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Nothing in Common Anymore

Nothing in Common Anymore

Old Aug 23rd 2010, 5:40 pm
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Default Nothing in Common Anymore

Long time members know that I'm not overtly sentimental about stuff... but I've been thinking about something for a few months now.

In May this year, I attended my high school's 50th anniversary... the school was built in 1960... I graduated in 1972. I hadn't been in the school for probably 35 years and it was really nice to see that it was largely as I remembered it. On the Saturday evening, there was a reunion of just about everyone who attended the school over the years - and it was nice to chat with a few of my former friends. On more than one occasion, we exchanged email addresses with a promise to stay in touch.

When I got back to my mom's house that evening, I was a bit sad... because, as excited as I was to see people, I came to realize that I no longer had anything in common with them; we had all gone our separate ways. I also learned that my best friend during those years had died of heart failure in 1994 at age 40 - but that's really secondary to the sense of not knowing these people any more.

I guess this post was triggered by a similar post about returning to the UK... but I never thought there'd come a time when that would apply to me.

Ian
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 5:46 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Originally Posted by ian-mstm View Post
Long time members know that I'm not overtly sentimental about stuff... but I've been thinking about something for a few months now.

In May this year, I attended my high school's 50th anniversary... the school was built in 1960... I graduated in 1972. I hadn't been in the school for probably 35 years and it was really nice to see that it was largely as I remembered it. On the Saturday evening, there was a reunion of just about everyone who attended the school over the years - and it was nice to chat with a few of my former friends. On more than one occasion, we exchanged email addresses with a promise to stay in touch.

When I got back to my mom's house that evening, I was a bit sad... because, as excited as I was to see people, I came to realize that I no longer had anything in common with them; we had all gone our separate ways. I also learned that my best friend during those years had died of heart failure in 1994 at age 40 - but that's really secondary to the sense of not knowing these people any more.

I guess this post was triggered by a similar post about returning to the UK... but I never thought there'd come a time when that would apply to me.

Ian
That's a shame. I recently rekindled contact with an old school friend and one from university, I was surprised that I still felt an easy connection with them both.
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 6:25 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Next year will be 15yrs since I graduated from high school. I only talk to two people from my time in school, one of them is my current best friend. I had nothing in common with 99% of them then, and I highly doubt I'd have anything in common with them now.
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 6:38 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Originally Posted by ian-mstm View Post
Long time members know that I'm not overtly sentimental about stuff... but I've been thinking about something for a few months now.

In May this year, I attended my high school's 50th anniversary... the school was built in 1960... I graduated in 1972. I hadn't been in the school for probably 35 years and it was really nice to see that it was largely as I remembered it. On the Saturday evening, there was a reunion of just about everyone who attended the school over the years - and it was nice to chat with a few of my former friends. On more than one occasion, we exchanged email addresses with a promise to stay in touch.

When I got back to my mom's house that evening, I was a bit sad... because, as excited as I was to see people, I came to realize that I no longer had anything in common with them; we had all gone our separate ways. I also learned that my best friend during those years had died of heart failure in 1994 at age 40 - but that's really secondary to the sense of not knowing these people any more.

I guess this post was triggered by a similar post about returning to the UK... but I never thought there'd come a time when that would apply to me.

Ian
As a teacher, I constantly reminded myself that I was teaching the full breadth of tomorrow's society - the doctors, bin-men, rock stars, criminals, entrepeneurs, etc., etc. Having taught the gamut from pre-K to university, I think our differences increase as we get older, and we change in ways we never expected and couldn't predict. I can understand how you'd feel you have nothing in common with your old school mates, but logic doesn't cover the surprise we can feel in those situations.

I don't keep in touch with anyone I went to school with (except my brother, of course ) and don't really have any desire to find out whether we have anything in common these days. I'd rather just keep my memories than mess my head up by reinforcing the fact they are 35 years old.
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 6:44 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Originally Posted by Sally Redux View Post
That's a shame. I recently rekindled contact with an old school friend and one from university, I was surprised that I still felt an easy connection with them both.
Ditto for me with two neighbours I went to school with that I reestablished contact with after 35 years. We actually all met up in England earlier this year and I was amazed that we still had a strong common bond between us even though all three of our lives have taken radically different directions during that time period.
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 6:44 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Originally Posted by ian-mstm View Post
In May this year, I attended my high school's 50th anniversary... the school was built in 1960... I graduated in 1972. Ian

1972 plus 50 = 2022

Believe it was your 38th yr anni there Ian. Oops sorry it was the building's anni not yours.

