Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
Feb 5th 2015, 9:51 pm
#1
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 19
Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
I tried to be clever in the title to this thread, and as is usually the case it's probably not very clever at all - the question is simply is it time for me to go home?
Maybe you'll identify with some of this, and maybe not, but I'll tell you that 10 years ago I would have laughed at it, all of it.
I have been here for 14 years now courtesy of a long dead marriage to a girl I once adored. I always regarded the US as home, even going so far as to regard myself as American. But you never are, not really, your roots are there no matter how much you pretend otherwise, and the older you get the stronger they get.
The US has been good to me, very good, and I will always be grateful for my time here. When my parents were younger they would come over for visits, they loved to sit out by the pool sunbathing and snoozing on the edge of the desert while the UK froze to death, my dad would insist on me making him dry Martinis "like in the movies" dear lord they loved it - but as old age took its inevitable toll on them and they started booking tickets to the wrong airport it fell to me to start taking the trip back to the UK to visit them instead. I can honestly say that with each passing year I hated those visits more and more and lived in dread of them coming due. I hated the journey (I'm on the West Coast), 10 hours of nightmare in coach with puking babies and drunken squaddies, so I started flying first class to take away some of the pain which means I get to doubly resent both the vacation time I lose AND the ridiculous money I blow on 2 first class flights twice a year. Basically the UK became my only vacation spot - and I originally came to the US to travel......fail.
Then there was the UK itself.
I hated the change I saw in our society, I hated all the traffic congestion, I hated the weather, I hated all the cynical humor and negativity, I hated the crazy prices, the overcrowded restaurants, the tiny cars, the lack of parking spaces, I hated how no one ever seemed to have any money, in fact I hated almost everything - but I loved my family, and that outweighed the rest, so off I went, Captain Grumpy Pants.
My home county is Cheshire, it's all leafy lanes, green fields and the occasional Hobbit. I now have one parent in a care home and one struggling to live on her own with failing eyesight, and no siblings - yes, I have actually lectured my mother on her excessive use of contraception, I could really use a sister right about now - is that sexist ? I always tried to gauge my mood during the week or so I was over there - was my meter pegged at just miserable or was I in the red zone of absolutely foul ? I literally used to run down the jetway on the way back to the US grinning from ear to ear at the thought of going back to a "sane country" (I know, don't laugh), but moods and opinions change as you grow older that's for sure. My Godson who is now married with a baby of his own took me out to a large renovated country pub near Delamere Forest (Fishpool Hall - an old haunt) during my last visit in November - all wood timbers and rows of fine draught beer pumps, we sat by a log fire drinking bottle after bottle of Cab and munching on pan-seared pork belly and some amazing Cheshire cheese while we laughed about times and people all long gone and suddenly something clicked in my head, it really was like a switch. My godson thought I was choking on the pork belly when I suddenly went very quiet, and in that moment I knew that THIS was home, the leafy lanes, the warm beer, the friends I had so long neglected, the family who still loved me, Cheshire was home how could I have forgotten ? Bad decisions are often spontaneous in nature, I learned that the hard way, but sometimes we get a chance at redemption.
I came back just before Christmas having reached a decision that I would only stay in the US while my career remained in full afterburner, if things fell through for any reason I wouldn't seek another position, I would see it as a sign to go home. Hey after all what are the odds I said to myself, I have been leading the same group at the same company for 13 years now, I'll probably die in this job. I told my mother of my decision over the phone, "right oh, and just so you know, I'm going to pray you get the sack" she said, and she was as serious as a heart attack.
The corporate takeover was announced exactly one week later. Hey thanks God - lottery ticket wins you ignore but when someone wants me fired it's no problem huh.
So here I am, waiting to see if I do in fact get a pink slip and cautiously planning an exit strategy that I can guarantee will be excessive in nature (Vegas, New York, and a cruise home on Cunard etc etc).
So anyone want to buy some furniture ?
Maybe you'll identify with some of this, and maybe not, but I'll tell you that 10 years ago I would have laughed at it, all of it.
I have been here for 14 years now courtesy of a long dead marriage to a girl I once adored. I always regarded the US as home, even going so far as to regard myself as American. But you never are, not really, your roots are there no matter how much you pretend otherwise, and the older you get the stronger they get.
