Originally Posted by Mummy in the foothills

We came to the realization after Ds#2 decided he was going to follow his brother back to UK, that same year Dh nearly died he was so sick and still dragged himself into work using a cane and working very slowly, knowing that without his job he had no medical cover to see the doctors he was seeing, at his worst he took all his vacation days and floaters plus some sick days and lay on the couch, needed help to walk to the loo even and lost 40lbs. Once his meds kicked in he started to get a bit better and immediately went back to work.
At that point he decided family was more important that sunshine in summer, so here we are one left in school who will go to Primary in UK and two grown who are working.
I really never thought we'd go. But I know he means it when he put his beloved '70 Mustang up for sale the other day.

Originally Posted by bromleygirl

My son has already told me that he intends to go back when he is grown up. When life is going well the US is a great place to be but when you are sick and unable to work or you are out of work, life can so quickly fall apart - there is no safety net here. Because of the recession, I have taken jobs that do not necessarily have the best benefits - employers can get away with giving less and less which in turn takes away more time from family.

I really wanted to make this work but I don't want to be on a treadmill of working just to survive or compromising my children and putting work ahead of them as I know a lot of people do.

Originally Posted by bromleygirl

Has anyone taken their dog back to the UK from the US recently? I brought back my last dog in 2004 but I think there has been changes since then to the rules.

Originally Posted by dunroving

Hi Bromleygirl, sounds like you have some tough decision-making on your hands. At least your children are open to the idea of moving to the UK - the "other" curse of the expat is when children, spouses, etc. don't want to move. I'm sorry to hear your main squeeze isn't interested in coming back, but as someone else said, your decision must be driven by what is good for you and your children.

The sentence I bolded just sums up the whole situation and highlights the biggest difficulty with choosing whether to live in the US. Pragmatically, the obvious thing to do would be to return. However, I can certainly identify with your feelings about how great the US can be when things are going well.

The security of the UK can be very attractive - but how do you feel about returning? Is it just the security that leads you to consider coming back, or would you be happy here? All other things being equal, I'd choose the positivity of life in the US, and the everyday outdoor opportunities there, over the UK - but it would be a big risk. Hence I am now torn - in fact am even thinking about the possibility of retiring early (in the UK), even though I would be financially disadvantaged by doing so. In the US, I never thought of myself as being anything but mid-career, and on the ascendence. Here, I feel like I am on the downhill slope to retirement.

You mention health care, and it's a valid issue. I have had more health problems since I came back, and part of me says in the US, this would have cost me a lot of money. However, in the US I almost never had health problems, so it wasn't an issue. I don't think it's a coincidence that I have been more ill here, by a long way, than when I lived in the US.

Sorry, didn't mean to make this about me, but I thought there were some parallels worth thinking about. I understand the dilemma you are in and even though the solution seems logical, doesn't mean it's an easy decision to make.

Originally Posted by kitmax

brought my dog back just last week, he moved out to WI with us in 2009, easier getting him to the US but we got him back to UK ok, just losts of paperwork and things to do before you leave, and it cost a lot with United

Originally Posted by bromleygirl

There may be some of you who may remember my story. I originally was in the U.S. for 8 years, left a bad marriage and returned to the U.K. in 2004. Life was good there, my kids were able to spend their formative years going to primary school and becoming "British" - they are 50% USC but I always felt that one day I should bring them back to the U.S. to experience life here as well. After 6 years we finally made the move and relocated to California.

Great weather, more house than I could ever own in the U.K., both children doing very well in school and the opportunity to develop a relationship with a former flame. With all this comes the rub - employment and healthcare. As a single parent I have always valued the flexibility in a job to be able to work and manage appointments and simply have time with my children. In the U.K. I had 27 days annual leave and worked 37.5 hours/week. Here, it's 40 hours/week and 10 days vacation if you are lucky. I've found the work place less understanding, less flexible to the point that you are fearful to take time off or risk your job. Employees essentially have less rights here and everything including healthcare hinges on your job and employers know that. I have had a period of unemployment and not having healthcare is quite unsettling.

I'm seriously considering making the move back Summer 2013 so that my daughter can start year 10. If I do not make the move at this time she will miss the start of her last 2 years of school - it's basically a case of now or never. My son would be more than happy to move back as he very much identifies with being British. My daughter is happy either way although I know she would miss her friends. My boyfriend had previously said he would consider moving to the U.K. but has now said he wants to stay here and doesn't understand why I go back to the U.K. for a holiday every year.

As any parent knows, children grow up way too quickly and I want to be able to have the time to spend with them before they are fully grown. The question is for me which is the best place to be in to enable me to do that and also to give them the best start in life?

Being a single parent I shoulder all of the responsibility of this decision which has caused me many a sleepless night for the last few weeks and months. I had thought when we moved back to the U.S. it was the right thing to do but I question now is it better to have a higher standard of living or a better quality of life?? Have others suffered with this same dilemma?

Originally Posted by bromleygirl

Do you mind me asking how much exactly? I have been earning reward points so would use these to get myself and the kids back but the dog I would be paying for.

Originally Posted by BritandDutchie

I'm new on here and having a total "do we stay or go" debate ourselves. The lack of good healthcare with pre-exisiting in the USA is a major push to go and the lifestyle here.

Do love the sunshine, but LA had heaps more, but also more crime

I 100% dread flying so trips aren't really done, which makes it harder. No Family to live near makes it harder to choose.

We've looked at Europe more than the UK, 2 things though have us in a major ponder.

1. the doom and gloom in the UK/EU 2. The job market, we're shocked the IT market pays sometimes 75% LESS in the EU than the USA. That is a HUGE step down in income for only slightly less outgoings. (as living in a cheap middle of no where location is out of the question here or there)

Originally Posted by dunroving

If you read enough threads and posts in this area, you'll soon find people saying the same thing about the US. Be careful of believing media hype - only bad news seems to be "good" news these days, the media aren't that interested in reporting positive stuff. If we all believed what we read in the news, we'd be scared to live anywhere!

Don't believe all the UK/EU negativity hype - there are lots of people who have come back to the UK and are perfectly happy and positive, no doom or gloom in sight. Look for posts from SallySimmmons and Jasper123 for some good news.