danfan

Haven't been on this forum for ages.... usually I get too homesick when I read posts so I stopped coming. But I thought maybe some of you might have experience of this....

I've been here over 5 years & while I've adapted mostly to the changes in my life, it hasn't been as hard for me as for many immigrants - I'm white, fairly well educated, run my own company, and English is obviously my first language. I just can't imagine how hard it would be if the culture was any more different so I have always empathized with immigrants from non-English speaking countries or with vastly different cultures.

Anyway, over the past few years the one thing I have struggled to deal with is the level of prejudice and racism here. Living in Southern VA, it was awful. In PA it's not as bad but still shocks me.

For the first time today, I dealt with it personally. I popped into work to check messages and heard: "You need to get a new receptionist who can speak proper English & send the one you have back to her own country."

My first reaction was it must be a wrong number. Proper English?? Can't be me! I checked the number & it was a cell phone number in a specific area where I've worked with a lot of customers lately so I can only assume he called the right number. My second reaction was "errr I'm the one speaking proper English, you bloody redneck moron!" and then I let it go..... for a while. For the rest of the morning I have been basically stewing & getting more and more angry about it.

When something like that is directed at you, how do you handle it? In this case, short of calling him back & getting into an argument about it, there's really nothing I can do. But damn, I am mad! I have even more sympathy for those that deal with real prejudice frequently - I mean, what I got was very mild, I know that. I can't imagine coping with so much of it.

augigi

Well, considering you do speak "Real English", I'd just think he/she was a total dickhead and not worry about it. In fact, it's kind of funny.

Poppy girl

When I worked at the Airport in Illinois a woman called and pretty much said the same thing to me except the word bitch was used I was furious and I swear if I could of got my hands on the piece of trash I would of smacked her one, but that would only of got me deported so I tried to put the ignorant uneducated jealous woman out of my mind.

Don't take it personally people like this are jealous,and have issue's that need to be dealt with if you have lived here 5 years and that's the 1st real incident then let it go and just put it down to them being dumb it happens all over the world not just the US I think the word is MORONS LOL

MsElui

you should pity them for their ignorance and pathetic-ness.

If it has really upset you - then you could ring the number just long enough to work out who made the call. Then you could terminate the business relationship with that person. Decline their business. they probably wont care but you wont have to deal with that idiot again.

danfan

Thanks.

I totally agree that they are ignorant morons. It's still horrible to listen to though, and yeah once in 5 years is light. That's why I have even more sympathy for the people who hear that kind of thing all the time. I hear people get ignorant about immigrants & they'll turn to me and say "Not you, of course." That makes me mad but this is a whole other level of anger I am at now LOL.

I hadn't told my husband yet when I posted the OP - he's actually doing a show today in the area where the call came from - but I just called & told him & he's as mad as I am. He wants to listen to it & see if he can figure out who it came from. It was left at 1am so my guess is the guy was drunk.

I am saving the message & the number so if I get more, I'll be reporting them to the police for harrassment, or whatever.

dbj1000

In 5 years, I've only encountered direct racism to my face once. I suspect that it goes on behind my back rather more often.

I'd only been here a couple of weeks, and the person in question worked for the Department of Social Security phone "helpline". She told me I was taking jobs from Americans, was here illegally, that she was calling the "Immigrant Police" and told me to go home where I belonged.

You know the saddest thing? She was black, with a thick, poor Southern accent. How pathetic is it that the people most often subjected to this kind of racist crap perpetuate it as soon as they find someone they perceive as lower than them on the pecking order?

By the way, I think that MsElui's response is great, and about as reasonable a suggestion as you can get.

Ray

Totally opposite to what I receive (excluding the MIL)

The best being when I first arrived.. I stayed in a motel for a week and the foyer was being rebuilt by a guy from TN and every morning we had a chat over a coffee..neither of us understanding each other, but the odd word.

We both thoroughly enjoyed the interaction and I'm sure if he had been local ...we would have become good mates

danfan

OMG! Did you report her??? That would have made me sick to my stomach!

I don't really want to call the person back - I might not be able to stop myself saying something & I just don't want a fight with someone. You can't "win" an argument with stupid people. I have been trying to get his name from reverse look up though. At least if I know who it is I can just stop dealing with them.

And you know what keeps going through my mind - I brought a decent amount of money with me when I moved here. Set up a business, employ local craftsmen to manufacture here in US instead of importing Chinese crap & bring in money from around the US & world and we keep it in our local economy. We pay a good amount of tax & support local charities & blah blah. I bet I do more for the local economy that that ignorant ****

danfan

Ray, for the most part I have the same experience. I suppose I have to keep remembering that.

Ray

You are always going to get one ... I have more trouble with Geordies and Scousers ..and the worst Glaswegian..all totally incomprehensible to me...

Tarkak9

People like that tend to be bitter about many things in their lives. The thing people forget while leaving a message like that is that they are leaving 'evidence' too! So, if you're so inclined, you could report it etc. If that individual was an employee of a vender or other business relationship then I would be inclined to talk to the that business and say I'm no longer longer interested with continuing business with them and explain why - I don't tolerate blatent prejudicism towards me nor my business.

Mindyou, I haven't had too many occurances of that happening but once, in response to someone with that tone, I did pause and look over my left shoulder and then over my right and said words to the effect "You couldn't have possibly directed that remark to me because I believe I am the only one here who speaks proper English. I can't imagine your that dumb not to see that nor be able to understand a word I am saying. If you will excuse me, I'm off to continue to have a nice day..."

scrubbedexpat099

It is soooo easy to deal with that, I have had a few jocular remarks about my accent, I look puzzled and point out that I do not have one, they do.

My guess is that people here are much nicer on average than if it had been the other way around.

danfan

The comment about accents really didn't bother me - on the phone to customers all day, I get a lot of comments about that - it was the "send her back to her own country" comment that was so insulting, along with the voice; there was nothing joking about that.

I'm feeling calmer about it now. If he calls again, I'll set my husband on him LOL

Ray

Taser the bastard

danfan

ROFL