Bob

I know how you feel there

Had a good mate posting pics of his trip to Boston and I said he should have given me a shout, could have had drinks or something, he said he didn't have time as he was there for a weekend conference trip....errrr....had time to do the sites and free dinner on the conference.

So pretty much, no one is worth the hassle any more.

moneypenny20

My nephew's excuse for not visiting us when he was 30 minutes up the road for three weeks was that they were too busy at the theme parks. Put me firmly in my place.

Jaxbar

Hmmm.. I am stepping back and attempting taking the emotion out of this one and seeing how I feel.
So most of us made a very specific decision to leave our family and friends and move thousands of miles to start a new life. Is it their responsibility to make their once a year vacation a visit to see us? If someone moved to (for example) to China, would you feel duty bound to visit them there? Some people dont like travelling or dont like the US I dont blame them if they dont want to take the trip, it is a big commitment.

Full disclosure - I have been here over six years one brother, one sister and one family (close friends) have been out once each, I know my parents will never come but they didnt emigrate I did. We are the globetrotters, people have many reasons for what they do, I'm sure its not because of a lack of love. I always imagined tons of visitors... but we leave and people move on even those who we love.

Scouse Express

Just goes to show how "Goofy" he is.


Jim.

hobbes79

If it was close family, yes. But I like travelling... an opportunity to see China with a close family member who could show me the way round and provide free room and board (of course!)... I'd jump at the chance.

Case in point - my work took me to Melbourne in Australia in Dec '10. My cousin and his family lilve in Sydney. So I timed my work trip so I finished up on a Fri and paid for a JetStar plane ticket to get over there. Figured I wouldn't have many chances to see Sydney for the price of a $100 plane ticket!

When I arrived in Sydney and was saying I was thankful for them putting me up, my cousin said "well, frankly, would have been a bit rude if you hadn't come after getting as far as Melbourne".

Quite

Brat1

I think there's a happy medium. I don't "expect" family to visit, if they don't want to, it's fine. But I have found out who care, who matter in my life, and who don't and I'm fine with it

Bob

Thing is, be easy enough to meet up in neutral ground and all have a holiday and go see something you all want to such as Canada, Iceland, China, whatever, especially when those folks are probably trotting around all over anyway.

These days, with everyone moving all over the place, it just makes sense.

Really envious of one of my mates who lives in J'burg, has a sister in North Carolina and his folks live between a golf course in Spain and Bahrain and other sister in the Netherlands. They're always jetting off to random countries to see each other, going somewhere someone was able to get a deal. His FB albums are amazing, they've been to Brazil, Peru, Argentina, China, Egypt and a bunch of countries in Europe.

They all end up doing their own things with their families but split the cost of renting a holiday villa type thing and dinners together and take various kids out on day trips etc to spend time with each other but not be in each others faces.

Definitely the way to do it if you're able to

Sally Redux

Yes I agree it's not fair to expect them to come. Some of mine have came out which I'm very grateful for, none of my husband's family who are a miserable bunch of ****ers but I wouldn't see that they had any obligation to make the trip.

Uncle Ebenezer

I certainly don't expect any of my family to visit me. What I object to though, is their expectation that I should spend every available vacation flying to visit the family I "deserted". When we become adults and have our own families, we're entitled to spread our wings and plan the life that's best for our new family, without being made to feel guilty about it.

Gingerert

Wow... I feel quite spoiled.

My mother LOVES to fly (she's clearly mad), and will take any chance she can to hop on a plane and go somewhere. Now I live in the States she will often come to see me via somewhere else (various places in Canada or the US east coast). So far, over the last five years, she's been over at least once a year.

My dad (they're still married, incidentally - they just don't like travelling together) also flies out whenever possible and has been out about every 18 months or so, even though he hates flying.

My grandma even made it over in 2009! And she was in her eighties even then!

I have two sisters, one of whom is severly and profoundly disabled. However, she's been over once (with the rest of my family) and while it was hard work, everyone said they'd bring her again. The last time was 2008, and we think she'll probably be over again in the next few years.

My other sister, however... well... can I just say she and her husband are not great with their money? She's refused to come for the last five years because she can't afford it (fair enough), but my mother offered to pay for their flights for Christmas and they're STILL not coming out! She's saying she's going to try this summer because I'm expecting another baby then, but we'll see. I'm not holding my breath and the flights haven't been booked.

Friends? Nah. Not a single one has made it over yet, in 10 years. I've been back once a year or so and the ones I am "close" to demand to see me for at least drinks or dinner, but none of them would dream of returning the favour. Oh well... that's what Facebook is for, I suppose...

Sally Redux

Tell me about it.

(Not literally )

Jan Alaska

My mother told me she would never visit me in the US which was fine as she never visited me while I lived in the UK. No one else in the family has ever enquired about visiting. I did help my bestie with her airfare to visit when I first moved here and all she did was whine about there not being pubs, nightclubs and skyscrapers in our part of Michigan, spent the whole week drinking cooked a meal and gave us food poisoning the day before she left.
Never again, if I want to see them ... Ill do the flying.

Interestingly theres the other side of the coin, a friend from Michigan who moved to Arizona has spent 5 years trying to get me to visit and when I do ... silence .. no reply to emails no reply to phone calls ... says it all I guess.

scrubbedexpat099

My father does not like getting off the Sofa, my Brother comes out once a year.

My Aunt and Uncle did a few yeasr ago and that is it.

SWBO's is the one with hundreds. They have issues leaving Delaware.

Gu2Me

Parents come out for about four weeks a year and would come more if they could afford it - they bypass me at the arrivals lounge and home in on the kids - which suits me fine....

Friends have been out but my brother just bullshits that he cant afford it - after which I find he's just spent a week in LV on a stag do and has booked up 6 weeks RV;ing it around Alaska with his mates! Not to mention 'popping' over to NYC and not having time to tell me etc..jeez i'd drive down there to hang out with him. Families eh!?!

HarryTheSpider

just a thought...