Fili

Hi there,

What options have a working mum of the infant in USA? Does state provide some care for infants during time when parents are at work? or is it all in private hands and therefore parents need to pay for this service?

penguinsix

Parents pay for their children, unless you are very poor where you can get some assistance. Funding for these programs, along with regulation of the providers varies from state to state as these are not matters handled by the federal government in Washington. A few companies have day care programs in their buildings but they can be expensive.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_care

Bob

A lot of it will depend on the state your in, but most are private day care type things and it ain't cheap...

Some places have day care as a benefit, but that's getting rare these days, MBNA use to do it, I think BoA axed it. Universities often offer free or cut price day care if you work for one.

snowbunny

and GOOD care is hard to find, even if you're willing to pay a lot.

You get on a waiting list the second you know you're pregnant. You try to find a centre where staff turnover is low, and crucially, the infant:carer ratio is also low. For example, in Texas, the maximum acceptable infant:carer ratio is 1:6, but the centre where my daughter went was 3 carers and 10 infants.

This is one of the most difficult parts of being a working parent. Sometimes the most expensive centres aren't the best; infants do not care about a pretty and new building or a load of fancy toys, they care about being attended to promptly (feeds, nappy changes) and knowing that someone is caring for them (cuddles, playing games).

AmerLisa

Isn't that what a mother is for?

Bob

not everyone in this perfect world can afford not to work though...so you'd rather the kid just got left in the cellar or something?

Silly Sod

Erm.....at risk of being petty but it is also what a father is for and kudos to Bob for pointing out the bleeding obvious. No offence Lisa

AmerLisa

Every time I go down a main street near where I live I always see a daycare that advertises that it accepts kids from 4 weeks to 12 years.....it makes me wonder why in the hell you'd have a baby if at 4 weeks you had to hand it over to strangers for hours on end each day? Would you want your new baby, Bob, in daycare at 4 weeks old?

AmerLisa

No offense taken. And you're right a father is just as liable as the mother. I just think if you're going to decide on having a kid, you better decide on staying home for a while and nurture it. And if you can't afford it, then the decision is pretty obvious.

snowbunny

Both my then-husband and I were in careers we could not leave altogether without serious loss of earning power and opportunity (scientific/engineering). I managed to wheedle and blackmail my way into working only half days until my eldest was a year old. For that first year she was in daycare a maximum of three hours a day. And I was forced to quit and stay home with the youngest due to developmental delay; then when I HAD to go back to work after separating, it took three years to find a job.

Marriages fail and women have to work; single women get pregnant; one parent loses a job and goes back to school while the other works -- I honestly think it's a rare woman that would dump her infant in daycare and happily trot off to work for twelve hours.

Silly Sod

Agreed, but not evertbody plans every step if life. My son was born when I was 17 and my daughter at 19. Dumb? Probably. Planned? Probably not but not complaining. Was life black and white? Absolutely, definately, without a doubt.....not!!!! Kids are not bank accounts or investment portfolios. Sometimes they appear and we love them non the less. If you can't afford a car don't get it. If you can't afford a kid? Tough shit.

I see your point and agree with it. Just could have been put better.

Bob

No of course I wouldn't, but we bloody couldn't afford not to....well not at 4 weeks, we can squeeze the 2 unpaid months the missus gets, i'm lucky that i get a paid month.

Bob

what's that then? abort mission?

why

this is interesting isn't it? it's the big debate of our time in history......
does having children work when you work!!!!!!

women have worked all the way through history......
yes the age old "mother and housewife" but also worked outside the home
being a child of the sixties myself... mums then didn't work...my mum worked and everyone thought that was weird...all the other kids went home for lunch from school
then by the end of secondary school it was "you can be a working women" you are equal to men...
b*llocks!!!!!! now we do all the "work" that women have done and also go to work...we loose out every time...if you don't go back to work when you have kids now people think you are weird.....
what i see on a daily basis is children who suffer.....poor little things dumped in child care all day...yes some kids thrive on it and love it...but even they have bad days and want to just be with their mum...it's so sad... i also work with mum's with post natal depression which is so common now...many of them dread leaving their little one at childcare....those women are so sad.....especially those who don't have family around (which is a huge problem as well)

i would love to know what other people think

BritGuyTN

the decision is not obvious. it may be in your mind but not in reality

thousands of kids are born to families where one of both of the parents are deadbeats and abuse or neglect their offspring, surely putting a child in daycare is a lesser evil?

a close friend of my had a kid 7 months ago, his wife (not the two of them) decided she would not be going back to work. She has always hated work and even before the kid was a lazy cow.

My mate is mortified but has no balls to stand up to her - they have now had to stop their retirement and all other long term savings, and literally never go anywhere now as there is no disposable money - he is miserable working a 60 hour week + commute and she sits at home playing with the baby - as you know at that age all they do is eat, shit and sleep...

Situations like this put a tremendous amount of pressure on the breadwinner of the household (typically the male)

We have a decent income, but since i'm on my wifes insurance we would lose a total of $60k ish a year if she did not work - thats a lot of cash

if the partners skill set or experience does not allow them to earn enough to make daycare worthwhile then thats a different matter entirely

being a stay at home mum is much more of an american thing which is the reason I think for the different viewpoints from the american females on this board...