CaliforniaBride

Dear:

[ ] Clueless Newbie [x]Lamer [ ] Flamer
[ ] Loser [ ] Spammer [ ] Troller
[ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek
[ ] Freak [ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis
[ ] Racist [ ] Fed [ ] Homeopath
[ ] Fundamentalist [ ] Satanist [ ] Xenophobe
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person

I took exception to your recent:

[ ] Email [x] Post to Britishexpats.com (USA Forum)

It was (check all that apply):

[ ] Lame [x ] Stupid [ ] Abusive
[x] Clueless [ ] Idiotic [ ] Brain-damaged
[ ] Imbecilic [ ] Arrogant [ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible [ ] Libelous [x] Ignorant
[ ] Boring [ ] Dim [ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful [ ] Demented [ ] Self-righteous
[ ] Crazy [ ] Weird [ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome [ ] Satanic [ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent [ ] Mind-numbing [ ] Maladroit
[ ] Much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be
capable.

Your attention is drawn to the fact that:

[ ] You posted what should have been emailed
[ ] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line
[ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup
[ ] You self-righteously impose your religious beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously impose your racial beliefs on others
[ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group
[ ] You don't know which group to post in
[x] You posted something totally uninteresting
[ ] I don't like your tone of voice

[ ] You seem to think you can waltz into Florida

[ ] You think Florida would make a great place to live, without ever having lived there
[x ] You quoted an *entire* post in your reply
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread
[ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[ ] You posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam
[ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than in alt.test
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted low-IQ flamebait
[ ] You need to do a search for the 50,000 other similar messages like this
[ ] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You make no sense
[ ] Your sig/alias is dreadful
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme
[ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal
[ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable.
Each line just goes on and on, not stopping at 75 characters, making
it hard to read.
[ ] You posted a message written in ALL CAPS
[ ] Your post was FULL of RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of this newsgroup.
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet.
[ ] You are a loser.
[ ] This has been pointed out to you before.
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed on general principles.

It is recommended that you:

[x] Get a clue
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Go away and do some research on how to get a visa
[ ] Grow up
[x] Never post again, until you understand what the delete button is for
[ ] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week
[ ] stop reading Usenet news and get a life
[ ] stop sending Email and get a life
[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Have your medication adjusted
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] find a volcano and throw yourself in
[ ] get a gun and shoot yourself
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup for even remotely thinking you can live here.
[ ] consume excrement
[ ] Visit Florida for without taking the kids to see Mickey Mouse.
[ ] Post your tests to alt.test/misc.test
[ ] Put your home phone number in your ads from now on
[x] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're
doing

In Closing, I'd Like to Say:

[ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] *plonk*
[ ] Learn how to post or get off the usernet
[ ] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[x] Some of the above, not including all of the above
[ ] You are so clueless that I didn't even bother filling in this
form.

CaliforniaBride

Doesn't look like much could be done either way in that department

fatbrit

How the hell do you think I managed 3000+ posts to your dinky 2000 or so!

CaliforniaBride

Loneliness? Boredom? Run out of food?

fatbrit

In the land of plenty? Don't be silly!

wraith

,


thanks - should have known better than ask another Brit for help, dont think ill bother again

CaliforniaBride

Ahem! Now I'm losing patience. I posted you a link to an article that clearly explains your options. I can understand Manc's frustrations and some posts are really for the amusement of regular posters and not really meant for you to take personally.

Anway, have you read the link I gave you? Have you found yourself qualified under any of the criteria?

fatbrit

So, come on! Brit without a sense of humour, eh? You presumably read the list of ways. Which one are you going for?

wraith

yes i have read the link - and yes i am qualified , but the initial question was about the process, not my status, and in reply to the quote about visiting without going to disney land - who even mentioned i have kids,( i do) i have been regularly visiting us for 4 years now and just because i like florida, people automaticaly asume your a beach bum looking for the sun, i happen to have friends near by and would like to see them,the uk is dead now and pardon me for wanting abetter life for my children...goodnight and goodbye

syllk

A Brit with no sense of humour should fit in just perfectly with plenty of Americans I know.

fatbrit

And he can happily visit them on his VWP!

fatbrit

So which visa do you qualify for?

Big D

calm down and dont take offence. You are being mocked slightly as many people post here who have no hope in hell of getting a visa, many of who want to move to Florida as they have been there on holiday.

The process is very complicated and confusing - and it depends hugely on what visa etc you will try and come over on. Give us some more details and you will get some useful and friendly advice.

The cost of this advice is some gentle ribbing and piss taking - no harm intended. So come on share more info and we may be able to help some more.....

antjen

nicely done - i like your style lol!!

Ant

CaliforniaBride

I don't know why you are ranting at me. I gave you some useful information. Before we start giving you advice on where to live I think you need to be sure you CAN live here. And before you start getting all arsey and hitting out at the wrong person remember if you're so clueless now you're going to need a lot of help whichever route you take to getting here.

I wish you the best of luck with the immigration process but I guarantee you it's far more complicated than you would imagine. You'll have plenty of time to decide between picket fence or chain link while you being processed. In the meantime I'd familiarize myself with that process.

Incidentally which criteria did you satisfy? Oh and it's good afternoon here, you see I'm here legally already.