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Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

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Old Mar 14th 2012, 8:08 pm
  #31  
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

"Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?"

I guess I'm lucky - My boss is an Aussie so yes there is time for a couple of jars after work, I get my own office, the company i work for appreciate I'm a strange Euro type so will need extra time off - I'm earning more money than I was in the UK for doing roughly the same job on top of which I'm not held as accountable for company screw ups as I was in England. I even have a private parking spot. The folks I work with seem decent enough on the whole though there is an air of mistrust amongst all, and extreme incompetence is rife (not in my office tho)

The healthcare thing sucks though - must quit smoking and drinking dammit.
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Old Mar 14th 2012, 8:27 pm
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

We should actually start a thread on the craziest bosses we've ever had - I got some good 'uns.
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Old Mar 14th 2012, 8:34 pm
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Originally Posted by Rete
If she is so upset about working where she is why doesn't she just up and quit? If she can't be transferred to another attorney within the same law firm, then it is time to leave their employment. An AD is not much in the way of a degree but is far better than none at all.

If she is not a USC or not as I didn't bother to look up your or her status. If she is not one, but she has experience within the legal field as an assistant, then she should have no problem finding new employment.

Yes, the workplace in the US is completely different than that of the UK. There are no safety nets for workers but still harassment can be reported to both HR and then if not rectified it can be taken to the federal agency overseeing employment issues. Sorry, I don't recall the name of it at the moment.

US workers do not necessarily live to work. This is very untrue and while it might pertain to upper management to a degree, it is most certainly not true of the middle workers. Yes, there is not the going out to drink after working hours culture in the US. If they do so, it is with friends, not with colleagues from the workplace. In the US I have always been told and have found that you keep your personal life separate from your professional life.

Going out on the limb here, but I would say that America is not a drinking culture such as you will find in the UK or in most of Europe. None of the Americans I know will have a drink at night or every day. And that includes a bottle of beer. I see on the train at night that the Irish immigrants will always come on the train with two or more cans of beer and consume them all within the 25 minute train ride to their stop. Definitely not an American action.

I fully understand your unhappiness with our work situation. If you are a foreigner worker, it is definitely not what you are use to. Not being mean spirited here, but I think it is time for you to go back to where you can be happy and content.
You make it sound like the UK culture is bad. We don't drink every night, and going out and socializing with your colleagues isn't about getting lashed. It's about getting to know the people you sit with for 8 hours a day, most of us don't spend that much time with the people we live with.

A lot of it is about developing friendships and along with that comes trust, some of my best friends are people I've met through work. While working with them, sometimes we would go for lunch and have a coke and a sandwich, sometimes we would go to the shops, other times a walk around the block to get some fresh air, occasionally we would have a few drinks on a night.

I've had drunken nights with my bosses, it has never effected our working relationship other than to make it more open.

The places both my husband and I have worked in the US it has been difficult to establish friendships as people infrequently socialize inside or outside the work enviroment, if you do go out socially you find people are afraid of saying something that may be held against them in the office, something you don't come across in the UK.
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Old Mar 14th 2012, 9:16 pm
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

I think a lot of this depends on where you work and at what level. For those of us lower down in the pecking order I feel it is easier to make friends with work colleagues. I'm not saying I'd be going out drinking with management or anything like that but the people I have come across that are working at a similar level to me I've made some good friends with. My husband who is higher up in the pecking order has also made some acquaintances through work but I don't think he's particularly socialized with them outside of work time, they often go for lunch but no after work dinner or drinks.

It's just a very difficult situation for the OP's wife, no-one should have to put up with being screamed at. She really needs to try and involve HR if they have one at her place of work. It may make things slightly awkward but maybe these guys aren't even aware of what they are doing.
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Old Mar 14th 2012, 10:22 pm
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

I'm done with America. I need to get home. At this point my sanity is at risk. She's just going to quit and we're going to be homeless. Land of the free my arse. I need to leave or my life is over. I don't want to be homeless in a country where many people believe the poor should simply starve. Screw this place.
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Old Mar 14th 2012, 10:31 pm
  #36  
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Originally Posted by Ethelred_the_Unready
I wanted to add to this thread that I'm more concerned about my wife. She had a massive panic attack yesterday because her attorney boss screamed at her and berated her for something she didn't do wrong. It's not the first time it's happened either. She's too terrified to go back today.

