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-   -   Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz (https://britishexpats.com/forum/usa-57/been-back-9-months-now-will-returning-oz-755250/)

Tr1boy May 5th 2012 10:04 pm

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 

Originally Posted by crap coffee (Post 10044211)
me too.

I am sad. :( Wish I could live in somewhere Uk:(

We went out for galbi and dolsot bibim bap last week. It was cheaper than in Korea:blink:

Coffee is still pretty crap though:lol:

crap coffee May 5th 2012 10:15 pm

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 

Originally Posted by Tr1boy (Post 10044249)
We went out for galbi and dolsot bibim bap last week. It was cheaper than in Korea:blink:

Coffee is still pretty crap though:lol:

are you still in England?

Tr1boy May 5th 2012 10:18 pm

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 

Originally Posted by crap coffee (Post 10044266)
are you still in England?

Yeah. Thought we were heading back to Oz but because of all my back surgery we had to stay a little longer, and in that time Mrs TB bgan to settle a bit better here. We will head back at some point, but England is home for now. :)

crap coffee May 5th 2012 10:25 pm

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 

Originally Posted by Tr1boy (Post 10044270)
Yeah. Thought we were heading back to Oz but because of all my back surgery we had to stay a little longer, and in that time Mrs TB bgan to settle a bit better here. We will head back at some point, but England is home for now. :)

hm... good to hear...

I've got a few friends dotted around in England. they are 100% happy And 100% happily settled in england with their English husbandS, but why mrs TRB finds hard ?? I feel for you Tr1boy. you are too nice.

Tr1boy May 5th 2012 10:57 pm

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 
A few reasons really. She missed the Asian faces of Sydney and her first job was rubbish. But she got a contract role with McLaren and enjoyed that a lot, but there was no chance of getting taken on due to headcount. Her Dad got very sick and she was sick last year, but now with her ILR and UK driving licence she's settled a bit better.

Returning to Oz will make her happy but it's not on the cards at the moment due to my ongoing back surgery. I don't want to stay in the UK forever, it will be too cold for my back in my older years.

Not be with her? No way. She lets me keep the bikes inside the house, spend outrageous amounts on wheels and frames, gets dragged all over the world for Ironman triathlons and cycle races and never complains.

We are 'wenjo and oranjo oree', she's a keeper:thumbsup::heart:

brits1 May 6th 2012 3:04 am

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 

Originally Posted by Tr1boy (Post 10044327)
A few reasons really. She missed the Asian faces of Sydney and her first job was rubbish. But she got a contract role with McLaren and enjoyed that a lot, but there was no chance of getting taken on due to headcount. Her Dad got very sick and she was sick last year, but now with her ILR and UK driving licence she's settled a bit better.

Returning to Oz will make her happy but it's not on the cards at the moment due to my ongoing back surgery. I don't want to stay in the UK forever, it will be too cold for my back in my older years.

Not be with her? No way. She lets me keep the bikes inside the house, spend outrageous amounts on wheels and frames, gets dragged all over the world for Ironman triathlons and cycle races and never complains.

We are 'wenjo and oranjo oree', she's a keeper:thumbsup::heart:

Life has a funny way of working out sometimes....we had friends in similar position to you (although it was Canada not Aus) they stayed in the U.K for a while then left to return back to Canada and then said to friends back in Canada upon their arrival there...."well my wife got her surgery for free and I got my British Passport" lol (wife originally from the U.K and OH from Japan)very cheeky of them both really..lol...they are now both back in Japan for a couple of years. At least you will have the UK to thank for that lol....Good luck upon your return to Australia I am sure you both will not look back.

toodlepip May 6th 2012 9:41 am

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 

Originally Posted by happy4 (Post 10043612)
Hello there,

I haven't been on this forum for ages and was interested to read your story. As a family of four, we moved to Melbourne when our children were three and one, with my now ex-husband's job. I'm afraid I did not settle well at all and this caused a huge amount of stress on our marriage. I became severely depressed but my ex-husband refused to return to the UK. So I returned alone to the UK with our children, it was very difficult. He came back for a visit to the UK and promised me if I returned to Melbourne and didn't settle, we would come back to the UK together. So I returned to Melbourne..again and gave it another go..for 18 months and once again, I could not settle and was very unhappy. My ex-husband refused to return, again...and I was left to fly home, alone with my children, again. It was so humiliating and one of the worst times of my life. Luckily, I hadn't sold our house and was able to settle my children at home.

