Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Before I came here to the great state of Texas, a friend jokingly told me:

"Over there, they measure distance in miles, weight in pounds, and people in dollars."

Has anyone found this true so far?

In my opinion, I have seen this quite frequently. People are often judged on their jobs and incomes. Americans seem to measure people on the car they drive, the clothes they wear and the places they visit. I once heard a colleague of mine say about a co-worker "He's a really nice guy, but how can I possibly associate with someone who wears a 1980s style suit like he does??"

Whenever I mention that I want to become a teacher in the future, the first comment is always "You do know the salary sucks, right?". BANG - straight to money. Forget the emotional rewards, the legacy, the challenge, the commitments....let's talk cash. I mean, come on guys!

Maybe I'm looking at England now with rose tinted glasses, but I always remember days of being in a good working class pub, where you were accepted on your humor and personality. Here - it's all how big is your house, how fast is your car, does your wife take it in her balloon knot...I mean, it's ridiculous.

Thoughts?

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

the neighbours always invite us to BBQs is this why ? :D

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Yes, yes, and yes.

Just a few weeks ago my supposed friends came around froa friendly game of poker and during the game a couple of them wouldn't stop asking me how much many I earnt. They remarked it must be quite a lot if I live in an apartment on my own.

I did the British thing and told them to mind their own business. Haven't spoken to them sice then.

Shallow f******s.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Some of my friends are a little that way and others not. I remember when we first moved here and applied for a lease at an apartment the Manager told us she thought we earned alot. This surprised me that she discussed it as their were other people present. One of my really nice friends used to live in a fancy subdivision but she said dont ever live in one the pressure to keep up with the jones takes any enjoyment out of it.

I think generally in this country success is determined by how much money you are seen to have.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

That seems so strange to me, because for most Americans I know (myself included), asking someone how much money they make is taboo and seen as incredibly tactless, an invasion of privacy. I never ask anyone how much money they make -- not even my brother, with whom I'm very close. To this day I have NO IDEA what kind of salaries my parents earned at their respective jobs before they retired. No one ever asks me how much money I make, either, not my coworkers or my friends, nor do I ask them. As long as I can remember it's been this way. Maybe it's a regional thing (I've only ever lived in Virginia when living in the US), but it's just really seen as stepping over the line with practically everyone I've ever known.

~

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

I second Jenney's thoughts. I'm American, and was taught that asking personal questions - especially financial - is a big no-no. (As opposed to my hubby's middle eastern background of asking every single personal question you can think of! LOL)

Perhaps the OP just means the amount of money one "seems" to have makes a difference in how one is perceived here in the USA...which I think does ring true somewhat. Whether that perception is reality or not isn't important - it's about appearances.

Rene

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

I was amazed that people over here openly discuss how much they earn. I personally would never discuss how much my husband earns (I am a stay at home Mum for now). In all the years knowing our closest friends in England we never knew how much they earned and vice versa.

We do have a couple of british friends over here and they are obsessed with how much money they earn and are desperate to know what my husband earns but they will never get to know. They also always ask how much everything costs that we buy and I never tell them that either, it just seems that most conversations we have with them the word dollar always comes into it. So it's not just Americans who are obsessed with money.

Our financial advisor over here was absolutely amazed that we have no debt apart from a 60% mortgage. The one thing that did shock me here was when assessing our future worth he asked how much inheritance did we expect to receive from our parents. I thought he was joking at first but he wasn't and told us that people can actually borrow money against how much inheritance they are expecting to receive. :eek:

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Agree - I've never been asked about how much we earn, either here or back home.

But external appearances do seem to matter more here. Everyone seems to have fairly new (albeit not necessarily quality) furniture and clothing (and cars!). In England, even quite well off people often have old and battered furniture. And everyone knows the English don't know how to dress (Susanna + Trinny anyone? :eek: ) Cars seem more battered too...

Elvira

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Yes, yes, and yes.

But America was not as materially obsessed until the early 80s and the rise of Reaganomics.... spend spend spend and let it trickle down.

People ask because they are scared, in many ways, and want to be reassured that a) they are doing okay compared to others and b) there are still other people out there with decent jobs. We are urged to spend spend spend (and to borrow to do it) and yet consumer confidence in the future of the economy keeps falling.

I'm not materialistic, but when I went to a Man City match last summer, before I even opened my mouth, a friend of a friend *told* me that I must be American. I asked him how he knew, and he said that only an American would dress that nicely to go to a footie match!

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Probably more of an age thing, I'm only 24 and my "friends" are about the same age. They are still in that stage were showing off is more important than anything else.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

I honestly found it to be more that way back in London. People were far more concerned about what car you drive, how much your house it worth and what sort of job you have. We never get asked anything like that over here.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Perhaps it all ties in with the bizarre emphasis on competition here in the US. Americans seem to love to compete with everything and to see who can outdo each other.

