Jb3

Hi I am looking for advice please, my Husband has been offered the opportunity to transfer to his company's New York office from London at the end of the year. He is keen to take the opportunity, I am not sure at the moment. They would sort out visas etc for him, me and our 2 children. I believe health insurance would be sorted too and they would help us find somewhere to rent initially.

My children are 8&5 - im aware the school systems are different but not sure by how much. My 8yo is being assessed for Aspergers - he does not yet have a diagnosis and is very high functioning above average intelligence, his issues are social related and anxiety. He is prescribed melatonin to help him sleep, besides that he receives no other medication or funding from the state, we don't receive any benefits for him other than child benefit - if he receives the diagnosis would this affect our application for visas or his schooling? How would we get melatonin prescribed or would that not be possible?

I am a Montessori teacher and know there are Montessori schools and preschools in New York so I would hopefully be able to find work. Although if the hours don't fit around my children's school what is childcare like, what facilities are available?

Lastly we are trying for another baby at the moment if I have had a baby before the move, what is post maternity care like and do they have similar to health visitors? If I have not already had baby and was pregnant when moving how would I arrange maternity services? I would need csection as have had 2 previously and am concerned about potentially doing all this in a new country!

As you can see I have a number of questions and I would like to gather as much information as possible before I make a decision. My husband would move immediately if it was just him, but I am much more practical and worry about things! I believe the general cost of living in New York is similar to London? We are currently just outside London so mortgages/rent are high but wages are pretty good.

Thanks for any advice!

rpjs

Melatonin is available OTC here.

Cost of living is broadly similar between London and NYC but salaries tend to be higher here. Your husband should research what the going rate is for his job (glassdoor.com, payscale.com) and make sure he gets it - a lot of companies try to screw over transferees by offering them something a bit better than their London rate but which is well below the market rate in NYC.

Whether you can work will depend on the visa your husband gets. If it's an L-1 intra-company transfer visa, then you will be able to work on the derivative L-2 visa you would get, but you would need to apply for work authorisation - takes about 90 days to come through.

That, of course, is assuming Trump doesn't tear up the whole immigration system and starts anew.

tom169

It certainly is. I was very surprised when I realized it was prescription only in the UK after using it for jet lag in the US.

rpjs

I know! It's very strange.

Rete

My granddaughter, age 8, has been diagnosed with Asperber's and is highly intelligent but suffers in the social arena. She does not suffer from anxiety. The school where they live in Tarrytown/Sleepy Hollow, NY about 40 minutes by train to mid-town Manhattan works with her to make the best school experience possible. She is also receiving behavioral therapy for the small issues of emotion distress caused by certain social situations.

Westchester County, NY does have some Montessori Schools. In order to teach in NY you will have to check out the requirements and see if you need to take classes to further your education, etc. I'm really unfamiliar with that aspect.

With your husband working in Manhattan, then you have choices on where you might want to live. It is one of the few areas of the country with good public transportation from north of the city via Metro North Railroad, from Connecticut with the New Haven branch of that rail system, from New Jersey with the Path trains or busses and from Long Island with the Long Island Railway.

Lots of web browsing is in your future to determine where you want to live, how much you can afford in rent or in buying property, where is the best schools for your children, etc.

Rete

As for your pregnancy, no we do not have health visitors in the US for post-pregnancy. If you are pregnant when you arrive you need to find a OB/GYN will be the primary care doctor for your pregnancy. Normally, you will see him/her once a month until the last month and then bi-weekly until delivery or more often if there are problems. C-sections are done by all OB's I believe and if not, there is someone in their practice who does perform them.

Unfortunately, those are about the only "services" you get for a pregnancy. You can sign up for a Lamaze class, but then you don't need that. If you are going to breastfeed there is an agency that will be happy to assist you in learning the best ways to do this. Again, you might not require this as you already have two children.

After birth you will visit the same OB/GYN for your post-pregnancy followup.

Jb3

Thank you all for your replies. Very interesting to hear about the pay scale thing and will definitely get him to look into that. I'm not sure about what visa I would get yet which is a good point, for all I know I may not get one that enables me to work? And as you point out Trump could change it all!

Thank you for the reply relating to schools and Aspergers and the melatonin which is very good to know! I would need to research schools carefully once knowing where we'd be living. Would the children be expected to start immediately on arrival?

