PepsiChic

Having had our son in the USA, Id like his legal guardians to be my brother and his wife who live in the UK, my husband isnt so sure about this but the only family he has in the USA is his mother, and well i really dont like her parenting techniques ( the less said the better)

does anyone know who we would go about naming a legal guardian that lives in a different country? would i have to have them here to sign a notarized document and then us go to the UK and do it there too or is one country enough to cover both places?

also could MIL stop him from going to my brother because of the country difference??

md95065

I presume that you mean that you want to nominate your brother and his wife to be legal guardians of your son in the event that something happened to both you and your husband.

You really need to consult an attorney about this.

Since children are not "property" you can't "leave them" to someone.

What happens in the event of your untimely demise will depend a great deal on the courts that end up having jurisdiction. While the courts would normally give great deference to the wishes of the parents in such a case their first priority would normally what they considered to be in the best interests of the child and that might not necessarily include being removed from the jurisdiction of the court and the US. So, as I said, you *really* need to consult an attorney in order to come up with something that will be as bullet proof as possible wherever it is that you happen to live.

Neko128

If you're referring to guardianship defined in a will or something, definitely consult an attorney. Among other things, a blood relation can make a claim in court for custody over an unrelated couple, though filing a will should normally cut that off... As the previous reply said, it depends a lot on the jurisdiction.

Nutmegger

My sister's children are all grown up now, but when they were minors her and her husband's wills named me as legal guardian in case of sad eventualities, even though I lived in the US. We just discussed what their expectations were -- they didn't expect me to go back to the UK, and they had no thoughts of the children going to the US. It was a matter of me becoming overseer of their affairs and ensuring their happiness and the continuation of life as they knew it (with one sad exception . . . ). Of course, it was all carefully drawn up by their attorney.

Mummy in the foothills

We had to choose legal guardians for Dd when were adopting her, the state likes to know these things Anyway we chose my Mother and Sister, one lives in UK one lives in Spain. They were just fine with that. didn't even bat an eye so with a lawyer doing the paperwork it shouldn't be a problem.

PepsiChic

thanks for the replies its all quite complicated, my biggest worry is that my MIL (in the USA) would try to contest anything we decide for our son.

JAJ

Which is why you need to find a good family law attorney in your state of residence ...

ian-mstm

Your MIL can contest anything she wants as long as she has the inclination to act and the money to file a suit. Whether she actually has a viable case or not will depend on a number of factors... but that's why you want an attorney involved in this process.

Ian

Neko128

Exactly my thoughts and concerns.

Your MIL can take you to court either way, but consulting with a lawyer to get a well-written will on the subject should make it a foregone conclusion in favour of your desires.

PepsiChic

ok, if i get the will written in the usa will it be upheld by the uk and likewise otherway around or do i have to have the will written in the place (country and state) of my residence?

i ask this because we're going back to the UK in october and if i can would get it done there so that brother can sign it or what ever he needs to do for his part.

Nutmegger

It's your will -- your brother doesn't need to sign anything. It should be made under the laws of the place where you live and where it will be probated, using an attorney familiar with the local jurisdiction.

Jerseygirl

When I became guardian for my sister's children her solicitor in the UK sent me a document to sign...to confirm my agreement to become their guardian.

Nutmegger

Then I bow to your experience -- when I was in the same position there was nothing for me to sign. But I still believe that PepsiChic needs to have her document drawn in the jurisdiction in which she is resident.

Jerseygirl

Probably just down to the solicitor...I don't suppose it was legally binding...probably more for their peace of mind.

Just to clarify...I was living in the US and my sister was in the UK and she used a solicitor from the UK. Which confirms what you are saying.