My ex-husband never did come back to the UK. We have visits from him twice a year, which are difficult for my children and the occasional Skype call. He has met another lady, has a great career and seems to have 'moved on'. I would never have believed the man I married would ever do this to his children. We had an agreement and he never fulfilled it, which left me feeling very saddened that he chose the Australian lifestyle over his children.

On a lighter note, myself and my children are doing well. They love School, their family and we have some amazing friends who really love us. Also, I have just achieved a place at a University that I have always wanted to go to. Life goes on, but I would be lying if I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we hadn't left in the first place. It is obvious now the cracks were already there..I think you need a very strong marriage to survive emigration. I
really wish you the very best, I think you are an amazing lady and your husband is very lucky to have you :starsmile:

I'm sorry to read your story, you too sound immensely strong and your ex obviously didn't recognize a good thing when he had it.

We are going to review life back in Oz next May and if the kids want to come back to their schools here then we will - that might mean me coming on my own with them as I don't think OH will get a job easily back here. Guess only time will tell if that's the end of the marriage but we're not at that point yet - though I am very much looking forward to a break from him when he goes at the end of the month.

I hope you enjoy Uni. Good for you for moving on with your life.

toodlepip May 6th 2012 9:48 am

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 
Crap Coffee, I don't know what to say, I hope you find yourself back here one day.

Take care

crap coffee May 6th 2012 12:27 pm

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 

Originally Posted by toodlepip (Post 10044894)
Crap Coffee, I don't know what to say, I hope you find yourself back here one day.

Take care

I doubt I can make it any time soon as given my situation - practically impossible!

but hey, everything what you've said makes great sense to me. You sound really sensible and eminently reasonable.

you take care, too! and hope things turn out well for you.

Beedubya May 6th 2012 4:51 pm

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 

Originally Posted by happy4 (Post 10043612)
Hello there,

I haven't been on this forum for ages and was interested to read your story. As a family of four, we moved to Melbourne when our children were three and one, with my now ex-husband's job. I'm afraid I did not settle well at all and this caused a huge amount of stress on our marriage. I became severely depressed but my ex-husband refused to return to the UK. So I returned alone to the UK with our children, it was very difficult. He came back for a visit to the UK and promised me if I returned to Melbourne and didn't settle, we would come back to the UK together. So I returned to Melbourne..again and gave it another go..for 18 months and once again, I could not settle and was very unhappy. My ex-husband refused to return, again...and I was left to fly home, alone with my children, again. It was so humiliating and one of the worst times of my life. Luckily, I hadn't sold our house and was able to settle my children at home.

My ex-husband never did come back to the UK. We have visits from him twice a year, which are difficult for my children and the occasional Skype call. He has met another lady, has a great career and seems to have 'moved on'. I would never have believed the man I married would ever do this to his children. We had an agreement and he never fulfilled it, which left me feeling very saddened that he chose the Australian lifestyle over his children.

On a lighter note, myself and my children are doing well. They love School, their family and we have some amazing friends who really love us. Also, I have just achieved a place at a University that I have always wanted to go to. Life goes on, but I would be lying if I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we hadn't left in the first place. It is obvious now the cracks were already there..I think you need a very strong marriage to survive emigration. I really wish you the very best, I think you are an amazing lady and your husband is very lucky to have you :starsmile:

I feel so sad reading this and all the stuff you have gone through, but it feels good to know you and your children are now settled back home.

happy4 May 6th 2012 10:12 pm

Re: Been back 9 months now, and will be returning to Oz
 

Originally Posted by toodlepip (Post 10044890)
I'm sorry to read your story, you too sound immensely strong and your ex obviously didn't recognize a good thing when he had it.

We are going to review life back in Oz next May and if the kids want to come back to their schools here then we will - that might mean me coming on my own with them as I don't think OH will get a job easily back here. Guess only time will tell if that's the end of the marriage but we're not at that point yet - though I am very much looking forward to a break from him when he goes at the end of the month.

I hope you enjoy Uni. Good for you for moving on with your life.

Thank you Toodlepip..life is good for us here. I have never regretted returning to the UK. I have two beautiful children, a great career ahead (just go to get the degree first!!) and lots of special people around us. It has taken a while to recover, we came back four years ago now, but not once have I looked back, I knew I deserved more and more importantly, my children were in an horrendous situation. The three of us (and dog!) are settled, happy and I've finally got some peace again :thumbsup:


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