Keys to assimilating
May 25th 2009, 2:32 am
#1
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 21
Keys to assimilating
Here's a few things I've learned in the short time i've been here. Feel free to add your own keys if you wish.
1) Send kids to public schools. Sending them to private schools only alienates them further.
2) Americans are friendly and not reciprocating openly can cause people to think you are a snob.
3) Develop a thick skin. Americans will tell you exactly how it is. Get used to it.
4) Get a tan and get in shape. Americans are generally fit and look down on those who aren't.
6) Listen to Country music. It will grow on you, trust me
7) Never speak disparagingly about America while in open company. Always let people know you are happy to be here.
8) Try new things and foods, don't be afraid
9) Try to interact with people.
10) Avoid "I'm british" bumper stickers and t shirts.
11) Kids are rough here so don't make a big stink when little Gregory comes home with a bloody nose, it will only make things worse for him if you do
12) Always remember that you are a guest here.
13) Buy an American truck or SUV
14) Immerse yourself in the culture and follow the local football, baseball and basketball teams. It helps when making conversation.
15) Try to adapt the local accent because Americans generally think of Brits as "easy marks"
1) Send kids to public schools. Sending them to private schools only alienates them further.
2) Americans are friendly and not reciprocating openly can cause people to think you are a snob.
3) Develop a thick skin. Americans will tell you exactly how it is. Get used to it.
4) Get a tan and get in shape. Americans are generally fit and look down on those who aren't.
6) Listen to Country music. It will grow on you, trust me
7) Never speak disparagingly about America while in open company. Always let people know you are happy to be here.
8) Try new things and foods, don't be afraid
9) Try to interact with people.
10) Avoid "I'm british" bumper stickers and t shirts.
11) Kids are rough here so don't make a big stink when little Gregory comes home with a bloody nose, it will only make things worse for him if you do
12) Always remember that you are a guest here.
13) Buy an American truck or SUV
14) Immerse yourself in the culture and follow the local football, baseball and basketball teams. It helps when making conversation.
15) Try to adapt the local accent because Americans generally think of Brits as "easy marks"
May 25th 2009, 2:48 am
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 30
Re: Keys to assimilating
Just be yourself and adapt to what level you feel comfortable doing is how I feel. I wouldn't buy an American vehicle for the sake of assimilating (because imo they mostly suck lol). I moved here in my mid 20s, some 10 years ago. I think I would sound pretty silly if I tried speaking with a Texas accent - they might even think I was taking the piss 
I am happy being a Brit whose residence is the US.
I am happy being a Brit whose residence is the US.
May 25th 2009, 2:51 am
#3
L2, GC, Surrey, OH, TX!
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Surrey to Dallas (via Ohio)!
Posts: 6,363
Re: Keys to assimilating
some thinks are spot on - others - ive never heard such a load of cr4p!
May 25th 2009, 2:52 am
#4
Arrogant ****
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Plano, TX
Posts: 4,323
Re: Keys to assimilating
Here's a few things I've learned in the short time i've been here. Feel free to add your own keys if you wish.
1) Send kids to public schools. Sending them to private schools only alienates them further.
2) Americans are friendly and not reciprocating openly can cause people to think you are a snob.
3) Develop a thick skin. Americans will tell you exactly how it is. Get used to it.
4) Get a tan and get in shape. Americans are generally fit and look down on those who aren't.
6) Listen to Country music. It will grow on you, trust me
7) Never speak disparagingly about America while in open company. Always let people know you are happy to be here.
8) Try new things and foods, don't be afraid
9) Try to interact with people.
10) Avoid "I'm british" bumper stickers and t shirts.
11) Kids are rough here so don't make a big stink when little Gregory comes home with a bloody nose, it will only make things worse for him if you do
12) Always remember that you are a guest here.
13) Buy an American truck or SUV
14) Immerse yourself in the culture and follow the local football, baseball and basketball teams. It helps when making conversation.
15) Try to adapt the local accent because Americans generally think of Brits as "easy marks"
1) Send kids to public schools. Sending them to private schools only alienates them further.
2) Americans are friendly and not reciprocating openly can cause people to think you are a snob.
3) Develop a thick skin. Americans will tell you exactly how it is. Get used to it.
4) Get a tan and get in shape. Americans are generally fit and look down on those who aren't.
6) Listen to Country music. It will grow on you, trust me
7) Never speak disparagingly about America while in open company. Always let people know you are happy to be here.
8) Try new things and foods, don't be afraid
9) Try to interact with people.
10) Avoid "I'm british" bumper stickers and t shirts.
