Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > USA
Reload this Page >

Copy from Marriage-based forum ..Can Anyone shed any light...???

Copy from Marriage-based forum ..Can Anyone shed any light...???

Old Jul 17th 2007, 9:16 am
  #1  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 14
tw1nkle_twinkle will become famous soon enoughtw1nkle_twinkle will become famous soon enough
Default Copy from Marriage-based forum ..Can Anyone shed any light...???

Hi I am a UK citizen and I am engaged to my fiance who is a U.S citizen currently working in the middle east. I just made an unsuccessful application to take my 9 year old daughter (she'll be 10 next July) to the STATES in February next year to live. I intend to reapply sometime in the new year. The problem I am having is ( I receive income support/child benefit/child tax credits, and have my rent paid for me by housing benefit) IF my fiance and I marry sometime in the next year, while it may look better for the UK courts, I am worried that I will loose all that I have in the way of benefits and rent being paid. If I were to go out and get a job I would be worse off than I am now, and I am sure that being classed as a married person, even if my 'husband' was NOT a resident of this country or ever likely to be, he would be expected to 'support me'. This would just not be financially viable as an option, as it would mean that he would then have to do another year in the middle east instead of returning to the States to get a job there...so it's like a catch 22 situation.
Has anyone else been through this, or something similar or can shed any light on what to do for the best?
tw1nkle_twinkle is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 12:24 pm
  #2  
Account Closed
 
Joined: Aug 2002
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 38,867
ian-mstm has a reputation beyond reputeian-mstm has a reputation beyond reputeian-mstm has a reputation beyond reputeian-mstm has a reputation beyond reputeian-mstm has a reputation beyond reputeian-mstm has a reputation beyond reputeian-mstm has a reputation beyond reputeian-mstm has a reputation beyond reputeian-mstm has a reputation beyond reputeian-mstm has a reputation beyond reputeian-mstm has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

Originally Posted by tw1nkle_twinkle View Post
I just made an unsuccessful application to take my 9 year old daughter (she'll be 10 next July) to the STATES in February next year to live.
The rest aside, this is key! In what way was the application "unsuccessful". What sort of application? Was it denied? Why? Was your USC fiance involved in this application? Why or why not? Please try to be specific. Once we know this, we might be able to help a bit.

Ian
ian-mstm is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 12:26 pm
  #3  
Forum Regular
 
violator_dm's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Reisterstown, MD - Moscow, Russia
Posts: 166
violator_dm will become famous soon enoughviolator_dm will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

The UK taxpayer must be happy with your position regarding working and paying taxes.
violator_dm is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 12:42 pm
  #4  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 14
tw1nkle_twinkle will become famous soon enoughtw1nkle_twinkle will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

Originally Posted by ian-mstm View Post
The rest aside, this is key! In what way was the application "unsuccessful". What sort of application? Was it denied? Why? Was your USC fiance involved in this application? Why or why not? Please try to be specific. Once we know this, we might be able to help a bit.

Ian
The RELOCATION application was unsuccessful because of many factors. One being that my fiance hadn't provided proof of his savings to prove that he could fund the airfares between here and the States for my daughter to see her Father. We really didn't see that this was any of the courts ...or my ex's business. and because the courts want my fiance to have returned to the States and gotten a job before we go out there...and another factor was my daughter who is 9. My ex had pulled some stunts in the 2 weeks prior to the hearing ....sending e-mails in my daughters name to the court officer saying that she didn't want to go. (No one asked her about these..and they assumed she had sent them) He sent 2 after she told him that she'd seen the court officer (10 days before the hearing), after he had told her 'to get out of his sight' and turned up the car stereo when he took her for his weekend. Next time I plan to have an advocate for my daughter to speak on her behalf, and I will have to make sure that all the things that went wrong before are put right. My fiance wasn't involved in the application as such because we don't live together. He wouldn't consider living here, which is why things are so much harder. If we got married before the next hearing I am worried that he'll be expected to pay all my bills and rent etc etc...even if we don't live together. If I went out to work I'd be no better off either at the end of the day. I would like to have a job but it has to be worthwhile...after rent, bills, food, council tax, clothing....I am trying to be practical here. It doesn't make sense if he has to pay all my costs...and is basically working for nothing. If it weren't for my daughter this would all be so easy, because we could get married and I could leave, but I won't leave without my daughter so it's back to court and round two of the fight.
tw1nkle_twinkle is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 1:25 pm
  #5  
Forum Regular
 
violator_dm's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Reisterstown, MD - Moscow, Russia
Posts: 166
violator_dm will become famous soon enoughviolator_dm will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

If you decide to move to the US your husband/fiance will have to sign an affidavit of support. You will not be eligible for any welfare, free housing, food stamps etc. I hope you know that.
violator_dm is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 1:30 pm
  #6  
Concierge
 
Rete's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 43,722
Rete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

So your problem is not with a visa, as first indicated, but with obtaining permission from the biological father and the court to relocate in the US.

