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British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   USA (https://britishexpats.com/forum/usa-57/)
-   -   Copy from Marriage-based forum ..Can Anyone shed any light...??? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/usa-57/copy-marriage-based-forum-can-anyone-shed-any-light-466842/)

tw1nkle_twinkle Jul 17th 2007 9:16 am
Copy from Marriage-based forum ..Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Hi I am a UK citizen and I am engaged to my fiance who is a U.S citizen currently working in the middle east. I just made an unsuccessful application to take my 9 year old daughter (she'll be 10 next July) to the STATES in February next year to live. I intend to reapply sometime in the new year. The problem I am having is ( I receive income support/child benefit/child tax credits, and have my rent paid for me by housing benefit) IF my fiance and I marry sometime in the next year, while it may look better for the UK courts, I am worried that I will loose all that I have in the way of benefits and rent being paid. If I were to go out and get a job I would be worse off than I am now, and I am sure that being classed as a married person, even if my 'husband' was NOT a resident of this country or ever likely to be, he would be expected to 'support me'. This would just not be financially viable as an option, as it would mean that he would then have to do another year in the middle east instead of returning to the States to get a job there...so it's like a catch 22 situation. :thumbdown:
Has anyone else been through this, or something similar or can shed any light on what to do for the best? :unsure:

ian-mstm Jul 17th 2007 12:24 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Originally Posted by tw1nkle_twinkle (Post 5066157)
I just made an unsuccessful application to take my 9 year old daughter (she'll be 10 next July) to the STATES in February next year to live.
The rest aside, this is key! In what way was the application "unsuccessful". What sort of application? Was it denied? Why? Was your USC fiance involved in this application? Why or why not? Please try to be specific. Once we know this, we might be able to help a bit.

Ian

violator_dm Jul 17th 2007 12:26 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
The UK taxpayer must be happy with your position regarding working and paying taxes.

tw1nkle_twinkle Jul 17th 2007 12:42 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Originally Posted by ian-mstm (Post 5066778)
The rest aside, this is key! In what way was the application "unsuccessful". What sort of application? Was it denied? Why? Was your USC fiance involved in this application? Why or why not? Please try to be specific. Once we know this, we might be able to help a bit.

Ian
The RELOCATION application was unsuccessful because of many factors. One being that my fiance hadn't provided proof of his savings to prove that he could fund the airfares between here and the States for my daughter to see her Father. We really didn't see that this was any of the courts ...or my ex's business. :frown: and because the courts want my fiance to have returned to the States and gotten a job before we go out there...and another factor was my daughter who is 9. My ex had pulled some stunts in the 2 weeks prior to the hearing ....sending e-mails in my daughters name to the court officer saying that she didn't want to go. (No one asked her about these..and they assumed she had sent them) :mad: He sent 2 after she told him that she'd seen the court officer (10 days before the hearing), after he had told her 'to get out of his sight' and turned up the car stereo when he took her for his weekend. Next time I plan to have an advocate for my daughter to speak on her behalf, and I will have to make sure that all the things that went wrong before are put right. My fiance wasn't involved in the application as such because we don't live together. He wouldn't consider living here, which is why things are so much harder. If we got married before the next hearing I am worried that he'll be expected to pay all my bills and rent etc etc...even if we don't live together. :unsure: If I went out to work I'd be no better off either at the end of the day. I would like to have a job but it has to be worthwhile...after rent, bills, food, council tax, clothing....I am trying to be practical here. It doesn't make sense if he has to pay all my costs...and is basically working for nothing. If it weren't for my daughter this would all be so easy, because we could get married and I could leave, but I won't leave without my daughter so it's back to court and round two of the fight. :blink:

violator_dm Jul 17th 2007 1:25 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
If you decide to move to the US your husband/fiance will have to sign an affidavit of support. You will not be eligible for any welfare, free housing, food stamps etc. I hope you know that.

