Brat1

So we are just waiting to close on our new home that we've bought over here and the nerves are starting to crack.... I am waking up at night sweating, going over and over everything that we had to do/have to do and the reality of what we've done has suddenly hit me. Even though we had gone over and over whether we were doing the right thing before we took the plunge, and my OH having several long "chats" with his boss, I still can't get this underlying sense of doom to go away.... am I being oversensitive?? Has anyone else had this kind of feeling before closing, because I moved many times back in the UK and it was always a happy, exciting time.... just not getting that, maybe it's because I know that the seller is terminally ill, and she's been so ill during all the inspections etc, that I feel kind of guilty. Anyway, just wondered if this is a normal feeling when making such a big decision, I'm in a kind of fog at the minute and losing sense of normality if that makes any sense at all

Beccarose

This probably won't be very helpful, and I'm not even sure if you are moving to the US or to the UK, or where...

But just wanted to say I think having those feelings of uncertainty creep in is normal. Thing is when we moved from one state to another I began having such doubts that I did not listen to and kept trying to suppress and ignore. But here we are 2+ years later and I am still not settled and knew I should have listened to those doubts/instincts. A move is definitely in our future.

Every time in my life when I have had serious gut doubts about something and I did it anyway I have regretted it (this is why I said this post would probably not be very helpful... sorry).

lisa67

Hang on in there! I'm a great believer in what is meant to be will be. Buying a house is such a stressful time but you'll soon be able to look back on it, smile, and toast your new house with a glass or two!
You shouldn't feel guilty about the owner, it's very sad that she's so sick butnit seems to me that you're doing her a favor by taking the property.

Bob

Just as long as she moves out before carping it you won't have to worry about ghosts, so think positive

Uncle Ebenezer

I think it's awful that you're pulling the rug out from under a dying woman, presumably for a knockdown price. You should be ashamed!

N1cky

I hope your last minute jitters are over the guilt (not that you have anything to feel guilty about) and not that you don't have your green cards and are buying, that would scare me to death.

margaretmwilson

I had last minute jitters a year ago, even when we were sitting around the table when closing the deal but I sat there and said nothing. Here we are today with our house up for sale because things have gone sour with my OH job. I could kick my own backside for not having the nerve to say "stop". I'm sure its all the upheaval you are going through along with everything that has been shoved your way recently, you're had a pretty rough time. I am sure everything will be fine. Wish I could say the same for my own situation.

lisa67

We lived in the US for 8 or so years while our green cards were being processed and bought a house after being here for 2 years. Renting with 2 (then small) children was such a PIA that, for us, it was worth the risk and I felt much more settled once we'd moved into our own home and luckily it all worked out

Brat1

Thanks for ALL the replies

I think part of it is the guilt, or not so much guilt, but sadness at the whole situation, and the other part is what one of you said, not having the green cards and deciding to buy The date on our GC applications is Jan 2007 and they are sitting at the NVC waiting on availability so we're hoping, that if the EB3 progresses the way it is, we could possibly have another 12-18 months wait...... but that could be way off, especially if they go backwards which would not be unheard of. Did we think about buying for a long time... yes, has our situation in the rental we've been in been a nightmare.... yes, so deep down I know that we're not doing this on a whim, but it's just such a big step.

So you know what, I'm going to carry on, we've made the decision, we have a nice house to move to which I can push all my interior design energy into after New Year and our visit home, and take it as it comes. Nothing in life is certain, it may or may not work out, but I firmly believe that everything that happens in your life, happens for a reason, be that good or bad, so maybe I just needed to get it down on here to make me realise that whatever decisions we make, as long as we are strong as a family, which we are, we can deal with what comes along.

Thanks again guys, I can always rely on you all to put things in perspective, be that good or bad, so thank you.

N1cky

Glad it worked out for you, hopefully Brat will have the same good fortune.

Hope it goes well Brat. It's easy for me to see the negatives after being in the position of being told we had to leave the country in 2 weeks time

washsaint

Go for it........as you say, if it's meant to be it's meant to be.

We moved over 16 months ago on L1s and bought just before we moved - it helped the family settle quickly, and now we're Green Card holders and here for keeps (hopefully!).

So much nicer having your own home that you can do things with - good luck and hope it works out!

Brat1

Thanks N1cky, I hope and pray that we don't end up in a situation like that, but if we do, I suppose we'll deal with it, what else can you do and sometimes it's good to hear other peoples stories, just to make you realise some of the pitfalls of what could lie ahead, so thank you.

ottotheboar

The fact that you are dealing with a lady who is terminally ill creates a different dimension in the transaction. If you are treating her fairly you have nothing to feel guilty about. You can argue the pro and cons of buying without a green card till the cows come home, just go ahead and do what you feel is best for your situation.

Brat1

Thanks Otto, we've been fair I think, we have tried to work around her and to try and not upset her routine with the inspections and stuff, and her request was that she spend her last Thanksgiving in her house, which, of course, was never going to be in issue. Having said that, it has made the transaction more stressful, and we've been so aware of the delicate nature of the buying, but I hope that the time she has left, she can spend with the people who love her most, and that the stress of having to sell her home has not made an awful situation all the more hard for her to bear. Thanks again, I appreciate the posts.

Leslie

She ain't gonna need it.