11) Kids are rough here so don't make a big stink when little Gregory comes home with a bloody nose, it will only make things worse for him if you do
12) Always remember that you are a guest here.
13) Buy an American truck or SUV
14) Immerse yourself in the culture and follow the local football, baseball and basketball teams. It helps when making conversation.
15) Try to adapt the local accent because Americans generally think of Brits as "easy marks"
That's really a pretty sad list.
May 25th 2009, 2:53 am
#5
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 30
Re: Keys to assimilating
damn! looks like I should have been harsher lol
May 25th 2009, 2:56 am
#7
You aint seen me, right?
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: US of A, TN
Posts: 3,573
Re: Keys to assimilating
If my son ever comes home with a bloody nose whoever did it had better hope they have good health insurance as they'll need it 
May 25th 2009, 2:57 am
#8
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 21
Re: Keys to assimilating
The list was mostly for people with children.
May 25th 2009, 3:06 am
#11
Arrogant ****
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Plano, TX
Posts: 4,323
Re: Keys to assimilating
Here's a few things I've learned in the short time i've been here. Feel free to add your own keys if you wish.
1) Send kids to public schools. Sending them to private schools only alienates them further.
2) Americans are friendly and not reciprocating openly can cause people to think you are a snob.
3) Develop a thick skin. Americans will tell you exactly how it is. Get used to it.
4) Get a tan and get in shape. Americans are generally fit and look down on those who aren't.
6) Listen to Country music. It will grow on you, trust me
7) Never speak disparagingly about America while in open company. Always let people know you are happy to be here.
8) Try new things and foods, don't be afraid
9) Try to interact with people.
10) Avoid "I'm british" bumper stickers and t shirts.
11) Kids are rough here so don't make a big stink when little Gregory comes home with a bloody nose, it will only make things worse for him if you do
12) Always remember that you are a guest here.
13) Buy an American truck or SUV
14) Immerse yourself in the culture and follow the local football, baseball and basketball teams. It helps when making conversation.
15) Try to adapt the local accent because Americans generally think of Brits as "easy marks"
1) Send kids to public schools. Sending them to private schools only alienates them further.
2) Americans are friendly and not reciprocating openly can cause people to think you are a snob.
3) Develop a thick skin. Americans will tell you exactly how it is. Get used to it.
4) Get a tan and get in shape. Americans are generally fit and look down on those who aren't.
6) Listen to Country music. It will grow on you, trust me
7) Never speak disparagingly about America while in open company. Always let people know you are happy to be here.
8) Try new things and foods, don't be afraid
9) Try to interact with people.
10) Avoid "I'm british" bumper stickers and t shirts.
11) Kids are rough here so don't make a big stink when little Gregory comes home with a bloody nose, it will only make things worse for him if you do
12) Always remember that you are a guest here.
13) Buy an American truck or SUV
14) Immerse yourself in the culture and follow the local football, baseball and basketball teams. It helps when making conversation.
15) Try to adapt the local accent because Americans generally think of Brits as "easy marks"
2) True of anywhere in the world.
3) I'm far more direct than any of my American friends or colleagues. Your generalizations are absurd.
4) Talking of generalizations... Have you noticed any obese people while you've been over here?
5) Luckily you missed out 5. Thank God for small mercies.
6) I'd rather cut off both my ears.
7) Is that before or after I have the lobotomy? I'll speak my mind of whatever country I'm in, thanks.
8) Speak for yourself. I never was "afraid" of new experiences or food.
9) ...particularly in a condescending manner on the Internet. Works for me!
10) Screw you. I'll put a Union Jack on my car, my office door and my computer desktop if I feel like it. I'm not American, remember? If I was, I'd fly the Stars and Stripes.
11) WTF?!? If "little Gregory" comes home with a bloody nose I'll be in the Principal's office the next morning demanding an explanation. As for generalizations - "kids are rough here"... do you actually think all of America is exactly the same?
12) ...and act like a doormat because of it? Like hell!
13) Now you're just taking the piss with this one.
14) Sounds like you need all the help in conversation that you can get. Personally, I stick to Art, Science and Literature and haven't found any trouble making conversation.
15) No mate, they think YOU are an easy mark. Me, I find my accent is a huge asset and a major benefit to living here.
May 25th 2009, 3:29 am
#13
Account Closed
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 0
Re: Keys to assimilating
1) Bollocks. It's a matter of choice and finances. At a private school they'll be accepted by private school kids just fine, I imagine.
2) True of anywhere in the world.
3) I'm far more direct than any of my American friends or colleagues. Your generalizations are absurd.
4) Talking of generalizations... Have you noticed any obese people while you've been over here?