This has nothing whatsoever to do with immigration per se and is an issue that must be resolved between the three of you (court, ex and you) before you can even think about your fiancee applying for a fiancee and/or spousal visa for you.

It would seem that getting married before this is resolved is the backward way to do things. You have no guarantee that the courts will rule in your favor to remove your daughter from the UK.

Having said that, perhaps you might well want to rethink the entire foreign relationship since it is likely that you will not be able to remove your daughter from the UK until reaches the age of consent.


Originally Posted by tw1nkle_twinkle View Post
The RELOCATION application was unsuccessful because of many factors. One being that my fiance hadn't provided proof of his savings to prove that he could fund the airfares between here and the States for my daughter to see her Father. We really didn't see that this was any of the courts ...or my ex's business. and because the courts want my fiance to have returned to the States and gotten a job before we go out there...and another factor was my daughter who is 9. My ex had pulled some stunts in the 2 weeks prior to the hearing ....sending e-mails in my daughters name to the court officer saying that she didn't want to go. (No one asked her about these..and they assumed she had sent them) He sent 2 after she told him that she'd seen the court officer (10 days before the hearing), after he had told her 'to get out of his sight' and turned up the car stereo when he took her for his weekend. Next time I plan to have an advocate for my daughter to speak on her behalf, and I will have to make sure that all the things that went wrong before are put right. My fiance wasn't involved in the application as such because we don't live together. He wouldn't consider living here, which is why things are so much harder. If we got married before the next hearing I am worried that he'll be expected to pay all my bills and rent etc etc...even if we don't live together. If I went out to work I'd be no better off either at the end of the day. I would like to have a job but it has to be worthwhile...after rent, bills, food, council tax, clothing....I am trying to be practical here. It doesn't make sense if he has to pay all my costs...and is basically working for nothing. If it weren't for my daughter this would all be so easy, because we could get married and I could leave, but I won't leave without my daughter so it's back to court and round two of the fight.
Rete is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 2:38 pm
  #7  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
AmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

Originally Posted by violator_dm View Post
The UK taxpayer must be happy with your position regarding working and paying taxes.
Why do some posters feel its ok to judge someone when they come here to ask for help? I mean do you know her situation? Other than the little bit of information that she's given?
AmerLisa is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 2:40 pm
  #8  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
AmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

Originally Posted by tw1nkle_twinkle View Post
The RELOCATION application was unsuccessful because of many factors. One being that my fiance hadn't provided proof of his savings to prove that he could fund the airfares between here and the States for my daughter to see her Father. We really didn't see that this was any of the courts ...or my ex's business. and because the courts want my fiance to have returned to the States and gotten a job before we go out there...and another factor was my daughter who is 9. My ex had pulled some stunts in the 2 weeks prior to the hearing ....sending e-mails in my daughters name to the court officer saying that she didn't want to go. (No one asked her about these..and they assumed she had sent them) He sent 2 after she told him that she'd seen the court officer (10 days before the hearing), after he had told her 'to get out of his sight' and turned up the car stereo when he took her for his weekend. Next time I plan to have an advocate for my daughter to speak on her behalf, and I will have to make sure that all the things that went wrong before are put right. My fiance wasn't involved in the application as such because we don't live together. He wouldn't consider living here, which is why things are so much harder. If we got married before the next hearing I am worried that he'll be expected to pay all my bills and rent etc etc...even if we don't live together. If I went out to work I'd be no better off either at the end of the day. I would like to have a job but it has to be worthwhile...after rent, bills, food, council tax, clothing....I am trying to be practical here. It doesn't make sense if he has to pay all my costs...and is basically working for nothing. If it weren't for my daughter this would all be so easy, because we could get married and I could leave, but I won't leave without my daughter so it's back to court and round two of the fight.
I can't offer any helpful advice. Its not easy when there is a manipulative ex involved. However, I wish you the best of luck.
AmerLisa is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 2:41 pm
  #9  
Concierge
 
