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
It's much the same here as it was in the UK. Ordinary parties with sleepovers or the cinema. There is a general rule of no more than $15/20 for the gift and the goody bags just have sweets and some cake.
I was surprised as I had read that US parties were horrendously expensive things.
We are going to our first Bat Mitzvah on Saturday....not quite sure what to expect but we are not buying anything expensive.
I was surprised as I had read that US parties were horrendously expensive things.
We are going to our first Bat Mitzvah on Saturday....not quite sure what to expect but we are not buying anything expensive.
Jan 23rd 2007, 12:55 pm
#10
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,272
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
It's pretty much the same in central NJ as back in England. One or two parents do like to go over the top but most parties are pretty much the same.
My daughter celebrated her 10th birthday this weekend and had a sleepover for 8 girls. They had pizza, chicken nuggets, mozzarella sticks and fries and the cake was a lovely chocolate cookie cake from Wegmans. They all had a great time painting their nails, watching DVDs, listening and dancing to music and just doing their own thing.
Total cost of the sleepover = about $150 (and lack of sleep).
My daughter celebrated her 10th birthday this weekend and had a sleepover for 8 girls. They had pizza, chicken nuggets, mozzarella sticks and fries and the cake was a lovely chocolate cookie cake from Wegmans. They all had a great time painting their nails, watching DVDs, listening and dancing to music and just doing their own thing.
Total cost of the sleepover = about $150 (and lack of sleep).
Jan 23rd 2007, 1:41 pm
#11
Powder Maggot
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Nuevo Mexico
Posts: 4,452
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
Well, you can't buy culture, can you? One of the nicest things I went to last years was a Chi Dlo Dil - Navajo laughing baby party. The first person to make a baby laugh throws the party and becomes an important person in that child's life as they have helped the child find his spirit, and with it the ability of the child to interact and give of himself to others. It's a simple ceremony with a meal - each person thanks the baby for the gift of the meal and accepts salt from the baby as a continuation of the gift. Interesting contrast to the overblown birthday party.
Jan 23rd 2007, 2:01 pm
#12
Slight chance of Showers
Joined: May 2006
Location: Norfolk,UK ->Memphis,TN
Posts: 1,158
Re: 'Out of Control' Birthday Parties
I heard an interesting discussion on the radio the other day about the organisers of a movement called "Birthdays Without Pressure". They're aiming to stop the madness of one-upmanship amongst parents and (precocious) children with OTT expectations and gifts.
My friend was telling me how hellish it is with children these days because of conforming with the norms amongst the peer group at her daughter's school. She spent a lot of money to bring in 'the lizard guy' with his exotic reptiles - for her daughter's birthday to entertain the children, then she complained about having to provide goody bags afterwards. She thought it odd that over here the parents don't seem to want to drop off their children and collect them later, they want to stay at the child's birthday party as well!
When I was a child we would just have the neighbouring kids round and perhaps a couple of cousins (none of this inviting the whole class!). My mum would make sandwiches, fairy cakes, jelly & ice-cream and there would be a birthday cake too. I was lucky to be born in the Summer so we would just often play games in the garden, but still remember playing 'pass the parcel', 'pin the tail on the donkey' etc. and had a great time. How times have changed...
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com/quotes.html
When my son was 13 and we had moved to the US he was invited to a lot of bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. The invitations were elaborate - just like wedding invitations and some of the parties were held in some very posh locations - it must have cost the parents a fortune, quite possibly as much as a wedding.
My son received invitations from kids he didn't even know (even he cynically wondered if it was to procure a nice gift!). One boy received a cheque for $30,000 from his uncle....
My friend was telling me how hellish it is with children these days because of conforming with the norms amongst the peer group at her daughter's school. She spent a lot of money to bring in 'the lizard guy' with his exotic reptiles - for her daughter's birthday to entertain the children, then she complained about having to provide goody bags afterwards. She thought it odd that over here the parents don't seem to want to drop off their children and collect them later, they want to stay at the child's birthday party as well!
When I was a child we would just have the neighbouring kids round and perhaps a couple of cousins (none of this inviting the whole class!). My mum would make sandwiches, fairy cakes, jelly & ice-cream and there would be a birthday cake too. I was lucky to be born in the Summer so we would just often play games in the garden, but still remember playing 'pass the parcel', 'pin the tail on the donkey' etc. and had a great time. How times have changed...
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.com/quotes.html
When my son was 13 and we had moved to the US he was invited to a lot of bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. The invitations were elaborate - just like wedding invitations and some of the parties were held in some very posh locations - it must have cost the parents a fortune, quite possibly as much as a wedding.
My son received invitations from kids he didn't even know (even he cynically wondered if it was to procure a nice gift!). One boy received a cheque for $30,000 from his uncle....
It's all part of the problem with the "classless" US society and social climbing/standing. MTV had a show about this kinda stuff where parents would through parties for their kids and spend more cash than the average person earns in a year. You then see the stuck up brats get mad because they only got the 2nd best Mercedes and not the top of the line one.
