TouristTrap

It obviously is in the US. Can't see the real you because it isn't perfect I guess.

Sally

To me, America really would be the greatest country in the world if the population could relax and "smell the flowers" sometimes.

Elvira

I guess it would be a start...

Would be nice if they also stopped throwing their weight around in the international arena quite as much...

Irn-bru

I lived in England for 5 years, time split, and the only friends I made were a couple from South Africa, and a family from Zimbabwe, they are warm

But that obviously doesn't mean that I will say my experience is the English aren't friendly and I can't fit in.
As I know thats not the case it was just my circumstances and where I was in time, and 2 yr stints does make it hard to make friends.
But surprisingly maybe to some here, who don't have friends here, I made acquaintances that grew into friendships in the US quickly which I am grateful.

It does seem to be split down the middle re friends.

But I have been on both sides so know how hard it can be when no one gets you or you can't fit in to other 'established' friendships.

Irn-bru

Yes and especially yes

veronica jayne

Living in a big city I have many British friends here, I belong to British charities and societies and to American charities (I volunteer at the Red Cross, have not been since they moved downtown but will start again next week!) I spent most of last week at a conference in California with over a hundred Brits (all live in the US) I seem to go out more with the Brits BUT....I have some warm loving friends, British, European and American, I also know some cold, selfish people, again, not restricted to any one race. I do know people who pour their hearts out and let you pour yours out when things go wrong for you, same again, not one race over the other. Most of the New Yorkers and New Jersey people who came from the suburbs had the same relationships with their girlfriends as kids and teens as we did in the UK, in fact, years ago when I was at the age when everyone was getting married I noticed how many NY/NJ friends had their high school friends as bridesmaids, or friends they had had since kids along with their cousins just as we did. I know Brits who would give you their last penny but I know Brits who are as fake as a three pound not too!!! I must say, I did enjoy last week and some of the people I met at the convention are going on a cruise in October (from Florida to the Bahamas I think) and I have decided to go too, I do like being with Brits but there are many American friends I would go on holiday with also.

In honesty, the only (three) times I seriously considered getting married myself was to two English men and one American who's parents where from Ireland!!! Not at the same time of course Still, I had some great relationships with Americans too!
Although I believe we are a little different from each other, I don't ever see that one race is kinder, friendlier or smarter, just different. I find most Americans I know have been all over Europe and all over the States too. They just seem to come back to their own country more than we do. They seem more to go to other countries to work for a year or two and return.

snowbunny

If we were given the time....

I snatch it when I can but there's a price to be paid. I wish this culture of workaholism as a virtue would change, but given the level of spending everyone's exhorted to maintain, I don't see that changing soon.

Lycanthrop

Oh, that is good.........really. Its quite perceptive.

"Weakness is failure"..........I've never seen it put like that - but you are absolutely right.

Lycanthrop

Suppose its down to the types of septics you rub shoulders with too....... Most of the ones I have ever met have been very ordinary (except for the stint in Cali........but that may just as well have been on Mars). I have known a millionaire here and he is quite nice despite the money.....(he's religious)

Basically, the septics I've known are not well travelled at all. Not that its bad in itself, but there isn't a clear understanding that there is a "world out there". It really isn't their fault.......work environment, economy and media......(culture) all play against their ease to experience somewhere else.

How many times have you heard a septic say "America is better......just look at the third world countries"........yet they never compare America to any 1st world country........hmm?

penguinsix

That's because most Americans think of Europe as a Third World country.

Elvira

Well we are aren't we - no mixer taps, garbage disposals, automatic garage openers, power-showers, drive-through ATMs........ I tell you, it's rough...

paddingtongreen

This thread has been interesting reading, different views etc. but virtually nowhere do I see anyone looking in the mirror to see if they contribute to their own difficulties. Some of us do have our shields up, and others appear to be attacking with insulting remarks that are part of their home culture but foreign here.

I find it astonishing that people who have travelled and consider their minds to have been opened, expect the Americans to re-form the slots in their cultural jigsaw puzzle to accept the pieces from a British jigsaw puzzle. Surely logic says that the pieces should be re-shaped to fit the available slots.

As to the nation throwing it's weight around, you have to do this when you're the biggest dog in the pack, there is always someone who will push you out if they can. It is successful, Darwinian, behaviour. Allowing for progress in technologies, it is the same behaviour that was demonstrated by Britain when it was the big dog. The British were worse, in fact, because they colonized large parts of the earth by force of arms.

Sorry if I sound as though I think I'm superior. I don't, I went through the same difficulties and, looking back, I see that I did contribute to them, so I hope there is a helpful hint here.

veronica jayne

I have to say, I hear the nonsense that comes out of Bush's mouth about America but I hear 'Britain is better' a lot more than I hear that America is. There are things I don't like so much here but there are things I don't like about the UK too now.

Years ago although NY has always had British tourists destination, not a lot of working people could afford it. The last 20 years there are those 5 day shopping things with an apartment/hotel or less expensive hotel thrown in and all types of offers so everyone can afford the fare. I hear British accents all day! I have to say that almost all people I speak to plus friends and rellies who stay with me are shocked about how nice it is and how friendly the people are with them. They love it. I do hear the odd thing, sometimes it can be a hoot. I have posted before I think that I heard a waitress in a cafe ask a young Brit with a baby if she was English, she said it in a complementary way but 'young England' there said 'yis, caant yer ear the queen's English when yer ear i'? I was laughing but then I felt bad for the lovely woman who was just being polite and friendly and was shot down for her kindness. I don't know how 'young England' thought she spoke the Queen's English Did she think she was showing the good manners we always say we have? The middle aged woman, part of a couple on the subway platform who was saying in a very loud voice that the platform was a disgrace and would never do in England, lol Nothing wrong with it, clean and tidy as far as I could see. Woman was mortally offended when different American voices gave her the names of London tube stations she may want to look at Just last week I heard a Brit say to server in a restaurant as we walked in 'The Brits are here now, we will be the ones with the good manners' She was smiling and being friendly BUT could she not see how rude that was to tell someone in their own country that better mannered people were coming in?? Still from her opening line he could see they were not. A few heads looked round too, they did not seem pleased. as we don't when an American says America is better when in the UK.

I have said before, I spend most of my time with expats but we cannot keep accusing the Americans of things we do ourselves.

What is an American? Most of my expat friends have children, now grown or growing up, they came as babies or were born here to two Brit. parents. They are Americans. I meet Americans all the time who tell me mum is from Newcastle and dad from London, (many variants on the mix!) these are Americans. For those of you with children, they will be classed as Americans, they are in fact Americans. As adults, they will tell people their parents were/are Brits. but they will say it with an American accent!

veronica jayne

Paddy, I am saying it. I tell incoming Brits to smile at the New Yorkers and they will be putty in their hands. Coming in with the I AM BRITISH, I SPEAK BETTER (not all of us do, just different) I AM BETTER MANNERED (again, not always, maybe in days gonebye)

Elvira

You are basically accusing all of us here, who have found it difficult to make friends with Americans, of being bad mannered social snobs.

Nice one...