The US has been good to me, very good, and I will always be grateful for my time here. When my parents were younger they would come over for visits, they loved to sit out by the pool sunbathing and snoozing on the edge of the desert while the UK froze to death, my dad would insist on me making him dry Martinis "like in the movies" dear lord they loved it - but as old age took its inevitable toll on them and they started booking tickets to the wrong airport it fell to me to start taking the trip back to the UK to visit them instead. I can honestly say that with each passing year I hated those visits more and more and lived in dread of them coming due. I hated the journey (I'm on the West Coast), 10 hours of nightmare in coach with puking babies and drunken squaddies, so I started flying first class to take away some of the pain which means I get to doubly resent both the vacation time I lose AND the ridiculous money I blow on 2 first class flights twice a year. Basically the UK became my only vacation spot - and I originally came to the US to travel......fail.
Then there was the UK itself.
I hated the change I saw in our society, I hated all the traffic congestion, I hated the weather, I hated all the cynical humor and negativity, I hated the crazy prices, the overcrowded restaurants, the tiny cars, the lack of parking spaces, I hated how no one ever seemed to have any money, in fact I hated almost everything - but I loved my family, and that outweighed the rest, so off I went, Captain Grumpy Pants.
My home county is Cheshire, it's all leafy lanes, green fields and the occasional Hobbit. I now have one parent in a care home and one struggling to live on her own with failing eyesight, and no siblings - yes, I have actually lectured my mother on her excessive use of contraception, I could really use a sister right about now - is that sexist ? I always tried to gauge my mood during the week or so I was over there - was my meter pegged at just miserable or was I in the red zone of absolutely foul ? I literally used to run down the jetway on the way back to the US grinning from ear to ear at the thought of going back to a "sane country" (I know, don't laugh), but moods and opinions change as you grow older that's for sure. My Godson who is now married with a baby of his own took me out to a large renovated country pub near Delamere Forest (Fishpool Hall - an old haunt) during my last visit in November - all wood timbers and rows of fine draught beer pumps, we sat by a log fire drinking bottle after bottle of Cab and munching on pan-seared pork belly and some amazing Cheshire cheese while we laughed about times and people all long gone and suddenly something clicked in my head, it really was like a switch. My godson thought I was choking on the pork belly when I suddenly went very quiet, and in that moment I knew that THIS was home, the leafy lanes, the warm beer, the friends I had so long neglected, the family who still loved me, Cheshire was home how could I have forgotten ? Bad decisions are often spontaneous in nature, I learned that the hard way, but sometimes we get a chance at redemption.
I came back just before Christmas having reached a decision that I would only stay in the US while my career remained in full afterburner, if things fell through for any reason I wouldn't seek another position, I would see it as a sign to go home. Hey after all what are the odds I said to myself, I have been leading the same group at the same company for 13 years now, I'll probably die in this job. I told my mother of my decision over the phone, "right oh, and just so you know, I'm going to pray you get the sack" she said, and she was as serious as a heart attack.
The corporate takeover was announced exactly one week later. Hey thanks God - lottery ticket wins you ignore but when someone wants me fired it's no problem huh.
So here I am, waiting to see if I do in fact get a pink slip and cautiously planning an exit strategy that I can guarantee will be excessive in nature (Vegas, New York, and a cruise home on Cunard etc etc).
So anyone want to buy some furniture ?
Last edited by Fonsini; Feb 5th 2015 at 9:57 pm.
Feb 5th 2015, 10:00 pm
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 6,159
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
Drunken squaddies?
Never seen them when flying back...
Anyway good luck on whatever you decide. I'm interested in business matters...which corporate takeover was it?
(You're anonymous and presumably it's not a secret?)
Never seen them when flying back...
Anyway good luck on whatever you decide. I'm interested in business matters...which corporate takeover was it?
(You're anonymous and presumably it's not a secret?)
Last edited by Hotscot; Feb 5th 2015 at 10:03 pm.
Feb 5th 2015, 10:01 pm
#3
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,022
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
I know that corner of Cheshire you speak of. If we return to the UK it will probably be to Tarporley...although we lived nearer to Chester before moving to the US.
Feb 5th 2015, 10:06 pm
#4
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 6,159
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
Feb 5th 2015, 10:36 pm
#6
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 6,159
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
I could go a pint. It's 84 here just now...
Feb 5th 2015, 10:41 pm
#7
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
Doubt you will like it from what you've said, to be honest, especially if a trip in economy is a 'nightmare'.
Feb 5th 2015, 10:56 pm
#9
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 12
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
I tried to be clever in the title to this thread, and as is usually the case it's probably not very clever at all - the question is simply is it time for me to go home?
