ksa1stlady

TLDR: I have been offered a job in America by my company and would like to know how much I should budget for cost of living in Maine, whether the salary they have offered is enough, and whether moving my children to Maine is a good idea overall.

My company has offered me remote job in America together with a promotion. My fiance is from Maine so if we went we would move there to be close to his family. He hasn't lived in Maine with his own family before (he left the state years before we met) so has no idea of how much it would cost to raise a family there.

Does anyone have either a good starting point of costs we should consider, or a website they might be able to point me to that helps plan budgets out?

Along with financial considerations, I am also concerned about moving my girls to America given active shooters, female autonomy, race relations etc and whether we would be better off staying in SW London.

For context:

• I have 2 children - 12 & 2. My eldest is from another father and is mixed race.
• We are currently a single income family, as my fiance is a stay at home Dad. I earn £147 base + ~ £35k bonus (last year they paid out 74% so ~24k)
• After mortgage, bills, debt repayment, savings and family commitments, we are left with about £1k p/m disposable income.
• The salary offered in the US is $190k + $45k bonus
• I have a hefty mortgage (Thanks Liz - currently ~ £2.7k pm) and would like to retain my house if we move so we can return in the summer for my eldest to see her father. So renting it out is not an option, though my brother could live in it and bring the mortgage down by about £500, plus cover all the bills.
• My eldest is one of the best secondary state schools in the country, but has also been accepted into an incredible private school in Maine (which will cost ~ 50k per year). Putting her into a local state school in Portland Maine is not an option given the low levels of diversity and education. (The private school is 20% ethnic minorities in a state that has less than 2% ethnic minorities).
• My youngest is not yet in child care, but we want to start her from 2 years old which would bring our UK disposable income down to around £500 p/m (but only till May 2025 when my CC debt will be paid off, then it will go back up to ~ £1k.

Is there any other information I can provide? We are all in good health but are considering having another child soon due to my age. I would likely come back to the UK for the birth as I would like my child to be British by birth not descent, so that would alleviate hospital costs, but I would likely only get 3 months partial paid mat leave in America (currently I can get 6 months fully paid here with the same company).

Thanks all for your help!

christmasoompa

SW London to Maine is going to be a big change, that's for sure. If the job is remote, could you not move elsewhere in the US? Somewhere like Boston maybe so your fiancé is still close to his family but with a less rural/more diverse feel?

Worth looking at short term rentals maybe? So you could cover your mortgage, make some money on top, and still be able to use the house when you visit?

It would alleviate them as I suspect it will be much cheaper in the UK than the US, but you'll still have to pay there as you will no longer be entitled to free non emergency care under the NHS. And of course you'd have to spend quite a bit of time in the UK as you won't be able to fly too close to the birth.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

SanDiegogirl

What visa are you obtaining for the move? Does your company have a presence in Maine?

Must say I don't understand your income figures.
It appears that your income in Maine will just be the dollar equivalent of your British income i.e your 147K GBP + 35KGBP = $190K + $45K; so how will you be able to continue to pay your UK mortgage, your Maine private school and your accommodation costs in Maine when your current financial commitments only leave you with around 1KGBP disposable income now?
Additionally there will be medical insurance costs in the US to be taken into consideration.
As stated if you are not resident in the UK you are not entitled to use the NHS.

Owen778

This sounds like a bad idea to me, or at least what you propose in detail:
1. You'd be taking on a lot of extra cost for the US house, health insurance and medical costs, private school and flights to and from the UK, and it sounds like you also want to retain all your costs in the UK. That doesn't sound feasible.
2. Usually US salaries are higher than the UK and your proposed US salary isn't, though that may be less of a problem when comparing London suburbs to Maine. It's weird that they're offering you what's supposedly a promotion, but with basically no pay rise.
3. You would likely need to get approval from the father of your eldest to take her out of the country. My (step-)children travel from Alaska to Texas three times a year, which I wouldn't recommend to anyone without very good reason, and your 12yo would have to make a journey of similar length.

When I married my American wife, she already had three children by her previous marriage, so I knew that it made much more sense for me to move to be with her in the US. It sounds like you and your fiance are in a similar but reversed situation.

