SecretGarden

Again, I don't understand why you would rely on email to invite them to something that is obviously important to you. We have email glitches ALL the time at my house and I would never rely on it for anything other than casual messages. It's also possible that someone in the household for which the email was not intended opened it, read it, and deleted it. This has happened to me with email and phone messages thanks to my 13 year old son.

Too unreliable. Don't make problems where it's likely none exist. Just pick up the phone and try again. It's more than likely not a big deal at all.

~SG

Irn-bru

If they 1st invited you by e-mail then obviously that correspondence is OK, but if you have a phone no I would try that.
How much time did they give you, and did they ask you to reply to their e-mail?
I don't think a 2nd e-mail/ phone call would be inappropriate saying you understand it's short notice etc. Probably one of them might have thought the other replied etc and it's just an oversight or misunderstanding.

Kate2112

Call them it will put your mind to rest and perhaps give short notice invitations by telephone in the future, its a lot more personal

Bob

RSVP....doesn't happen much, certainly if people can't make it...but it's not the case with everyone.

Elvira

I have heard/read more than once that a lot of Americans think that RSVP means you only have to respond if you are planning to go!!!

SecretGarden

Only the ones with no manners.

~SG

TruBrit

seriously you've got to be kidding

that's a new one on me however it explains a lot.

Lord Lionheart

Just smash all their windows and put dog shit through their letterbox and have done with it once and for all................... it's probably for the best, they probably thought you were a swinging European couple inviting them over for champagne FFS.

SecretGarden

It simply means that some people have no manners. I don't believe for a minute that a large proportion of Americans don't understand what RSVP means or think that they only have to respond if they are planning to go.

Now, that said, I HAVE seen on invitations the wording "Regrets Only" with the host's telephone number. That means that you only need to respond if you are NOT planning to attend.

I think if the OP just picked up the phone this would be a done deal.....
~SG

Dan725

Unexpectedly pop round for a cuppa, and invite them then!

As regards getting the run around, I find it to be fairly normal here with people who are not friends. Include prospective employers, business contacts, and any form of customer service related to anything you have bought. Not replying does not seem to be in the bad manners book here as far as I can see. It really annoys me too, but its the way it is here.

Elvira

"...........hosts often do not receive firm indications whether guests plan to attend their parties, even if R.S.V.P. is clearly printed on the invitation.........."

http://entertaining.about.com/cs/eti.../tip122500.htm

angelman

I used to hold house parties all the time in London. I would just phone up a bunch of people a week or so before. They would all bring friends and we would have a great time with much drinking and dancing.
I tried the same thing here and was astonished at the responses. What should I wear, What food will br provided, will there be valet parking, only two week notice sorry thats not enough, two weeks notice - ask us in a week or so we dont know.

In the end a few people come and despite me telling them all verbally to please bring friends with them nobody did. I asked them why and they all said "oh we didnt realise, we thought it would be impolite, it didnt say to do so in the invitation". People seem very stiff and formal when doing parties here. People seem to have no idea of spontanaeity here I find. Everything has to be planned out and very formal. Yet if you do that people often cancel at the last minute or just dont bother turning up at all, usually with some amazingly weak excuse.
In LA its terrible because nobody is prepared to drive more than 5 minutes for anything anyway. I drive all over the city to different events but my friends wont even go down the block.. dont get me started on my mother in law who lives just 20 minutes away either!grrrr

SecretGarden

Certainly you don't think that just because it says so in this article it is gospel? I'd be willing to bet that the people in the social circles in which you travel certainly understand what it means to RSVP. If they don't respond, (and no extenuating circumstances exist,) then they lack in manners and respect for the plans of other people.

The writer says it's a "growing problem"---I have not found that to be the case with the people with whom I would socialize. Bad manners exist everywhere, but I don't think that the OPs friend is necessarily an example. Invitations get lost in the mail, phone messages get erased, and yes, emails don't arrive or get deleted.

All he has to do is call, not put himself in a such quandry over the reasons why.

~SG

SecretGarden

valet parking???? Christ on a bike. Who are your friends? I would assume people who would ask about the availability of valet parking would have VERY busy schedules and two weeks' notice might not be enough for them.

~SG

Irn-bru

That's what I was thinking, mine usually ask one cheese ball or two