rabsody

Wow, these posts certainly give you some food for thought. Family and relationships in UK are of course highly important reasons for going back but being broke really sucks too and I guess, for some, would make them question why they ever returned.

Shoz in Oz, do you regret going back to UK now?

stepnek

A very interesting topic. I've been in Canada for three years and we live relatively cheaply here being mortgage free. I'd love to move back to the UK but I can't see a way of being able to justify it. I often look over my shoulder to where I'd really like to live but I think I'll be here for the rest of my life as I couldn't afford all the moving back and taking on a big mortgage. Money is a sad fact of life and I've spent most of my life just trying to get enough to pay my bills. Now I'm in a position of being debt and mortgage free I've more or less made the decision to compromise somewhere and that's by staying here even though the thought of it saddens me.

mingusdynasty

I know it's a cliche but it's true, health is more important than money. I know a multi millionaiire who has emphysemia and is dying. I reckon if he could swap his money for good health he'd do it in a heartbeat.

Shivster

I could kick myself for selling my house in London and giving up my career for what seems now like no more than a whim!

But and there's always a but... I'm gaining nothing by beating myself up over it. I'll move back broke, start working two jobs if needs be and bide my time until if and when the housing market settles down and I can get a foot on the ladder again.

My sister moved back after two years away and it took her three years to save up enough for a deposit on a house again but she did it and so can I.

Howard1944

money can't buy poverty.

i've been rich and i've been poor, rich is much better.

People will spend years going to school, work 70 hours a week to make money, but won't take the time to learn how to manage it.

Investing is a journey, not a Destination.

ShozInOz

Hi, no we don't regret coming back. If nothing else, if we had not have come back, we might still be wondering if we should. We have had over a year of more contact with family and friends, and some good job experience and my wife is finishing a very good degree course. But we'll be returning to Aus in a year or so from now - hopefully with real confidence in our decision this time.

We're not really broke as such, because I have a high income. But we have fairly high debts. This is of course through spending more, on both taxes and goods. In Aus we spent relatively little as we spent so much of our lives outside. My family used to own shops, and the takings were always lower in the summer because people were not thinking of buying things, especially not things for the home.

dunroving

Thanks again for the helpful comments. Some of you asked me questions, so I thought I'd answer some of them.

you need to ask yourself what is your quality of life. Although you have high outlays, are you enjoying being there enough to warrant that?

- yes, I am certainly appreciating the ability to walk the dog on country paths every day, and don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not miserable. But I've only been back a year and I'm wondering whether another 15 years of free country walking outweighs all the lifestyle options I had in the US, especially in TN (see my later comments)

If you moved back to the states - what if you wanted to come back to UK in say 5 -10 years. You'd be in a worse situ than now in all probability

- actually, I don't think that is true, which is why I've been thinking the way I have. Right now, and for the next several years, I will have a very limited disposable income if I stay in the UK (remember, right now I'm broke paying a 25-year mortgage, but at some time I'll have to step up my mortgage payments even more if I want to pay it off by retirement). In the States, I saved $10,000-$15,000 every year which I could use to invest in property. I think the disposable income I would have in the US gives me a lot more options to invest in a way that could allopw me to return at retirement - if I wanted to at that point.

Are you happy in your job now; do you like the place where you live?

- my job is fine, although not as rewarding as my US job. As above, I like the place I live in the UK.

You left US and returned to UK for a reason(s), are they still valid?

- Essentially, the answer is no, the reasons are no longer valid for one main reason. I thought I would return to a financially stable situation, but between when I first thought of returning and when I actually returned and bought a house, the property market went apeshit. Unlike many on here, I wasn't returning to a large family or large circle of friends in a home city or area. I have a brother (who is overseas and will be overseas for another 5 years at least), and that is about it (no other close family). 24 years overseas has meant that most of my friends are actually in the States, not the UK. So I am sacrificing financial freedom essentially to live the British lifestyle.

Is fear of the future making you anxious/frustrated/angry/regretful/depressed?