Rete Jul 17th 2007 1:30 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
So your problem is not with a visa, as first indicated, but with obtaining permission from the biological father and the court to relocate in the US.

This has nothing whatsoever to do with immigration per se and is an issue that must be resolved between the three of you (court, ex and you) before you can even think about your fiancee applying for a fiancee and/or spousal visa for you.

It would seem that getting married before this is resolved is the backward way to do things. You have no guarantee that the courts will rule in your favor to remove your daughter from the UK.

Having said that, perhaps you might well want to rethink the entire foreign relationship since it is likely that you will not be able to remove your daughter from the UK until reaches the age of consent.


Originally Posted by tw1nkle_twinkle (Post 5066886)
The RELOCATION application was unsuccessful because of many factors. One being that my fiance hadn't provided proof of his savings to prove that he could fund the airfares between here and the States for my daughter to see her Father. We really didn't see that this was any of the courts ...or my ex's business. :frown: and because the courts want my fiance to have returned to the States and gotten a job before we go out there...and another factor was my daughter who is 9. My ex had pulled some stunts in the 2 weeks prior to the hearing ....sending e-mails in my daughters name to the court officer saying that she didn't want to go. (No one asked her about these..and they assumed she had sent them) :mad: He sent 2 after she told him that she'd seen the court officer (10 days before the hearing), after he had told her 'to get out of his sight' and turned up the car stereo when he took her for his weekend. Next time I plan to have an advocate for my daughter to speak on her behalf, and I will have to make sure that all the things that went wrong before are put right. My fiance wasn't involved in the application as such because we don't live together. He wouldn't consider living here, which is why things are so much harder. If we got married before the next hearing I am worried that he'll be expected to pay all my bills and rent etc etc...even if we don't live together. :unsure: If I went out to work I'd be no better off either at the end of the day. I would like to have a job but it has to be worthwhile...after rent, bills, food, council tax, clothing....I am trying to be practical here. It doesn't make sense if he has to pay all my costs...and is basically working for nothing. If it weren't for my daughter this would all be so easy, because we could get married and I could leave, but I won't leave without my daughter so it's back to court and round two of the fight. :blink:

AmerLisa Jul 17th 2007 2:38 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Originally Posted by violator_dm (Post 5067198)
The UK taxpayer must be happy with your position regarding working and paying taxes.
Why do some posters feel its ok to judge someone when they come here to ask for help? I mean do you know her situation? Other than the little bit of information that she's given? :rolleyes:

AmerLisa Jul 17th 2007 2:40 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Originally Posted by tw1nkle_twinkle (Post 5067199)
The RELOCATION application was unsuccessful because of many factors. One being that my fiance hadn't provided proof of his savings to prove that he could fund the airfares between here and the States for my daughter to see her Father. We really didn't see that this was any of the courts ...or my ex's business. :frown: and because the courts want my fiance to have returned to the States and gotten a job before we go out there...and another factor was my daughter who is 9. My ex had pulled some stunts in the 2 weeks prior to the hearing ....sending e-mails in my daughters name to the court officer saying that she didn't want to go. (No one asked her about these..and they assumed she had sent them) :mad: He sent 2 after she told him that she'd seen the court officer (10 days before the hearing), after he had told her 'to get out of his sight' and turned up the car stereo when he took her for his weekend. Next time I plan to have an advocate for my daughter to speak on her behalf, and I will have to make sure that all the things that went wrong before are put right. My fiance wasn't involved in the application as such because we don't live together. He wouldn't consider living here, which is why things are so much harder. If we got married before the next hearing I am worried that he'll be expected to pay all my bills and rent etc etc...even if we don't live together. :unsure: If I went out to work I'd be no better off either at the end of the day. I would like to have a job but it has to be worthwhile...after rent, bills, food, council tax, clothing....I am trying to be practical here. It doesn't make sense if he has to pay all my costs...and is basically working for nothing. If it weren't for my daughter this would all be so easy, because we could get married and I could leave, but I won't leave without my daughter so it's back to court and round two of the fight. :blink:
I can't offer any helpful advice. Its not easy when there is a manipulative ex involved. However, I wish you the best of luck. :)

Rete Jul 17th 2007 2:41 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
A rhetorical question Lisa. Karma for that one.

