contactandynow

Hi All

I havent bothered upto now to write to these forums as they usually seem to post pics of drunken brits having a "great" time together which isnt really me...

However I fee so down that I am giving it a go...

I was married to an American in May and am going through the green card process at great personal and financial cost - it means I cant leave the US until i get it which has removed my safety (read sanity) valve!!

Dont get me wrong, I love the climate and the cheapness of here in Santa Monica but I gradually get dragged down by the shallowness and high drama of the yanks here and no being able to leave has added to this. before you say it I know the UK is not utopia by any means, but even the few brits I know here get very homesick or massively frustrated by living here. Maybe its like many places, great place apart from the locals...

There is a possibilty of moving north to the bay area in pursuit of abit more "normality" but having just been there for a wedding I am not convinced...

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to cope over here so i can maintain my sanity (and marriage) - please dont sugest joining clubs to meet locals as my experience sofar sugeests that the less i see of the the superficial, high drama, vitamin popping locals then the better I will be.

thanks for your help

Andy

anotherlimey

Hi Andy, welcome; this is a great place for people to vent as we all have things in common and it's likely we've all been through similar problems.

As to the shallowness, I just ignore it; the only place I can't is at work (with all the office politics), but I just make sure I do my job properly which doesn't win me many friends, but I'd rather not "know" them TBH.


-tom

anotherlimey

PS: there's a few people on the board near you:

http://www.frappr.com/beusa

Pony

Hi and welcome to BE.
What an introduction!
Sometimes you can get into a negative mind-set. Reading between the lines it appears you have tarred all 'yanks' with the same brush. Which begs the question why did you marry one? If your wife is not 'shallow', then perhaps you realize not all people here fit the stereotype you chose.
Perhaps the problem is not with the people themselves, but in fact with how you perceive them. Maybe you are looking in the wrong places if everyone you meet displeases you. Surrounding yourself with homesick Brits will only add to your sorrow.
Get out and enjoy life, its over before you know it. Remember, you are a long time dead!

Elvira

Can't help you on the homesickness front as I am trying to cope with that myself, without much success.

However, what do you mean you can't leave the US until you get your GC? You just have to apply for Advance Parole.

Jerseygirl

Welcome to BE...its a lifesaver for homesick Brits.

Pony

Elvira has a point

http://www.uscis.gov/graphics/formsfee/forms/i-131.htm

fatbrit

CAUTION: OP may have an overstay!

Elvira

Good point - never thought of that!

Pony

The only time I used to get homesick was when I got home. I love it here. I'd never go back to the UK. I call the US my home now, so for me to be homesick I'd have to be outside the US.
Sure the US has its fair share of crazies, but so does any country. I've rebuilt a new life here - family, home, job, and all the 'trimmings'. I'm a strong believer that life is what you make of it, glass half empty or glass half full. Granted sometimes I get depressed or tired of something, but I did when I was in England. I suppose part of the cure for being homesick is to stop calling another country home . . .

britvic

Welcome to BE it's early days yet, chin up mate we've all been there, if no one out there brings a to your face, this lot will.

contactandynow

Hi All

I appreciate your thoughts / commretns

yes Dave you are right, I suppose I did join with a bang!! - then again it did stimulate some replies didnt it??!

I can see both sides of the coin and in prticular Dave is right to say dont tar all with the same brush - afterall I did marry an American...

However i did make it clear that I dont see the UK as the be all and end all - I have plenty of friends and family over there to convince me of that! So yes I agree it is what you make of it - I would just like the opportunity to meet some normal people every now and again rather than have to be subjected to everyones drama over here - And yes i know that's why LA is called LA LA Land - my only concern is that its the same everywhere and so there is nowhere to aspire to...

Having said that I have met the brit husband of my wife's friend (if you can follow that!) and he says he misses the grey and rain of manchester more than anything - when it was stormy here earlier in the year he was outside in the downpur doing a rain dance to continue it - who said the yanks were mad...

NB: my final gripe is the way the yanbks think their way is the only way ie coloured people are BLACK over here or you are being disrespectful, dont double dip your chip etc etc - drives me nuts...

thaks once again to all - I feel a little better...

If anyone knows of a way to get some gainful employment over here - I would be grateful as well as that may help things...

anotherlimey

My pet hate is ego-stroking and sucking up... "Oh you look so good in that", "You've lost weight", "Do you like my new hair"... etc.. etc..

Although I think that may be a survival instinct!

Esquimaux

you crack me up .. what's "normal" ? English ? you're abroad mate its different ....the more you fight the differences the harder it becomes, we struggled with this for the first six months. I love LA, its a great a city, I like the diversity, I like the differences - isn't that part of the fun ?

.....unfortunately on here the majority of posters are still harping on about Marmite, M&S and the BBC which is great if thats whats important to you, it wont help you assimilate though (if thats what you to do)

Jerseygirl

Take no notice....if life was so wonderful as some claim they wouldn't have time to spare on BE....no matter what they say.