Truth

Before I came here to the great state of Texas, a friend jokingly told me:

"Over there, they measure distance in miles, weight in pounds, and people in dollars."

Has anyone found this true so far?

In my opinion, I have seen this quite frequently. People are often judged on their jobs and incomes. Americans seem to measure people on the car they drive, the clothes they wear and the places they visit. I once heard a colleague of mine say about a co-worker "He's a really nice guy, but how can I possibly associate with someone who wears a 1980s style suit like he does??"

Whenever I mention that I want to become a teacher in the future, the first comment is always "You do know the salary sucks, right?". BANG - straight to money. Forget the emotional rewards, the legacy, the challenge, the commitments....let's talk cash. I mean, come on guys!

Maybe I'm looking at England now with rose tinted glasses, but I always remember days of being in a good working class pub, where you were accepted on your humor and personality. Here - it's all how big is your house, how fast is your car, does your wife take it in her balloon knot...I mean, it's ridiculous.

Thoughts?

Eskimo

the neighbours always invite us to BBQs is this why ?

anotherlimey

Yes, yes, and yes.

Just a few weeks ago my supposed friends came around froa friendly game of poker and during the game a couple of them wouldn't stop asking me how much many I earnt. They remarked it must be quite a lot if I live in an apartment on my own.

I did the British thing and told them to mind their own business. Haven't spoken to them sice then.

Shallow f******s.

ladylisa

Some of my friends are a little that way and others not. I remember when we first moved here and applied for a lease at an apartment the Manager told us she thought we earned alot. This surprised me that she discussed it as their were other people present. One of my really nice friends used to live in a fancy subdivision but she said dont ever live in one the pressure to keep up with the jones takes any enjoyment out of it.

I think generally in this country success is determined by how much money you are seen to have.

Just Jenney

That seems so strange to me, because for most Americans I know (myself included), asking someone how much money they make is taboo and seen as incredibly tactless, an invasion of privacy. I never ask anyone how much money they make -- not even my brother, with whom I'm very close. To this day I have NO IDEA what kind of salaries my parents earned at their respective jobs before they retired. No one ever asks me how much money I make, either, not my coworkers or my friends, nor do I ask them. As long as I can remember it's been this way. Maybe it's a regional thing (I've only ever lived in Virginia when living in the US), but it's just really seen as stepping over the line with practically everyone I've ever known.

~

Noorah101

I second Jenney's thoughts. I'm American, and was taught that asking personal questions - especially financial - is a big no-no. (As opposed to my hubby's middle eastern background of asking every single personal question you can think of! LOL)

Perhaps the OP just means the amount of money one "seems" to have makes a difference in how one is perceived here in the USA...which I think does ring true somewhat. Whether that perception is reality or not isn't important - it's about appearances.

Rene

mandpete

I was amazed that people over here openly discuss how much they earn. I personally would never discuss how much my husband earns (I am a stay at home Mum for now). In all the years knowing our closest friends in England we never knew how much they earned and vice versa.

We do have a couple of british friends over here and they are obsessed with how much money they earn and are desperate to know what my husband earns but they will never get to know. They also always ask how much everything costs that we buy and I never tell them that either, it just seems that most conversations we have with them the word dollar always comes into it. So it's not just Americans who are obsessed with money.

Our financial advisor over here was absolutely amazed that we have no debt apart from a 60% mortgage. The one thing that did shock me here was when assessing our future worth he asked how much inheritance did we expect to receive from our parents. I thought he was joking at first but he wasn't and told us that people can actually borrow money against how much inheritance they are expecting to receive.

Elvira

Agree - I've never been asked about how much we earn, either here or back home.

But external appearances do seem to matter more here. Everyone seems to have fairly new (albeit not necessarily quality) furniture and clothing (and cars!). In England, even quite well off people often have old and battered furniture. And everyone knows the English don't know how to dress (Susanna + Trinny anyone? ) Cars seem more battered too...

Elvira

snowbunny

Yes, yes, and yes.

But America was not as materially obsessed until the early 80s and the rise of Reaganomics.... spend spend spend and let it trickle down.

People ask because they are scared, in many ways, and want to be reassured that a) they are doing okay compared to others and b) there are still other people out there with decent jobs. We are urged to spend spend spend (and to borrow to do it) and yet consumer confidence in the future of the economy keeps falling.

I'm not materialistic, but when I went to a Man City match last summer, before I even opened my mouth, a friend of a friend *told* me that I must be American. I asked him how he knew, and he said that only an American would dress that nicely to go to a footie match!

anotherlimey

Probably more of an age thing, I'm only 24 and my "friends" are about the same age. They are still in that stage were showing off is more important than anything else.

sibsie

I honestly found it to be more that way back in London. People were far more concerned about what car you drive, how much your house it worth and what sort of job you have. We never get asked anything like that over here.

Truth

Perhaps it all ties in with the bizarre emphasis on competition here in the US. Americans seem to love to compete with everything and to see who can outdo each other.

- High School awards for class clown, best athlete, smartest student, etc

- Prom has to crown a King & Queen

- Ford trucks...the F150, then the F250, the F350, now the F350+ which is far bigger than any normal human being could possibly require

- The whole college fraternity/sororiety thing

- Careers, who has the best office, the nicest suits

- Exclusive clubs, memberships and social groups

Not to mention the Oscars, Employee of the Month, and all those other silly western creations.

Then again, as they say "If you ain't WHW in USA, give it up" LOL.

Don't get me wrong, I like it here, but as a sociology grad, these cultural issues fascinate me.

Dant3

In the neighbourhood I live in in Los Angeles, it's ALL about outward appearance of wealth. Everyone buys a plot of land and builds the widest house that will fit. These houses are only about 20 feet deep, but they're wide, very wide, so it looks like a ****ing great mansion from the road. The stone pillars are really fiberglass, the boulders in the garden are moulded plastic and the glass in the windows is really low-grade perspex. But it LOOKS big, and that's what matters. Then, at night, when you look in from the street, you realise that the land and house cost them so much that they can't afford any furniture. I once went to by bosses multi-million dollar house in Brentwood and found the place full of worn out Salvation Army furniture!

It might not be true of the rest of America, but here, ALL that matters is the square footage of your house and the European badge on your car.

anotherlimey

You might be interested to know that where I live the teenagers don't say "Do you want a lift home in my car" they always say "Do you want a lift home in my Lexus/Mercedes/BMW".

Dimsie

I can't say that these things ring true in my own experience, which is possibly quite different from most on this forum. I live in small town Oklahoma, which is one of the poorest states I believe. There is "oil money" in the town where I live, and some very opulent houses, but I've never seen anyone around these houses, or seen anybody looking particularly prosperous from their manner of dress, around the town. The only people I've met socially are my husband's family, all of whom, thankfully, are liberal minded folk who don't care a toss for materialistic stuff, in spite of the fact that all have good jobs, they seem more intent on bringing up their own families in the right way than in bothering to have the best car or expensive clothes etc.

Another reason why my experience might be different is that both my husband and I are retired, and no longer earning. This fact together with our location probably ensures that we are unlikely to be bothered by the "Jones's" syndrome.

Location, age group and possibly even political stance can all play a big part in the matters being discussed - generalisations just don't work !