It sounds to me like Wombat's the one experiencing culture shock. I still haven't read anything in her posts that indicates that their unhappiness here is more than a reflection of their mum's.

Wombat, things are going to be very different in Texas. Many things will be worse than your past experiences. Some will be better. Some will be completely new. Rather than obsessing on the negative aspects, you need to read as much as you can about the stages of culture shock, before they consume you and your family. Right now, the way you're sounding, you're on a path that can't lead to anything good.

You can get through these feelings of rejection, but it won't be easy. Try not to dump too much of it on the kids.

In what way exactly am I 'dumping on my kids', dbj1000? I was simply asking if the school system that they have both been complaining about to me is as bad as they say it is, and if there is an alternative. My life isn't too bad to be honest, it's pretty relaxing here in the suburbs and I am not telling my kids to come home and start crying because they hate school.

I really dislike men who assume that mothers are to blame for all their children's troubles.

well said.

I think you are being a bit hard on dbj. You said right from your first post how you " hated it here" . I don't think he is blaming you but as I said before maybe a bit more encouragement might help your kids. If they see you more settled and up beat they might be as well

...and I dislike anyone who announces that "the whole family hates the place" after three weeks. So we're even.

I still honestly wish you good luck. You (and your family) need to get through this dreadful stage of culture shock - I should know, because I was stuck in culture-shock hell here in Texas for a very, very long time.

With respect, I don't think that dbj's post really needed a response like that.

He wasn't insinuating that you were to blame for your childrens troubles, he was just gently saying that parents do feed off the children, and if you are having a tough time settling in, the children could well be picking up on those vibes and seeing that everything is much worse than it really is.

I'm sure you are all suffering from culture shock - I know when my kids start school here, they will probably feel the same, they are already shocked at the amount of homework their 9 year old step sister gets, and at the lack of break times, but when we look at their results from their english school, compared to what the children are studying in 5th grade here (and we are holding them back a year, they should be going into 6th grade) we know that the 'harder' regime will be worth it in the long run.

Is the school principle aware of how different things are here to in the UK? perhaps popping in for a chat with her, or one of the teachers and explaining your concerns may help? I'm not saying they will make exceptions for your kids, but they may have suggestions on how to make the transition easier for your kids - as others have suggested, afterschool clubs and activities.... we have already been in to speak to the principle of the school where the boys will be attending and she is bringing in the school psychologist to help the boys with the change in routine and to listen to them when things get tough.

I know its hard, when I first got here I wanted to go home pretty much every day, but it does get easier.

Agree, I think what dbj was trying to say was sometimes they pick up vibes from parents even though we don't realise it.

In general the schools are like that all over the US, even the private ones. I was pretty shocked myself when I discovered my son was not going to get any breaks during the day but I realised that it was just the way things were done and we had to get used to it. On the up side they get tons of time off in the summer, so much that they will be begging to go back to school

I don't know about that. Coming from a native, I did not look forward to going back to school (and I was one of the geeks in school).

So true young Sue ... Very few kids will come home from a new school
and say its wonderful ..probably missed the servants you had ...

Kids wind parents up to make them feel bad ..and guess what happens ..you get them treats ... clever little buggers these kids

Me .. I would taser the little shits ...

And you don't mention how early they finish compared to other places ..

No neither did my 15 year old son, his remarks to me when he went back two weeks ago was "where did the time go? Summer was not long enough this year".

I think you should come live with me and sort my brats out

I expect he was deep into things with Paul

Four days ..and they are like angels

this little girl came to me with no talent ...
now she has ...

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1828310

This day last year.. infact probably at about this time, I had my eleven year old son sobbing in my bedroom literally begging me to take him home. It was his first day in his new school in a new country. I was absolutely beside myself.. of course I was about as much good as a chocolate fireguard, cos I just sobbed along with him.. AND I tore my OH off a strip for bringing us to this god foresaken country and putting us through this.. However, I reckon it took 2 more days and he was happy as Larry.

Back to school today.. and he said 'it was wicked' so i'm guessing he enjoyed it.. It does take time to adjust.. SO many things are different.. I think alot of talking and encouragement is always good.. Kids really are incredibly resilient.. Good luck..