AmerLisa Jul 17th 2007 2:41 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Originally Posted by violator_dm (Post 5067200)
If you decide to move to the US your husband/fiance will have to sign an affidavit of support. You will not be eligible for any welfare, free housing, food stamps etc. I hope you know that.
Who said she wanted that????????? You're just a bit rude.....:frown:

southern comfort Jul 17th 2007 4:16 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Originally Posted by tw1nkle_twinkle (Post 5067199)
The RELOCATION application was unsuccessful because of many factors. One being that my fiance hadn't provided proof of his savings to prove that he could fund the airfares between here and the States for my daughter to see her Father. We really didn't see that this was any of the courts ...or my ex's business. :frown: and because the courts want my fiance to have returned to the States and gotten a job before we go out there...and another factor was my daughter who is 9. My ex had pulled some stunts in the 2 weeks prior to the hearing ....sending e-mails in my daughters name to the court officer saying that she didn't want to go. (No one asked her about these..and they assumed she had sent them) :mad: He sent 2 after she told him that she'd seen the court officer (10 days before the hearing), after he had told her 'to get out of his sight' and turned up the car stereo when he took her for his weekend. Next time I plan to have an advocate for my daughter to speak on her behalf, and I will have to make sure that all the things that went wrong before are put right. My fiance wasn't involved in the application as such because we don't live together. He wouldn't consider living here, which is why things are so much harder. If we got married before the next hearing I am worried that he'll be expected to pay all my bills and rent etc etc...even if we don't live together. :unsure: If I went out to work I'd be no better off either at the end of the day. I would like to have a job but it has to be worthwhile...after rent, bills, food, council tax, clothing....I am trying to be practical here. It doesn't make sense if he has to pay all my costs...and is basically working for nothing. If it weren't for my daughter this would all be so easy, because we could get married and I could leave, but I won't leave without my daughter so it's back to court and round two of the fight. :blink:
I am really confused now......doesnt ones hubby pay all the bills if wife doesnt work I mean.:blink::confused:

snowbunny Jul 17th 2007 4:19 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Originally Posted by southern comfort (Post 5068176)
I am really confused now......doesnt ones hubby pay all the bills if wife doesnt work I mean.:blink::confused:
Leaving aside the sexism in your comment, I think the concern is the cost of maintaining two residences.

Bob Jul 17th 2007 4:55 pm
Re: Copy from Marriage-based forum ..Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Originally Posted by tw1nkle_twinkle (Post 5067196)
Has anyone else been through this, or something similar or can shed any light on what to do for the best? :unsure:

Simple really, either be nice to your ex and convince him to let you take the kid out of the UK, or, your fiance moves to the UK because without the consent, you won't be getting a visa for the kid to come with you.

Englishmum Jul 17th 2007 5:18 pm
Re: Copy from Marriage-based forum ..Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Why wouldn't your fiance - in your words - "consider moving here" ie. the UK? Has he ever been to the UK?

It would surely be the simplest solution and in the best interests of your daughter too.

How does your daughter get on with your fiance?

violator_dm Jul 17th 2007 6:28 pm
Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???
 
Originally Posted by AmerLisa (Post 5067590)
Why do some posters feel its ok to judge someone when they come here to ask for help? I mean do you know her situation? Other than the little bit of information that she's given? :rolleyes:
Define "judging". I was asking a question as to how the taxpayer would feel when someone is on welfare and then basically says I don't want to work because I will get less money by working. Don't put words in my mouth and don't assume things. Because assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

You're right, I don't know her situation. But from what I understand, she is obviously in the wrong forum. Even the moderator told her so.


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