I graduated in 1966 and we had our 40th in 2006. Yup, not much in common any longer but what turned out nice was that I became involved in the planning and execution of the reunion and made fast friends with people I never associated with in high school. 4 years later we still get together once a month.
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 7:19 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Originally Posted by sunflwrgrl13 View Post
I only talk to two people from my time in school, one of them is my current best friend. I had nothing in common with 99% of them then, and I highly doubt I'd have anything in common with them now.
I feel the same way -- I am in contact with four people from childhood/teen years. One is my best friend from "up the street," one was my best friend in junior school, one my best friend in grammar school, and one went into the same profession as me and we connected through that after school. The rest I would have no more interest in now than I did then!
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 7:23 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
1972 plus 50 = 2022

Believe it was your 38th yr anni there Ian. Oops sorry it was the building's anni not yours.

I graduated in 1966 and we had our 40th in 2006. Yup, not much in common any longer but what turned out nice was that I became involved in the planning and execution of the reunion and made fast friends with people I never associated with in high school. 4 years later we still get together once a month.
Thats what he said
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 9:11 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Hmmmm....I don't keep regular contact with school friends, say hi on FB and stuff, only one came to my wedding and I'd love to go to a mates, but airfares for 2 would cost more than our wedding so that's unlikely.

Found out through the grapevine about folks in my high school year that one has died in a car crash, two are in prison, 3 are living in the US, 1 in the Netherlands and one in S.K.
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 9:59 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Originally Posted by sunflwrgrl13 View Post
Next year will be 15yrs since I graduated from high school. I only talk to two people from my time in school, one of them is my current best friend. I had nothing in common with 99% of them then, and I highly doubt I'd have anything in common with them now.
My experience is just like yours. I only had a few friends from high school (graduating class of 1977), and I'm still best friends with one of them, and in touch now and then with 2 others. Other than that, I was never popular in high school and never had anything in common with anyone even back then. I went to two class reunions (10-year and 30-year). The 10-year one was fun, because I had changed a lot and it was a new experience for me to be more "popular". But the 30-year one was BORING.

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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 11:05 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

I only graduated from school in 2007 and already I've drifted from one of my very very good friends. We used to be an extraordinary double act in philosophy class and I think he grew up. He went to university and became serious about philosophy, he even has curly philosophical preppy hair now. I went to university and decided if a question doesn't have an answer then it's a load of rubbish. I gave up all non-sciences at 16, except history. We both grew up, we needed to really, but up and apart in different directions as (almost) adults. It was just weird to see each other a couple of years later and have very little in common.

I guess the things that you laugh about, care about and have an interest in are different when you're 14-16 than when you're 20-22. It sure does make me feel old.
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 11:15 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Originally Posted by chrisbeale View Post
I guess the things that you laugh about, care about and have an interest in are different when you're 14-16 than when you're 20-22. It sure does make me feel old.
Wait another 10yrs and see just how old you feel then!
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 11:24 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Originally Posted by chrisbeale View Post
I only graduated from school in 2007 and already I've drifted from one of my very very good friends. We used to be an extraordinary double act in philosophy class and I think he grew up. He went to university and became serious about philosophy, he even has curly philosophical preppy hair now. I went to university and decided if a question doesn't have an answer then it's a load of rubbish. I gave up all non-sciences at 16, except history. We both grew up, we needed to really, but up and apart in different directions as (almost) adults. It was just weird to see each other a couple of years later and have very little in common.

I guess the things that you laugh about, care about and have an interest in are different when you're 14-16 than when you're 20-22. It sure does make me feel old.
By the time you're my age* you might rediscover the connection.
























*26

Last edited by Sally Redux; Aug 23rd 2010 at 11:28 pm.
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Old Aug 23rd 2010, 11:42 pm
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

Maybe! I suppose it's just about seperating the acquaintances from the real friends, you're bound to make friends with people who you spend a lot of time with, and you're bound to not be so connected when you're hundreds of miles apart. Who knows? It sure did make Thursday afternoons memorising Luke's Gospel more interesting. That was more of the Religious Studies part but o well, still dull.
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Old Aug 24th 2010, 12:49 am
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Default Re: Nothing in Common Anymore

We were like 15 of us, real tight bunch of friends. I have been in touch with 3 of them ever since.

For the once I have been in touch with, I have lots of things to talk about. So I guess it just means (for me) that the farther away you go and out of touch you are, the lesser of a conversation you can build.
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