rebs

Agreed - I was thinking the exact same point when I was reading Bob's post!

Sally Redux

That really hit home for me.

But you can put me down now

N1cky

Yeah. Thanks Sally. You can put me too

roximum

doesnt anyone on here have anything positive to say. i asked for advice not put downs, we dont have any support in the uk friends or family, hence why we moved 250 miles from them all. ok so maybe the us isnt what we need but i would appreciate some POSITIVE advice not all doom and gloom. as ive said in past messages i know it will not be easy i never once perceived it would be. i know we have to take the good with the bad, and if we were not willing to work hard in another country then we would stay here and sponge off the state owever we are a hard working couple. i do understand education ect isnt any better than. ok maybe you all love the uk and what crap it has to offer but personally we as a family would rather leave and close the door never to return.
we have looked at the pros and cons of moving abroad and as we have discussed theres nothing to stop us from making a better life for oursleves as a family. ok so if we do decide on the U.S or wherever and it doesnt work at least we tried. nothing ventured nothing gained
we have a lot of personal reasons why we want to leave the uk but none i would discuss on a forum with people i dont know. so please dont judge me or my family. all we asked for was some advice

christmasoompa

Which you've been given!

People have just been questioning why you want to move to the US (there are loads of other countries that would give your kids a better life) and how you think you'll get into the US, one of the most difficult countries to get a visa for. Fairly valid questions I would have said.

It's called a 'discussion' - and shockingly, you'll find quite a few of them on an open discussion forum.

N1cky

I think what people are trying to say roximum is that creating a 'better life' isn't done by moving country, its done by changing the things in your life that you are unhappy with.

Personally a better life for me would be to be able to pick my daughter up from school at 3.30 each day, rather than her going to after school care and me picking her up at 6.00. I lived in Yorkshire, Buckingham, and now LA, and have not been able to get a job that would allow me to do this. It would make no differenece where I was in the world, in my opinion this simple change would make my whole family's life better.

There are positives here, its wonderful to have a pool in the garden, be 30 minutes from fantastic beaches, 2 hours from skiing in the winter, 1 hour from Disneyland, we can eat outside most nights if we chose to. But does any of this make my life better?

Before I left the UK I thought I would never look back, I wasn't close to my family and thought my new life would by hunky dory. I'm not unhappy and I would never say to anyone don't do it. But you can't ask people for advise and then complain when they tell you things you don't want to hear. People are just being realistic, and these are hurdles you will have.

Its a bit general asking how to make your life better, ask specific questions and you will get lots of positive answers from people on this site.

YoungSteve17

My mother and i moved here to live with my American father to find that "better life" everyone seems is looking for. Apart from being slightly more financially stable my family still has the same problems it had living apart and we are living in the same conditions we were back in England. Same old stuff just different scenery. We just have a little bit more dosh with two parents now, nothing really has changed.

RoxiMum have you ever been to the U.S before ? How old are your kids ? It can be very difficult for kids to move away from home.

sleepysnooze

Hi Roximum

The main hurdle you will have to jump is the visa issue. Please see http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Pulaski's_Ways:_How_to_Live_and_Work_in_the_USA

This is a very difficult process. Unless one of you is a US Citizen, or unless you have a spare $500,000 to invest, you are going to find meeting the visa requirements extremely difficult. You would could look at a H1-B visa - but to get this you have to have skills which are in very short supply, the US company has to spend a lot of time and money sponsoring you, the company has to demonstrate that there is no American able and willing to do the job if it is a permanent visa, and even then there is no guarantee because there is a quota - in short, it is extremely difficult to get. An easier route is to to get an intra-company transfer, but there are still difficulties, and if your hubby lost his job or changed job you would have to leave.

Perhaps consider Canada, New Zealand or Australia?
Best of luck.

tonrob

Here we go again...

Light blue touch paper - stand well back (with popcorn, of course).

Sally Redux

What we are gently trying to point out is that 'crap' is relative.

Your plans seem unclear and as has been suggested, more specific questions would help.

Kate2112

Hi Roximum,

Welcome to BE Forum!

Many of the posters replying from the US are here because they have married an American. There perspective will be slightly different to yours as many havent really wanted to be in the US or miss the UK and their friends and family a great deal.

You are looking at it from a different perspective, a pioneering perspective I will guess - where you want to make a better life for your family as many of the early immigrants from the UK to the US, Australia and Canada had.

If I have any useful advise to give you I would say consider both Canada and Australia as the Visa requirements are within your reach and wont require the years of waiting that getting to the US would almost certainly take.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

srah

It's the same shit just a different bucket wherever you live in the world. If you change your shit you may well be happy where you are and save yourselves a lot of money as a result.

Bob

Okay, to put things bluntly, you've probably got snot all chance of getting a visa for the US unless there's a mountain of cash you've got tucked away.

With that out the way, you've still not said what you tangentially want out of life that will make your life better.

You need to figure out what you like and hope to get from being in one country and how you can get that to improve things and use as a reason, not just what you are running away from because that's the worst reason anyone spouts and the biggest reason for people returning after finding out the grind is the same old shit just in another country.

Just Jenney

I totally agree with Bob. People who are expecting the grass to be greener someplace else usually find themselves gravely disappointed. When you're talking about moving to a different country, you're not just trading one bucket of shit for another, but you're also taking on additional stresses due to an unfamiliarity with the new country's culture, language, norms and customs, and generally how things work. We would be doing Roxiemum a huge disservice by only telling her what she wants to hear.

~ Jenney

Sue

Hi roximum,

People aren't trying to be doom and gloom merchants, or put you down, they really are trying to give you some good advice. Life here has it positives and it's negatives just like the UK. People who live here moan about immigrants, the health system, schools, jobs, etc, etc just like they do in the UK. What others are trying to point out to you is that due to the economy many, many people have lost their jobs in the US and its extremely difficult for people to move here at the best of times but even more so due to the current economic climate. No one is trying to rain on your parade, honestly. They are just trying to help.

As someone as already suggested the best thing you can do to start is to read this page in the wiki and decide if you fit into any of those criteria.

Regards

Sue