- ironically, some of these emotions were partly responsible for me coming back! At 49, with no spouse or kids I was becoming somewhat concerned that in the US I was in a somewhat fragile situation if I ever have a major illness (point of reference: major premature heart disease runs in the male side of the family), whereas in the UK, the welfare state would take care of me (I wouldn't become desitute). On reflection, critical illness and disability insurance exist in the States and as I've mentioned before, I was within a few years of paying off my US mortgage, therefore removing the main financial worry. And at some HEI's in the States (my former employer in TN being one), there are some great benefits packages at relatively low cost.


I should point out that (a) I'm not about to run straight back to the US in a hurry, just starting to weigh up my options and consequences, and (b) I'm in a slightly different situation than many, as I don't have major personal ties to the UK. Over the past 24 years, the place that has felt most like home was middle Tennessee - warm people, great community, great colleagues, and the bicycling club I belonged to was a large group of caring individuals. My biggest mistake was moving back from there first of all in 2000 (DON'T ASK!!!!). That's why I say that if I could snap my fingers and be back there, I'd do it in an instant.

Hope this sheds a little more light on my situation.

Shivster

Have you thought about moving back to the US, renting out your house in the UK so that at the very least it wipes its nose, chucking your US savings at the mortgage and moving back when the mortgage has reduced to a manageable level.

Have you got the best mortgage deal you could get?

Any chance of relocating within the UK to get a better job? Again, rent house to pay for itself and rent somewhere cheaper if you move.

Do you think it's just a case of post emmigration blues? I think the year point is when most of us start to second guess ourselves.

dunroving

Hi Shivster:

Renting out the house is not really an option as the mortgage is about double what I'd get in rent (and it's not in a very rentable area).

Yes, my mortgage deal is pretty good, I did a lot of research beforehand.

I already relocated once (I was in a temporary position in south Wales for the first 6 months) - plus in my line of work (college prof) moving around a lot arouses suspicion - when I interviewed where I am now, it was asked why I had moved so much.

I'm pretty sure it's not post-emigration blues. I've been through that already and I don't think that's what I'm experiencing. However, I'm not discounting the fact this may not be a rational reaction, so I have definitely decided to keep an open mind, not make any rash decisions, and keep coming back to things with a sense of objectivity. My brother is coming up in a couple of weeks and I'll probably talk it through with him.

Thanks for the ideas!

p.s. Returning to the U.S. would entail major logisitics as I do not have PR or citizenship, so if (IF!) I do start thinking that way I will have to think it through very, very thoroughly as it won't be as simple as you might think.

Shivster

Could you cope with a flat mate?

dunroving

That's certainly on the list of options.

I've rented a room out before to help save money and every time I do, I say "Please let this be the last time I have to ... "

Scout

Here's one thing to think of Dunroving.....are you maybe idealizing the States a bit? I sort of detect a little bit of it from you but then again I could be way off base.

If you return now to the States would you be able to get a job back in Tennessee? You teach at the College/University level don't you? Can you get tenure? If not then your job would not always be 'safe'.

As an American it was always in the back of my mind that if health issues did arise then even though I had excellent insurance thru my company......I still would be struggling if I had to go on long term disability. ....and no job is ever really safe....I was made redundant after 23 years with a company when it was sold (in our situation it was great for us......but really sucked for about 1000 other employees).

Right now the housing market is the States is in the crapper in most areas. Houses are sitting at a standstill. Many markets are way down (as a potential buyer that would be good for you though). Did you pay into the Social Security System in the States & have a private pension plan available? At our age (I'm 47, you are 49)....it's a painful fact of life we have to plan for being old and broken......Do you know for sure you could return to Tennessee? Or would you have to accept a position in another state that you might not like so well.

I guess what I am trying to get at in my roundabout way is..... life is not always greener on the other side of the fence. It's what you make of it whether it's in the UK, the US, Australia, etc. that counts in the end.

If money worries are a concern here how about a roommate to help defer expenses? If hiking and biking are great but not enough then try something else or expand a bit with what you love. Is there a Rambler Group of some sort near you? If there is then check it out.....meet new people.......or if there's not.........maybe form one yourself...organize some Rambles.

I dunno, but it seems like you haven't really been back long enough to settle in enough yet....that's just my thinking though. Follow your mind and your heart and you'll hopefully find your answers.