Maybe you'll identify with some of this, and maybe not, but I'll tell you that 10 years ago I would have laughed at it, all of it.
I have been here for 14 years now courtesy of a long dead marriage to a girl I once adored. I always regarded the US as home, even going so far as to regard myself as American. But you never are, not really, your roots are there no matter how much you pretend otherwise, and the older you get the stronger they get.
The US has been good to me, very good, and I will always be grateful for my time here. When my parents were younger they would come over for visits, they loved to sit out by the pool sunbathing and snoozing on the edge of the desert while the UK froze to death, my dad would insist on me making him dry Martinis "like in the movies" dear lord they loved it - but as old age took its inevitable toll on them and they started booking tickets to the wrong airport it fell to me to start taking the trip back to the UK to visit them instead. I can honestly say that with each passing year I hated those visits more and more and lived in dread of them coming due. I hated the journey (I'm on the West Coast), 10 hours of nightmare in coach with puking babies and drunken squaddies, so I started flying first class to take away some of the pain which means I get to doubly resent both the vacation time I lose AND the ridiculous money I blow on 2 first class flights twice a year. Basically the UK became my only vacation spot - and I originally came to the US to travel......fail.
Then there was the UK itself.
I hated the change I saw in our society, I hated all the traffic congestion, I hated the weather, I hated all the cynical humor and negativity, I hated the crazy prices, the overcrowded restaurants, the tiny cars, the lack of parking spaces, I hated how no one ever seemed to have any money, in fact I hated almost everything - but I loved my family, and that outweighed the rest, so off I went, Captain Grumpy Pants.
My home county is Cheshire, it's all leafy lanes, green fields and the occasional Hobbit. I now have one parent in a care home and one struggling to live on her own with failing eyesight, and no siblings - yes, I have actually lectured my mother on her excessive use of contraception, I could really use a sister right about now - is that sexist ? I always tried to gauge my mood during the week or so I was over there - was my meter pegged at just miserable or was I in the red zone of absolutely foul ? I literally used to run down the jetway on the way back to the US grinning from ear to ear at the thought of going back to a "sane country" (I know, don't laugh), but moods and opinions change as you grow older that's for sure. My Godson who is now married with a baby of his own took me out to a large renovated country pub near Delamere Forest (Fishpool Hall - an old haunt) during my last visit in November - all wood timbers and rows of fine draught beer pumps, we sat by a log fire drinking bottle after bottle of Cab and munching on pan-seared pork belly and some amazing Cheshire cheese while we laughed about times and people all long gone and suddenly something clicked in my head, it really was like a switch. My godson thought I was choking on the pork belly when I suddenly went very quiet, and in that moment I knew that THIS was home, the leafy lanes, the warm beer, the friends I had so long neglected, the family who still loved me, Cheshire was home how could I have forgotten ? Bad decisions are often spontaneous in nature, I learned that the hard way, but sometimes we get a chance at redemption.
I came back just before Christmas having reached a decision that I would only stay in the US while my career remained in full afterburner, if things fell through for any reason I wouldn't seek another position, I would see it as a sign to go home. Hey after all what are the odds I said to myself, I have been leading the same group at the same company for 13 years now, I'll probably die in this job. I told my mother of my decision over the phone, "right oh, and just so you know, I'm going to pray you get the sack" she said, and she was as serious as a heart attack.
The corporate takeover was announced exactly one week later. Hey thanks God - lottery ticket wins you ignore but when someone wants me fired it's no problem huh.
So here I am, waiting to see if I do in fact get a pink slip and cautiously planning an exit strategy that I can guarantee will be excessive in nature (Vegas, New York, and a cruise home on Cunard etc etc).
So anyone want to buy some furniture ?
Maybe you'll identify with some of this, and maybe not, but I'll tell you that 10 years ago I would have laughed at it, all of it.
I have been here for 14 years now courtesy of a long dead marriage to a girl I once adored. I always regarded the US as home, even going so far as to regard myself as American. But you never are, not really, your roots are there no matter how much you pretend otherwise, and the older you get the stronger they get.
The US has been good to me, very good, and I will always be grateful for my time here. When my parents were younger they would come over for visits, they loved to sit out by the pool sunbathing and snoozing on the edge of the desert while the UK froze to death, my dad would insist on me making him dry Martinis "like in the movies" dear lord they loved it - but as old age took its inevitable toll on them and they started booking tickets to the wrong airport it fell to me to start taking the trip back to the UK to visit them instead. I can honestly say that with each passing year I hated those visits more and more and lived in dread of them coming due. I hated the journey (I'm on the West Coast), 10 hours of nightmare in coach with puking babies and drunken squaddies, so I started flying first class to take away some of the pain which means I get to doubly resent both the vacation time I lose AND the ridiculous money I blow on 2 first class flights twice a year. Basically the UK became my only vacation spot - and I originally came to the US to travel......fail.
