uk2ny

hi.

I am looking forward to my new life in New York. I have been reading this forum for days and see that they are so many British in New York or any other part of USA.
Moving to USA is exciting and at the same time hard. Leaving behind your freinds and family is very hard, although i keep saying to myself these are family my blood and nothing can change that, they can even come to visit me in New York which is only 7 hours away.
I am glad to know that i won't lose my UK citizenship, it makes me feel better and no matter what my future kids can be UK citizen too.

Has anyone British moved to USA and regreted it? How did you find life in USA compared to UK?
Was it all worth it? Or did your dream broke into shabbles when reality hit you?

Is it really a American dream or is it all talk?

Englishtart

You should probably read the 'moving back to the uk' forum, you will get more 'regrets' on that forum I think.

For me, I had no choice, have been back and forth between Europe and US for over 20 yrs, my kids are pretty settled here, so if I went back to the UK I would have to consider that they would still be here.

Recently, I have missed the UK more and more, but I think a vacation would probably sort that out, it's been over 5 yrs since I was back there and I think most of us on here enjoy going 'home' occasionally, but not sure if too many would move back permanently, there are some that would go back for the NHS and some for other reasons, family etc.

meauxna

I think it matters very much *what* exactly *your* American Dream is.

What would be your ideal, and what would be your nightmare? It's different for everyone.
I say: it's an adventure. My sense is that you have never moved away before and that you have a lot of natural anxiety about it. It will be somewhere new, yes the people (and the entire environment) are different, but there is something to like everywhere.

Sally Redux

It depends very much on your reasons for moving. It won't 'fix' problems in your life and the era of great prosperity often thought of as the 'American dream' is pretty much over. Also depends how stongly you feel attached to your family/ friends and home culture.

My advice, with hindsight, is not to burn all your bridges.

Elvira

I would definitely go along with Sally's wise words.

I'm one of those who deeply regrets the move - but my circumstances are very different from yours, and my regret is largely bound up with the fact that none of our sons ever managed to settle in California.

You are about to embark on an adventure with the love of your life, and chances are you'll have a great time. Enjoy it - make the most of it... but do not lose sight of your long-term objectives and where you want to be 10, 20, 30 years from now.

What I would urge you to do above anything else is not to have kids until you are absolutely sure that you would be willing to live in the US until they are grown, or perhaps forever after. There are some heartbreaking stories here of people (mainly women) who have become trapped following marriage breakdown because their ex will not let them leave the country with the children.

The Moving Back to the UK forum should also be a must-read for anyone thinking of emigrating.

Having said that, I'm sure you are going to have a great time in NYC - one of my favourite places in the US!

Tarkak9

Nope, I don't regret a second.. despite all the ups and downs one has encountered along the way.

Everyone's experience and reason for moving here are that of their own - just because one person isn't happy isn't to say that its all bad... its definitely what you make of it and your frame of mind. Certainly here on this forum, there is heaps of support and understanding from one another about what we all have gone through, and may go through... a problem shared is a problem solved!!

(I'm not implying that it is/was a bad decision but) there is alot to say for the quip "bad decisions make good stories"!!

Mummy in the foothills

No regrets, life is what you make it.
The American dream is a crock and the recession has put a stop to all that nonsense it seems.
Moving here doesn't change any of your problems really, just a change of scenery, you bring all your insecurities etc with you.
I didn't move here cause I hated my life in UK, actually I'd have been very happy to stay put, but life happens. Here I have nice friends and have had good jobs. But we still live a frugal life in a small house with the kids, no fancy 3000 sqft mansion for me to clean the cobwebs from, two toilets are enough for me to have to clean. I'd be happy with one, but the kids get annoyed when they have to wait in the morning.

uk2ny

thanks guys.

Reading all this makes me realise i am not alone in this.

i love to hear what was it like for the first few years

uk2ny

Thanks....if you had a chance to return to uk...would you?

dbj1000

I love my life here, and in many ways we're living something very similar to the classic "American dream" - more opportunities, more money, a great place to bring up the kids...

But over the first 5 years we were here there were whole years when we hated it here, and deeply regretted ever having moved. Those were terrible times, damaging for the family and not something I ever want to repeat.

Culture shock is a very real thing, and affects many people very severely. I've seen it on these boards, and I've experienced it first hand. No matter what your outlook or expectations are when you move, you can still run headlong into a nasty case of culture shock, and no amount of "being prepared" or "going into it with realistic expectations" is going to help if you're one of the many who experience anger, rejection and regret as part of the phases of acclimatizing to a new culture.

...or you may experience none of that! It's entirely down to personality and a significant component of luck whether you find that the US is the land of your dreams, your worst nightmare or (like the majority, I believe) just another place to live your life.

dunroving

The only real regret I have about the States was leaving (twice), and not recognizing that what I had there was not worth sacrificing in order to return to the "homeland". Could have gone thru GC by now (EB2) and be claiming USC around about now. :curse:

The Horticulturalist

How easy/hard will it be for you to come back here? Are you able to qualify for a visa again?

Console yourself with a packet of jaffa cakes and a proper curry

Mummy in the foothills

yes, it's going to be a few more years waiting for one of the kids to finish high school, But we all have UK/US citizenship so can ping pong all we want.

Jerseygirl

Many of us realise if we had major long term health problems we would have to return to the UK...whether we prefer to live in the US or not.

Bob

Plenty of people hate it, just like plenty like it, all for various reasons.

I guess a lot of it depends on your current lifestyle in the UK, how your lifestyle turns out in the US, where you move too, if you've got jobs, what kind of hobbies you have as some locations will make that more or less appealing depending on where you move to.

Really depends on what you hope to gain from the move and why/how you were able to move.

If it's an adventure and experience, you'll probably like it more than if you come here expecting golden grass and fleeing a cesspit UK, because that reality quickly makes you realise what you left wasn't so bad and what you gained isn't all that rosy, just different.