Shivster

Oh blimey, I assumed you were a USC by now. Stay put young man. Think of yer poor doggie if nothing else.

Mally Lass

Just how important is money ?

OK, I'm really gonna embarass myself here, as not many people are aware of our story, but I'm so sick of people saying that money isn't important and at least family and health are better. So here goes.

Ok, when we had to return unexpectedly from Aus back to the UK, we had nothing ! We came back with around £150 (our last bit of wages). We had no furniture, no money, no jobs and no home. All we had were clothes and a few of the childrens' (x 3) Toys.

We had no choice but to go to the Local Authority for help with housing on our return and waited and waited in a Run down, filthy, drug haven of a Bed & Breakfast for nearly a year, awaiting a property. We couldn't find jobs, as employers automatically took it as a bad thing, when we said we were in a B & B through our Council. We had to claim the dreaded benefits, and to be honest I don't know how people stay that way. It took the majority of our time filling in forms, re-filling them as they were continually mislaid by members of staff and different centres etc. Making never ending phone calls to people for proof of us and our children, then going back and forth a billion times to take this proof to the necessary people. Anyway, being on benefits is a full time job in my opinion, unless it's sickness or disability. It's not what we wanted but had no choice in our situation. We couldn't privately rent, because a)we had been out of the country and had no previous fixed abode for x amount of years whilst away, b)had no MONEY for a deposit, c)had 3 children (which estate agens don't seem to like these days). We struggled daily as coping with the whole benefits system played havoc with mine and my husbands health, to the extent that he thought he was having a breakdown. It was very costly too, transport to the local offices every few days, constant phone calls, photocopying etc, I can now see why people on benefits drink so much Anyway, we were refused housing from Council on the basis that we had been out of the Country, no ifs, no buts, end of story. My son (8) was being bullied by another resident of 12 years old and already an alcoholic like his resident parents, and we were powerless to do anything, bar contain him in our small room. My daughter (5) had horrific nightmares of the druggies that hung out in the hallway, and my other daughter (5) started wetting the bed and having asthma attacks. They were at school all this time which was 15 miles away, again very costly, but the local school wouldn't accept them, because we weren't 'permanently' housed in the area

You know it's funny, you realise who your friends are and how 'blood' isnt thicker than water, when all around you are suddenly in a position where they cannot help. (Sorry, I know you're homeless, but we can't put you up for a few days, as we have a dinner party on Thursday !) Suddenly friends and family stop calling, so you find yourself with no-one too. Before anyone thinks, 'Oh my family wouldnt be like that', Think on ! My family would have moved the earth for me before we went to Aus.

2 days before we were being evicted from the B & B,(because we weren't ELIGIBLE for help from the Government) we finally found a landlord after a year of searching, that would accept us AND our children (warily) without a deposit, that we could pay over the next 2 months. It was our only chance. We moved in with nothing. We both found jobs pretty quickly, badly paid, but jobs nevertheless. We scrimped every penny to pay back the deposit and buy second hand furniture. nearly 4 years on and we are still in very low paid jobs, and just can't seem to progress anyway, no matter how hard we try, or how many extra little jobs we have, so no chance of ever getting on this stupid housing ladder.
Our experience is shameful and embarassing.
We sit here in a Flat, that we've tried to make the best of, with our children, and wonder what the hell happened to our happiness, wondering if our Landlord, like so many others, will want to sell the property on, so we have to move YET AGAIN.

We hate it here, our children hate it here, it's affected all our health and our lives are a misery the majority of the time, except for little things that happen now and again to brighten the mood.

Just how important is Money ????

Money is the World and the answer to everything if you have NONE.

Good Health doesn't get you a roof over your head, secure your children, protect your family, or get you out of the gutter you are in and those are the things that are most important.

I'd rather have money any day

Now I'll go back in my box, thoroughly embarassed and place my paper bag back over my head.

Shivster

Mally you have no reason at all to be embarrased. None whatsover. There but for the grace of God go so many other people.

I don't bitch about going home broke because I'm single and have a place to stay when I get back. I'm lucky in that my parents and best friend are fantastic but I know that were it not for them I'd either be staying here or literally going back with no place to stay.

Good luck to you and I really really do hope that things turn around for you and your family.