Then there was the UK itself.
I hated the change I saw in our society, I hated all the traffic congestion, I hated the weather, I hated all the cynical humor and negativity, I hated the crazy prices, the overcrowded restaurants, the tiny cars, the lack of parking spaces, I hated how no one ever seemed to have any money, in fact I hated almost everything - but I loved my family, and that outweighed the rest, so off I went, Captain Grumpy Pants.
My home county is Cheshire, it's all leafy lanes, green fields and the occasional Hobbit. I now have one parent in a care home and one struggling to live on her own with failing eyesight, and no siblings - yes, I have actually lectured my mother on her excessive use of contraception, I could really use a sister right about now - is that sexist ? I always tried to gauge my mood during the week or so I was over there - was my meter pegged at just miserable or was I in the red zone of absolutely foul ? I literally used to run down the jetway on the way back to the US grinning from ear to ear at the thought of going back to a "sane country" (I know, don't laugh), but moods and opinions change as you grow older that's for sure. My Godson who is now married with a baby of his own took me out to a large renovated country pub near Delamere Forest (Fishpool Hall - an old haunt) during my last visit in November - all wood timbers and rows of fine draught beer pumps, we sat by a log fire drinking bottle after bottle of Cab and munching on pan-seared pork belly and some amazing Cheshire cheese while we laughed about times and people all long gone and suddenly something clicked in my head, it really was like a switch. My godson thought I was choking on the pork belly when I suddenly went very quiet, and in that moment I knew that THIS was home, the leafy lanes, the warm beer, the friends I had so long neglected, the family who still loved me, Cheshire was home how could I have forgotten ? Bad decisions are often spontaneous in nature, I learned that the hard way, but sometimes we get a chance at redemption.
I came back just before Christmas having reached a decision that I would only stay in the US while my career remained in full afterburner, if things fell through for any reason I wouldn't seek another position, I would see it as a sign to go home. Hey after all what are the odds I said to myself, I have been leading the same group at the same company for 13 years now, I'll probably die in this job. I told my mother of my decision over the phone, "right oh, and just so you know, I'm going to pray you get the sack" she said, and she was as serious as a heart attack.
The corporate takeover was announced exactly one week later. Hey thanks God - lottery ticket wins you ignore but when someone wants me fired it's no problem huh.
So here I am, waiting to see if I do in fact get a pink slip and cautiously planning an exit strategy that I can guarantee will be excessive in nature (Vegas, New York, and a cruise home on Cunard etc etc).
So anyone want to buy some furniture ?
Feb 5th 2015, 11:06 pm
#10
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
Feb 5th 2015, 11:23 pm
#11
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
Wonderful post, but i get the feeling you are not really wanting to move back to the UK, just obligated to? For what it is worth, i have friends here from your neck of the woods in the UK. who moved back to the UK as they actually missed lots about the UK, only to find that perhaps it wasnt the move they wished it was afterall. Because inspite of the fact we are british, you yourself have been here a long time and we change, the Uk changes and it just isnt the same when returning. I might add they are now living back here in the US because yes they are british, but it just isnt the same there as the old saying goes....
Feb 5th 2015, 11:34 pm
#12
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Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Midlands - MA - CO-CA
Posts: 2,763
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
If you haven't got citizenship already, it may be a wise move to get it. Just incase the move back is not what you hoped for, and you choose to move back to the US.
Feb 5th 2015, 11:50 pm
#14
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 6,159
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
I feel for the parents.
Martini's by the pool, (while the UK froze to death), to senility and a care home..."the inevitable toll of old age"...in less than 14 years. Probably @ 10 years.
That's tough.
Martini's by the pool, (while the UK froze to death), to senility and a care home..."the inevitable toll of old age"...in less than 14 years. Probably @ 10 years.
That's tough.
Last edited by Hotscot; Feb 6th 2015 at 12:12 am.
Feb 6th 2015, 12:02 am
#15
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 946
Re: Go Home or Stay Home - the decision
Wow so many Cheshirians on here. I went to 6th form with the son of the Fishpool owner...but come on, winters in Che-shite [sic]? Gaaaaaah!