5) Luckily you missed out 5. Thank God for small mercies.
6) I'd rather cut off both my ears.
7) Is that before or after I have the lobotomy? I'll speak my mind of whatever country I'm in, thanks.
8) Speak for yourself. I never was "afraid" of new experiences or food.
9) ...particularly in a condescending manner on the Internet. Works for me!
10) Screw you. I'll put a Union Jack on my car, my office door and my computer desktop if I feel like it. I'm not American, remember? If I was, I'd fly the Stars and Stripes.
11) WTF?!? If "little Gregory" comes home with a bloody nose I'll be in the Principal's office the next morning demanding an explanation. As for generalizations - "kids are rough here"... do you actually think all of America is exactly the same?
12) ...and act like a doormat because of it? Like hell!
13) Now you're just taking the piss with this one.
14) Sounds like you need all the help in conversation that you can get. Personally, I stick to Art, Science and Literature and haven't found any trouble making conversation.
15) No mate, they think YOU are an easy mark. Me, I find my accent is a huge asset and a major benefit to living here.
2) True of anywhere in the world.
3) I'm far more direct than any of my American friends or colleagues. Your generalizations are absurd.
4) Talking of generalizations... Have you noticed any obese people while you've been over here?
5) Luckily you missed out 5. Thank God for small mercies.
6) I'd rather cut off both my ears.
7) Is that before or after I have the lobotomy? I'll speak my mind of whatever country I'm in, thanks.
8) Speak for yourself. I never was "afraid" of new experiences or food.
9) ...particularly in a condescending manner on the Internet. Works for me!
10) Screw you. I'll put a Union Jack on my car, my office door and my computer desktop if I feel like it. I'm not American, remember? If I was, I'd fly the Stars and Stripes.
11) WTF?!? If "little Gregory" comes home with a bloody nose I'll be in the Principal's office the next morning demanding an explanation. As for generalizations - "kids are rough here"... do you actually think all of America is exactly the same?
12) ...and act like a doormat because of it? Like hell!
13) Now you're just taking the piss with this one.
14) Sounds like you need all the help in conversation that you can get. Personally, I stick to Art, Science and Literature and haven't found any trouble making conversation.
15) No mate, they think YOU are an easy mark. Me, I find my accent is a huge asset and a major benefit to living here.
Thanks D
May 25th 2009, 4:47 am
#14
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2009
Location: on the horizon
Posts: 4,382
Re: Keys to assimilating
Here's a few things I've learned in the short time i've been here. Feel free to add your own keys if you wish.
1) Send kids to public schools. Sending them to private schools only alienates them further.
2) Americans are friendly and not reciprocating openly can cause people to think you are a snob.
3) Develop a thick skin. Americans will tell you exactly how it is. Get used to it.
4) Get a tan and get in shape. Americans are generally fit and look down on those who aren't.
6) Listen to Country music. It will grow on you, trust me
7) Never speak disparagingly about America while in open company. Always let people know you are happy to be here.
8) Try new things and foods, don't be afraid
9) Try to interact with people.
10) Avoid "I'm british" bumper stickers and t shirts.
11) Kids are rough here so don't make a big stink when little Gregory comes home with a bloody nose, it will only make things worse for him if you do
12) Always remember that you are a guest here.
13) Buy an American truck or SUV
14) Immerse yourself in the culture and follow the local football, baseball and basketball teams. It helps when making conversation.
15) Try to adapt the local accent because Americans generally think of Brits as "easy marks"
1) Send kids to public schools. Sending them to private schools only alienates them further.
2) Americans are friendly and not reciprocating openly can cause people to think you are a snob.
3) Develop a thick skin. Americans will tell you exactly how it is. Get used to it.
4) Get a tan and get in shape. Americans are generally fit and look down on those who aren't.
6) Listen to Country music. It will grow on you, trust me
7) Never speak disparagingly about America while in open company. Always let people know you are happy to be here.
8) Try new things and foods, don't be afraid
9) Try to interact with people.
10) Avoid "I'm british" bumper stickers and t shirts.
11) Kids are rough here so don't make a big stink when little Gregory comes home with a bloody nose, it will only make things worse for him if you do
12) Always remember that you are a guest here.
13) Buy an American truck or SUV
14) Immerse yourself in the culture and follow the local football, baseball and basketball teams. It helps when making conversation.
15) Try to adapt the local accent because Americans generally think of Brits as "easy marks"
16) Wear yellow check rupert-bear trousers (sorry pants!),
17) Get a crew-cut
18) Wear a baseball cap - back to front if you feel a bit dangerous!
.....are you sure your not having a flashback to a 1950's instructional movie you once watched?
