dfrbrowne

I have posted previously on our upcoming move to Florida with my wife's work.

Everything is progressing along and we had a week in Tampa at the beginning of the month to look at housing and schools for our two children aged 8 and 5. The company my wife is moving with are giving gull support with relocation service providers and visa attorneys. As soon as we are in situ the company is also supporting our green card applications.

Now I also have two elder children from my first marriage, both at University here in England. All along one of the reasons I have been considering the move is the opportunities it may also provide for my two elder sons.

BUT... my eldest, in his final year is 21 years of age and cannot be considered a dependent of the family, he cannot be included in the family visa application. My second son who is currently 19 and will be at uni for another three years will be included in the visa and the green card application as he is under 21, he can even get the green card (if we get one) while remaining a student in the UK.

OK so my eldest can come on a three month tourist visa, even a B2 6 month tourist visa. His other options are an internship or a student visa if he elects to continue in education. The only way I can offer him a home is if he qualifies for a US visa on his own.

Even if in the future I become a US citizen (IF) it could still be many years before my eldest is able to live with us if he wants or needs to.

There is my dilemma...

Do I go ahead with the move knowing all this, knowing I can possibly get my second a green card and the opportunities that my hold for him in the future but I cannot do the same for my eldest.

Do I go ahead with the move knowing that even on a three month visit every summer my eldest will get to see and experience so much of the US?

Should I go ahead with the move on a "lets see what we can do in the future" attitude?

Here in the UK despite the fact that my son is 21 and independent, living his own life and has his own plans for the future, I know and he knows that if he needs a home I have a place for him.

If I move to the US I cannot say that.

Its difficult to see how I now approach this move...

I am caught between my parental feelings to all my children and the support for my wife who really has an opportunity to progress in her career and wants to make this to be an open ended maybe permanent move both selling our house in the UK and buying in the US.

Its like having a life raft for only 5 when there are 6 of us, I don't know if I can go through with it.

Anyone else had a similar experience?

Guindalf

It's NOT like having a life raft for 5. You eldest can come and visit at any time and later, when you attain citizenship, can apply and get US naturalization on his own. It's only a temporary delay that you're leaving him on the iceberg!!

I say go for it if your heart tells you it's going to give you and three of your kids better options. After all, if the eldest absolutely needs your help, you can provide it monetarily in the interim and he's virtually no worse off than he is now, while the others have the benefits.

SultanOfSwing

I'm with Guindalf - your eldest may have aged out of the ability to be included in this visa application but it doesn't mean he will never be able to come and live with or near you in the US at some point further down the line.

Nutmegger

It would not be recommended for a young person to apply for the B2 -- especially with the rest of the family in the US. A denial might result in him not even being able to use the ninety day visa waiver (it's not a tourist visa) for a period of time after that. Good luck with a tough decision.

Sally Redux

I don't see why it's a life raft either. You could still help out your eldest son if he got into difficulties, if that's what you're thinking. We have a slightly similar dilemma about leaving our 21-year-old son here if we move back to the UK next year (although of course he could move there himself in a worst case scenario). At what age do you cut them loose is the question I suppose.

SultanOfSwing

Can we make it fifteen? Please ... ?

Sally Redux

Wouldn't it be great if it was still 13 like Bar Mitzvahs?

SultanOfSwing

I can't talk, really, I was 26 when I finally left my mother's house (to come here).

jeffreyhy

Being a dependent or not is not relevant. Age and marital status of offspring are the only things that are considered for immigration.

That aside, why does he need to emmigrate to the USA with you? If he doesn't jump out first, it's time to kick his ass out of the nest anyway.

Regards, JEff

Pulaski

Life isn't easy, nor are the decisions life throws our way. Are you seriously considering abandoning an opportunity for four or five of you, just because the sixth can't benefit as easily? Life gives us all opportunities, and other opportunities will no doubt come the way of your son, for him to grab or turn down as he sees fit, but what would you think if you stayed in the UK, but a year after graduating your son lands a job in California, or Hong Kong? You are on a hiding to nothing if you try to second guess what your adult children will do, and try to arrange your life to fit in with what you guess they will be doing two, five or ten years from now.

I had to actively dissuade my parents from upping sticks to move close to where my sister was working after she graduated, and I'm glad I did as a few years later she upped and moved across the country, then emigrated within Europe, before crossing the pond with her husband. My parents would be stuck in an area they were not familiar with, with no relatives and few friends in the area.

I've not had the same decisions to make as you, but I wish I had seen my parents more often than has been possible since I emigrated. My sister got mad with me that I left the UK, and she criticised me for "abandoning" our parents .... then less than two years later she emigrated too!

dfrbrowne

Thanks for that, there have been some good comments and I recognise what you say Paul. Something for me to think about.

JAJ

We more usually see the opposite scenario - adult children either concerned by the impact their move/emigration may have on their parents, or under some kind of pressure from parents not to move.

In the ordinary course of events, you shouldn't have to plan on the basis of "providing a home" for adult children. Note that you can still provide monetary support (although be aware of any U.S. or U.K. gift tax obligations if you do).

Is the 21 year old studying for a degree that's likely to lead to a career?
And is he happy living in the U.K., being British etc - if so, would he even want to move to the United States?

dfrbrowne

yeah he is happy in the UK but was excited at the prospect of having a US option for the future. Plus we are quite close.

I maybe thinking too much into it, I just feel uneasy being able to say to my 19 year old here is the opportunity for you in case you want it, but not to my 21 year old.

I know they have their own lives and should make their own plans but it would be nice to know they have options.

hoffage123

Like you say he can still visit and you will have the opportunity at some point to petition to bring him across if he really wants ... or on those "Summer" trips, set him up with a few American girls *nudge/wink* and he can start his own transatlantic adventure

Hoffage

JAJ

Of course.

Note that green card holders are expected to live in the United States and spending too much time outside the U.S. can cause loss of status.

Also be aware that U.S. citizens and green card holders outside the United States still need to file federal (and in some cases State) income tax returns and comply with U.S. requirements on reporting, for example, reporting non-U.S. bank accounts to the U.S. Treasury.

Separately - you and your wife need to be aware of all the tax issues involved too. If you're not aware, you need to start understanding these straight away as it will avoid a lot of complications later on. Also, there may be certain tax planning opportunities that could require action before the earlier of January 1 and the date you move to the U.S.

So holding a U.S. green card is not a cost free option, nor is it something that can be held onto indefinitely without maintaining some residential ties to the United States.

Your 19 year old - you will need to act quickly on green card to stop his age-out and if he is in the U.K. then you need to work with your attorneys on logistics. Would he come to the U.S. and then be included when you file Adjustment of Status, or would he apply for an Immigrant Visa at the U.S. Embassy.