Starbucks66

Boy meets girl and lives happily ever after, well that’s the theory anyway.

So for you single guys/girls out here, how have you found the dating in the US is it much different to the UK? Have you met the person of your dreams? What were/are the biggest challenges?

BritGuyTN

i think american girls are sluttier (in a good way)

Englishmum

I have no personal experience of it (husband is English too) but I think ones location in the US is a big determination in the chances of finding romance.

For example, in New York City the numbers of single professional women seems to vastly outnumber single professional men (I've heard by as large a ratio of 5:1).

There is a single English woman working at the desk outside my husband's office who is in her mid-30s. She's constantly complaining that it's very hard to find a date, even though she's slim and attractive and has a nice personality. (One of her theories is that there are too many gay men living in the large cities!). I also think that some women aim rather high/a bit picky and want to date an investment banker or doctor rather than a fireman or policeman....

Another thing I've noticed here in the New York metro area is that some people also choose to date only people who are from a similar religion as they don't want to upset the 'apple cart' (for example my son is dating a Jewish girl and her mother was very unhappy about it indeed).

You will notice that mixed-race dating is quite rare here; I was given some English magazines last night and there were quite a few b and c-list "celeb couples" eg. the black footballer Ashley Cole and his white wife Cheryl. It's almost unheard of here.

You may find it easy to attract someone due to your accent of course! A gym is a good place to find a new partner of the opposite or same sex. If not, do what loads of Americans do and have a go at online dating eg. Match.com, eHarmony.com (both of which have highly irritating media ads here) or the very popular and free

http://www.craigslist.org (be careful with giving out info on the personal ads though in regards to personal safety).

My expat friend is divorced with two children. Last year she met a guy five years younger who commuted into NYC on the same train as she did most mornings. I think if you show a genuine interest in someone and listen to what they have to say rather than talk only about yourself then a good relationship can get off the ground.

Just Jenney

In the grand scheme of things, racial segregation ended relatively recently in this country. I remember one of my black teachers telling our class about how his high school in Northern Virginia -- which was my middle school at the time -- was still segregated in the early 1970s -- at least 15 years after the Brown vs Board of Education Supreme Court ruling. In fact, interracial marriage was illegal in South Carolina up until 1998. Racial relations are still strained, no matter how much we'd like to think that they aren't. So it's really no surprise that interracial couples aren't the norm.

One the other hand, interracial relationships are probably more common than you'd think. I know of several personally, and I don't even know that many people! My brother (white) is married to a first-generation American of Taiwanese descent; her sister also married a white guy. One of my best friends (first-generation Mexican-American) is married to a white guy. Meanwhile, her brother is married to a black woman. Another friend (African-American) got married to his wife (white) last fall. And one of my dearest friends (Vietnamese, came to the US in 1975 after the fall of Saigon at the age of 2) is in a long-term committed relationship with his girlfriend, who is white.

~ Jenney

angelman

I found my wife on craigslist under strictly platonic... that didnt work out too well - the strictly platonic that is, the marriage is excellent!
I found that girls here in clubs are way sluttier and more sexual than in the UK. Its quite common to see girls getting up and all but having sex with each other on stage and anyone else around. Girls dance in a way more sexual and provocative way than In the Uk. Much more booty shaking and hip grinding.
I have been suprised by the amount of interracial dating here in LA compared to London. Almost all the white guys in my work are married to asian girls. not very much latino/white or black and white though its true.
My stereotype of New Yorkers is that they are probably far more interested in status and way more picky. I think people down here are a bit more relaxed. Though of course in LA if you get in with a certain set then its all about status and how close can you get me to a job in the movies. I had a friend that was given online shopping lists by girls of things he had to buy before they would go out with him or lists of restaurants and clubs that he had to take her to. Very weird
It's all about the game. There is none of this, meet a nice girl at the pub/club take her home and see what happens. Here its sort of more formal. You go through the dating faze where it seems quite acceptable to date a number of people at once. Then when you are ready t'o go steady' you make it a more exclusive thing.

Rete

Wow just the complete opposite of what I see daily in RL and in the papers here. For instance my nephew is Catholic and his wife is Jewish. Just one couple I know of personally. I know of so many mixed religious marriages and black and white is not only a cookie here in metropolitan NYC. There are several mixed racial couples on street. No one seems to bat an eye.

It may not be that way in suburban New Jersey that I will grant you. Rarely see mixed racial couples in my sister's part of NJ and since your area is a more affluent area than hers it is probably about the same.

Bob

up in maine, it was so rare seeing a none white person that they'd often get stared at...apart from lewiston with the large asylum population, it's a creepily white state, johny foreigner the canadian would be enough to talk about...never mind a mixed couple

bit different down here, but out in the burbs, don't really see mixed relations, but that's not to say that they aren't there, I've just not really paid any attention, as I don't get out much

AdobePinon

This thread is worthless without pictures.

snowbunny

You live in Los Angeles. Everything is weird there. Everything is also more or less accepted. People are far more material and need to be "seen" wearing the right clothes eating and clubbing in the right places. Part of this is to advance their career as a celebrity-wannabe, part of it is the lifestyle.

The rest of the country is thankfully different.

I would say one generalisation is that *on average* it takes a lot more dating to get a girl into bed in the US than in the UK. The lifetime average number of sexual partners, assuming surveys like this are answered honestly, indicate that British women have significantly more partners than US women.

I would guess that outside certain posh sets, UK women are less materialistic. Then again, I've been told that they are less likely to earn a significant wage than is an American women -- not that women in either country are usually high wage earners, just that it's more common here. The class system and therefore part of the "old boys" network is far less constrained in the US.

In general, in the US, you either meet your future husband in school at some point before leaving uni, or you flail around for a few years afterwards looking for Mr Right.

In the American South where families are large and close, what the family thinks of the other family of the dating twosome is VERY important. You are known as "that Philpot girl" or "that Elmore boy" -- your family surname is used.

The population density of the US is low, and the mass transport systems suck, so that knocks out two good ways of meeting people -- living very near them or riding the same bus or train. The #1 way people meet here is AT CHURCH. Not kidding. It is better to say you met on the Internet and get the raised eyebrow than to say you met at a pub and get a smack across the face!

snowbunny

Haven't you been to LA often enough?

Far too many pretty young things thinking that if they sleep with the right guy they'll make it to stardom....

Ray

Ok ..Here's some hot oriental totty dancing

AdobePinon

Actually, I've never been to LA. Never wanted to either.

Ozzidoc

The only "rule" I know of is that when you are dating someone, it's not an exclusive thing until you ask for it to be.....you could be dating someone 3 times a week for 6 months, but they could still be seeing other people.

This is diff to my experiences in Oz and UK, where there seems to be an assumption after a few weeks/months that u r exclusive.

AdobePinon

JohnStang

I worry about marriage/dating when I move to America also. I hear American women are very materialistic and status oriented, and they tend to be a gold diggers. Finding a good life mate is important to everyone and I wonder where I can go to find a nice woman - not a girl who wears a thong, has many tattoos and already has starred in an amateur porn film by 19.