WEBlue

I agree that this is a real concern in bi-cultural families. And it does need to be examined and dealt with between the two of you.... no matter what you decide to do.

In an ideal world, all of our children would have the exact same visa or passport options for their futures. But--unfortunately--sometimes (for one reason or another completely beyond our or the childrens' control), there's just no way to make visa possibilities equal for all our children. It's sad and unfair, but it happens.

I have a British friend who's going through this--the younger child moved with her to another country when she married a national of that country, and that child will be able to become a dual citizen eventually. Her older child (still in uni in the UK) will not have the same chance. The older child handled the situation well for a time after the move, but eventually began to express anger and loss at being "abandoned" by his mother. So they're both working through some difficult feelings now....

IMO, it may be best to at least TRY to talk some of the emotional ramifications out beforehand.

Noorah101

I might have missed something in this thread, but where did the OP say his family is bi-cultural?

Rene

jeffreyhy

My take is that he's thinking that those family members who emigrate to the USA are going to quickly adopt American culture and leave their British culture behind, where the two cultures differ, while the family member who remains in the UK will retain his British culture. Thus creating a bi-cultural family.

Regards, JEff

WEBlue

Yes, exactly. The OP's family is not bi-cultural yet, but if some or all of a particular family's members move to a foreign country, I think bi-cultural influences do begin to kick in. These influences can especially be highlighted if one member of the family stays behind in the home country, even if he/she visits.

Living in two countries has a possibility to divide a family along cultural lines; it's happened in my own family. It's not necessarily bad, this division, and can work out well for everyone, but in some cases there can be stress to the family unit.

dfrbrowne

It's been a difficult few days thinking all this through but looks like we have decided to come over and give it a try, we will rent instead of buy and review year by year as life choices come along for all the family.

Flabound oneday

honestly, a 21 year old is probably soon going to be off doing his own thing.....he will probably tell you next week he has met a girl online from Australia and is emigrating............with you being here he has the chance to come visit and maybe meet a nice American girl !!!!!

both my kids stayed in England, they are happy there, my daughter is pursuing a career as a surgeon BUT she is quite happy to come and see us twice a year (arriving tomorrow)

Steve_

The CSPA would cover this situation if he's got the AOS underway: http://www.hooyou.com/ageout/index.html

Steve_

You didn't mention what happened to your previous wife, are you divorced?

Honestly based on what I've seen happen both personally and on this forum you are being much more parentally concerned than average, I have to say. Not that that is a bad thing but by way of comparison...

I know someone who did E-2 and they couldn't afford foreign tuition fees for F-1 so when he aged out at 21 they just shipped him off to the UK and he stayed with his grandmother for awhile. He'd been to school in the US and knew basically no-one in the UK.

I've seen some pretty grim stories on forums like this.

Pulaski

Ouch!

Lbjen

I feel like most of the older kids that get brought over tend to end up going back as soon as they can anyway, at least that's been the experience among the few expats I've known over the years.