Rete's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 43,722
Rete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

A rhetorical question Lisa. Karma for that one.
Rete is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 2:41 pm
  #10  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
AmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond reputeAmerLisa has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

Originally Posted by violator_dm View Post
If you decide to move to the US your husband/fiance will have to sign an affidavit of support. You will not be eligible for any welfare, free housing, food stamps etc. I hope you know that.
Who said she wanted that????????? You're just a bit rude.....
AmerLisa is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 4:16 pm
  #11  
Account Closed
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 700
southern comfort is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

Originally Posted by tw1nkle_twinkle View Post
The RELOCATION application was unsuccessful because of many factors. One being that my fiance hadn't provided proof of his savings to prove that he could fund the airfares between here and the States for my daughter to see her Father. We really didn't see that this was any of the courts ...or my ex's business. and because the courts want my fiance to have returned to the States and gotten a job before we go out there...and another factor was my daughter who is 9. My ex had pulled some stunts in the 2 weeks prior to the hearing ....sending e-mails in my daughters name to the court officer saying that she didn't want to go. (No one asked her about these..and they assumed she had sent them) He sent 2 after she told him that she'd seen the court officer (10 days before the hearing), after he had told her 'to get out of his sight' and turned up the car stereo when he took her for his weekend. Next time I plan to have an advocate for my daughter to speak on her behalf, and I will have to make sure that all the things that went wrong before are put right. My fiance wasn't involved in the application as such because we don't live together. He wouldn't consider living here, which is why things are so much harder. If we got married before the next hearing I am worried that he'll be expected to pay all my bills and rent etc etc...even if we don't live together. If I went out to work I'd be no better off either at the end of the day. I would like to have a job but it has to be worthwhile...after rent, bills, food, council tax, clothing....I am trying to be practical here. It doesn't make sense if he has to pay all my costs...and is basically working for nothing. If it weren't for my daughter this would all be so easy, because we could get married and I could leave, but I won't leave without my daughter so it's back to court and round two of the fight.
I am really confused now......doesnt ones hubby pay all the bills if wife doesnt work I mean.
southern comfort is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 4:19 pm
  #12  
Lapine Member
 
snowbunny's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Austin, Texas in my own little world
Posts: 21,691
snowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

Originally Posted by southern comfort View Post
I am really confused now......doesnt ones hubby pay all the bills if wife doesnt work I mean.
Leaving aside the sexism in your comment, I think the concern is the cost of maintaining two residences.
snowbunny is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 4:55 pm
  #13  
Bob
BE Site Lead
 
Bob's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: MA, USA
Posts: 91,723
Bob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond reputeBob has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Copy from Marriage-based forum ..Can Anyone shed any light...???

Originally Posted by tw1nkle_twinkle View Post
Has anyone else been through this, or something similar or can shed any light on what to do for the best?

Simple really, either be nice to your ex and convince him to let you take the kid out of the UK, or, your fiance moves to the UK because without the consent, you won't be getting a visa for the kid to come with you.
Bob is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 5:18 pm
  #14  
 
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,840
Englishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond repute
Question Re: Copy from Marriage-based forum ..Can Anyone shed any light...???

Why wouldn't your fiance - in your words - "consider moving here" ie. the UK? Has he ever been to the UK?

It would surely be the simplest solution and in the best interests of your daughter too.

How does your daughter get on with your fiance?
Englishmum is offline  
Old Jul 17th 2007, 6:28 pm
  #15  
Forum Regular
 
violator_dm's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Reisterstown, MD - Moscow, Russia
Posts: 166
violator_dm will become famous soon enoughviolator_dm will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Can Anyone shed any light...???

Originally Posted by AmerLisa View Post
Why do some posters feel its ok to judge someone when they come here to ask for help? I mean do you know her situation? Other than the little bit of information that she's given?
Define "judging". I was asking a question as to how the taxpayer would feel when someone is on welfare and then basically says I don't want to work because I will get less money by working. Don't put words in my mouth and don't assume things. Because assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

You're right, I don't know her situation. But from what I understand, she is obviously in the wrong forum. Even the moderator told her so.
violator_dm is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.