And the maternity care ob/gyn I've heard of this but obviously we take a lot for granted with our NHS and maternity leave/pay etc! What I hope is if we do decide to move I will have already had baby and be on maternity leave here in uk and then perhaps try New York for a year while I'm not under pressure to be looking for a job as I'd be looking after baby...

I hear the whole obamacare thing is up in the air at the moment and I don't understand the American healthcare system at all anyway so perhaps if a new policy comes in I'd understand that?!

Thank you so much for all the responses. I think the not knowing makes me uncertain and leaving my family behind...I have been to New York a few time and loved it but I'm aware the reality of living there would be very different to being a tourist!

tom169

If you did have your baby here in the US then he/she would be a dual US/UK citizen (assuming you/husband are UK citizens).

This of course has pros and cons.

kodokan

I didn't start mine until about 6 weeks in - schools are (usually) linked to address and we were living in temporary accommodation; I didn't see the point of sending them somewhere for a month or so, then moving them again. Mine have changed schools a lot so weren't stressed by the idea of being the new kid, and were happy to doss about for that time adjusting time zones, having a long leisurely holiday, and doing a bit of reading, fractions, and American History.

The school won't know when they arrived, so you can pick what works best - getting them in as soon as poss to perhaps calm nerves, or waiting until you're more settled as a family. Once they're registered, though, they'll be expected to start immediately, usually that day or the next.

Just_Joy

Have you considered home schooling your children? This would give you some time to research and visit schools. You would of course have to check on any requirements NY has for home schooling, but it would give the children a little more time to adjust after the move.

Jb3

Funnily enough I considered homeschooling my oldest here in uk as he was being bullied but thankfully it's resolved now. I think I could teach them at least temporarily if I wasn't working although I'm not familiar with American curriculums what they are expected to know by what age etc. I definitely think it would be good to at least have some time to settle in to new ways of life over there before starting school so it's good to know that's possible! Thank you all so much for your help.

Ps what would be the pros and cons of dual citizenship? Yes we are both uk citizens.

Nutmegger

Do you know where in Manhattan your husband's office will be? You won't want to live in the city, and the office location will suggest the most appropriate place for you to check out housing/schools. For example, with an office in midtown, a commute from Westchester County (NY state, adjacent to the city) or Fairfield County (also adjacent, but in Connecticut) would be feasible. If the office is downtown, then New Jersey would offer the best options. Whichever place you look at, the more expensive it is, the better the schools will be.

petitefrancaise

Personally, I think homeschooling kids that are straight off the boat from all they know is a really bad idea. Kids need friends and a social life to keep them busy and start to see how their lives are going to be - not isolated at home with a mum trying to sort everything else out... you can easily research online about schools and you have plenty of time. OP, do not under-estimate how much you will need to do and I'd leave having the baby until the stress has died down.

kodokan

I agree - unless homeschooling is something you've all been seriously considering trying, an international move and living within a new culture is not the time to test it out. On the other hand, I wouldn't rush overmuch for the first few weeks if you don't yet have a fixed address to determine your school, and you're in a corporate apartment, extended stay hotel, etc; it won't matter a jot at those ages. They won't miss a thing academically by not being in school for a month; you can pick up a couple of Whatever Grade workbooks from a local bookstore and go through them for a little while each day, to add some structure and get them familiar with US educational vocabulary terms ('write an expository essay', 'underline the predicate', etc) and the imperial measurement system they'll be using in math problems.

Completely different for high schoolers, of course, as their graduation is based on attendance and gaining credits. When we moved states, our kids went straight into their new 6th grade and 10th grade schools while we were living in a hotel for a couple of months. There was a lot of finger crossing that we would then be able to find a suitable house to buy in the school boundary...

Jb3

I think we would be looking at WestChester area? Argh I hadn't even considered things like imperial measuring lol of course they learn metric here and words spelt different like colour as color. I guess I'd be learning a lot myself!! Hopefully children are young enough to adapt to those things - although my oldest being assessed for Asperger may find those small things hard to get his head around but he's a clever boy so we'll see.

I flit from one day thinking yes we can do this pack up our lives and move and then the next day thinking no way it's too much of a big change and what if we don't adapt!