- High School awards for class clown, best athlete, smartest student, etc

- Prom has to crown a King & Queen

- Ford trucks...the F150, then the F250, the F350, now the F350+ which is far bigger than any normal human being could possibly require

- The whole college fraternity/sororiety thing

- Careers, who has the best office, the nicest suits

- Exclusive clubs, memberships and social groups

Not to mention the Oscars, Employee of the Month, and all those other silly western creations.

Then again, as they say "If you ain't WHW in USA, give it up" LOL.

Don't get me wrong, I like it here, but as a sociology grad, these cultural issues fascinate me.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

In the neighbourhood I live in in Los Angeles, it's ALL about outward appearance of wealth. Everyone buys a plot of land and builds the widest house that will fit. These houses are only about 20 feet deep, but they're wide, very wide, so it looks like a ****ing great mansion from the road. The stone pillars are really fiberglass, the boulders in the garden are moulded plastic and the glass in the windows is really low-grade perspex. But it LOOKS big, and that's what matters. Then, at night, when you look in from the street, you realise that the land and house cost them so much that they can't afford any furniture. I once went to by bosses multi-million dollar house in Brentwood and found the place full of worn out Salvation Army furniture!

It might not be true of the rest of America, but here, ALL that matters is the square footage of your house and the European badge on your car.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

You might be interested to know that where I live the teenagers don't say "Do you want a lift home in my car" they always say "Do you want a lift home in my Lexus/Mercedes/BMW".

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

I can't say that these things ring true in my own experience, which is possibly quite different from most on this forum. I live in small town Oklahoma, which is one of the poorest states I believe. There is "oil money" in the town where I live, and some very opulent houses, but I've never seen anyone around these houses, or seen anybody looking particularly prosperous from their manner of dress, around the town. The only people I've met socially are my husband's family, all of whom, thankfully, are liberal minded folk who don't care a toss for materialistic stuff, in spite of the fact that all have good jobs, they seem more intent on bringing up their own families in the right way than in bothering to have the best car or expensive clothes etc.

Another reason why my experience might be different is that both my husband and I are retired, and no longer earning. This fact together with our location probably ensures that we are unlikely to be bothered by the "Jones's" syndrome.

Location, age group and possibly even political stance can all play a big part in the matters being discussed - generalisations just don't work !

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

I live in the Bay Area and people are obssessed with the car they drive and how big the houses are. I personally don't give a crap and my friends aren't the type to care either. It's a shame because people waste so much time worrying about keeping up with the Joneses and what do they have at the end of it, more bills, bigger mortgages, waste of time if you ask me. An hour at the pub with good friends and some Cheese and Onion crisps suits me just fine :beer:

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Amen to that. :beer:

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

It seems to be the same in this area of NJ. There are some huge McMansions here but apparently most of them are more or less empty of furniture. According to one realtor the owners can only afford to furnish about a third of the house and in most cases the couple both work full time jobs and are in that much debt that if one of them loses their job, within 6 weeks the banks will foreclose.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

That would explain why some of these houses are bought, demolished, rebuilt, sold, bought and demolished again within the space of a single year! And why are McMansions so UGLY!!! It's as though the contractor just had a bunch of random doors, windows and fixtures lying around and decided to put them all together in one big house. Then because it looks a little odd and uncoordinated, they covers the whole thing in fiberglass stone cladding and fake mullioned window. And the idiot owners genuinely believe the whole sorry mess says 'class'.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

have to agree with you on the ugliness of some houses. In my sub division the condos are pretty ugly and all painted grey, even on the bits that could be painted a different colour. Never understood that.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Isnt all this how Capitalism at its finest is supposed to work - Everyone strives to outdo the next person and success is measured by how much wealth you accumulate? True Socialism is the exact opposite - everyone is equal (well apart from a few but you get the gist) and success is measured by what you give to society. In Britain we are a capatilist country with socialist moderation so we tend to like to improve ourselves but not shout it out as thats not socially acceptable so the out and out capatlist approach we find here in the USA is somewhat extreme to our moderated norms? Welcome to a foreign country.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Capitalism at it's finest is also what leads to the outsourcing of jobs to foreign countries, the destruction of rural communities and family owned farms by agricultural conglomerates, the death of heavy industy and the record pay increases of CEO's. Even Americans are starting to object, so don't give me any of that 'it's a foreign country, get used to it, crap'.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

I think you need to relax, no one was giving you the "its a foreign country get used to it crap". I was pointing out the facts, so get your head out of your arse. What make you think any of that is limited to just the USA? You could be talking about any country on the planet.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Not found anyone asks how much you earn really, but I reckon there is a definate "standard" amongst social groups, if it looks like you are doing alright, you are fine. Thats my own personal experience of people we mix with.

But you don't have to look to far to find the money grabber shallow look at me people, definately plenty of them around.

Re: Does this ring true for anyone?
 

Against my better judgement,wheres my nearest Ford dealer,i want a 350+ with all the whistles n bells