The US is a very varied country. All of the things you mention are issues, but some of them are exaggerated in the foreign media, and it also depends very much on the area you move to.

porkedpie

Agree with some of the others - the money situation is way off. Seems like they've just converted your current pay to USD, which does not account for cost differences. If your company already employees people in the US in your role I would be v surprised if that's what they're on. My ballpark estimate is double your UK income and add a dollar sign to keep about the same standard of living i.e. you would want $295k base + $70k bonus. Granted this is true in NY/NJ and Boston which are VHCOL, but Maine is not cheap either. And you're talking about keeping two houses and $50k on private school.
If you make $225k and fill your 401(k) then your take home will be $137k. Less private school fees is $87k. $7k/month is not going very far for a family of four including housing and healthcare especially if you want vacations or trips home.

Pulaski

I agree with the others, that the income and expenses projection don't add up - I don't see how you can keep paying the UK mortgage AND add $50k of school fees, and make your budget balance. In fact, even without any school fees, I think your budget would be very tight, not least because of the cost of frequent trips back to the UK that you apparently anticipate. I understand that you would "like" to keep your house in London, but if you would also "like" to move to Maine, I think you need to decide which you "like" more.

And I'm not sure what you're getting for $60k of school fees, but that amount is just bonkers, and I say that from the perspective of having put my own daughter through one of the most expensive schools in NC. My daughter has 14 months to go and we have her final year's fees to pay in a couple of months, but the cost is still barely more than half what you say you'll be paying!!! I am guessing the fees you mentioned are based on the school being in the "greater Boston area".

PetrifiedExPat

You will not be eligible for 'free' non-emergency NHS care

PetrifiedExPat

Greater Boston area has world class private schools around ~60k/year, currently hemorrhaging faculty to the UMass system which is rapidly catching up and much cheaper.

DallasMama

First off, if the position is fully remote why do they require you to relocate to the US? Will this even qualify for visa sponsorship?
Secondly, your partner has lived this long being away from his family, even if you moved somewhere else on the East Coast he would still be much closer to them.
Paying $50k a year for private school because your child is mixed race is absolutely bizarre. Keep in mind your take home pay will be about 30-40% less than your annual pay, you are in a pretty high tax bracket.
Two year old going to daycare…that’s at least $1k per month which is doable if Dad is going back to work. Local church pre-k or local public school pre-k (starting at 3) for a few hours a day is more like $500.
Keeping the house in the UK unoccupied- why??? If oldest goes over in the Summer surely they will stay with Dad??? Or even get an Airbnb? How does he feel about his kid moving to the US?
Lastly, there’s no saving on medical bills by giving birth in the UK since you will still have to pay. And what if the baby ends up in the NICU? And surely you’ll still be a US employee and just receive 3 months maternity leave?
Moving makes sense if Maine is actually where the whole family wants to live, not just your partner, and if you rent out the UK house.

SanDiegogirl

The OP has never returned....

Another 'lots and lots of questions' post - with a complex, current-living situation.

Sometimes I think they are just to get the forum fired up with responses

Cynic that I am....

Pulaski

There have always been posts on BE from people looking for confirmation or reassurance, but instead get an ugly wake-up call.

I am not sure why anyone would expect anything different from a crowd who have "been there and done that", but still, many never come back after their original post/ question.

Whether that is from embarrassment, or because they were shaken to their senses by the fair, but blunt, advice they received, we never get to find out.

PetrifiedExPat

I still think it's Adrian Peterson in disguise, remember him?

PetrifiedExPat

I want to post this again because... curious:

I still think it's Adrian Peterson in disguise, remember him?

Pulaski

I have no idea who Adrian Peterson is, and Google is no help in Jogging my memory. I am notoriously bad at remembering names* but even given my bad memory for names, I am inclined to say that I don't think I have ever heard of anyone named Adrian Peterson.

* Though I am great at remembering numbers of all sorts - I can tell you the phone number at the house my parents moved out of in 1976, the reg number of a car that my father sold around 1983, my high school's post code (which given that I have never needed to write to, I have never actually needed to use), and a fair number of the product codes at the United Biscuits warehouse where I worked when I was a student .... 11180 were cases of 400g digestives, and 11172 were the 250g packs of the same biscuits.

PetrifiedExPat

I guarantee I butchered the spelling!

He was prolific on here for about 6 months, concocting all sorts of scenarios for how/why he should come to the US. It was amusing since he was a) genuine, b) to stupid to know that he was trolling, c) had no hope...