I tried to get advice on this in an employment forum. No one had any good advice, two replied "this is not the UK", one made a stupid remark about socialism, one told her to "suck it up and grow a thicker skin", the only helpful response was one suggesting she got laid off and may be able to collect UI.

I'm seriously done with America. The UK is nowhere near perfect, but I know we would both be happier there.
No one has the right to scream at anyone else in the workplace regardless of what has happened - it is plain and simple bullying and I would most certainly say something immediately - there are ways to deal with this situation the most effective of which is to confront the person immediately which not everyone wants to do.

I realise it is a bit late for that now which is a pity: bullies, when confonted, will always back down. (Yes, there's a chance he might fire your wife but if she's too terrified to go back what's the difference anyway? Isn't her health and mental well being more important?)

Whatver happens good luck - hope you work it out.
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Old Mar 14th 2012, 10:34 pm
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Originally Posted by N1cky
You make it sound like the UK culture is bad. We don't drink every night, and going out and socializing with your colleagues isn't about getting lashed. It's about getting to know the people you sit with for 8 hours a day, most of us don't spend that much time with the people we live with.

A lot of it is about developing friendships and along with that comes trust, some of my best friends are people I've met through work. While working with them, sometimes we would go for lunch and have a coke and a sandwich, sometimes we would go to the shops, other times a walk around the block to get some fresh air, occasionally we would have a few drinks on a night.

I've had drunken nights with my bosses, it has never effected our working relationship other than to make it more open.

The places both my husband and I have worked in the US it has been difficult to establish friendships as people infrequently socialize inside or outside the work enviroment, if you do go out socially you find people are afraid of saying something that may be held against them in the office, something you don't come across in the UK.
Yes well said.

Originally Posted by Ethelred_the_Unready
I'm done with America. I need to get home. At this point my sanity is at risk. She's just going to quit and we're going to be homeless. Land of the free my arse. I need to leave or my life is over. I don't want to be homeless in a country where many people believe the poor should simply starve. Screw this place.
Sorry it's escalated to this point.
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Old Mar 14th 2012, 10:39 pm
  #38  
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Originally Posted by Ethelred_the_Unready
I'm done with America. I need to get home. At this point my sanity is at risk. She's just going to quit and we're going to be homeless. Land of the free my arse. I need to leave or my life is over. I don't want to be homeless in a country where many people believe the poor should simply starve. Screw this place.
Aww I am sorry it's got to that point.
Is your wife willing to move home to UK? If her Mum is on east coast at least it's easier to get to from UK than the West coast and she'll have more holiday time to go and see her.
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Old Mar 14th 2012, 10:57 pm
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Originally Posted by Ethelred_the_Unready
I'm done with America. I need to get home. At this point my sanity is at risk. She's just going to quit and we're going to be homeless. Land of the free my arse. I need to leave or my life is over. I don't want to be homeless in a country where many people believe the poor should simply starve. Screw this place.
Sorry it's got to that stage for you
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Old Mar 14th 2012, 11:21 pm
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Thanks for your input all. I love my fellow countrymen and I love my country. I hope to be back on her shores soon.
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Old Mar 14th 2012, 11:47 pm
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Originally Posted by Rete
If she is so upset about working where she is why doesn't she just up and quit? If she can't be transferred to another attorney within the same law firm, then it is time to leave their employment. An AD is not much in the way of a degree but is far but I think it is time for you to go back to where you can be happy and content.


What is an AD? Sorry for asking
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Old Mar 15th 2012, 12:44 am
  #42  
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Originally Posted by messirules
What is an AD? Sorry for asking
Associates Degree....a HND.
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Old Mar 15th 2012, 1:19 am
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Originally Posted by Ethelred_the_Unready
I don't mean from an actual work perspective. I believe in working hard and not slacking off. I have simply found that working here in the US has been too bitter of a pill to swallow. These are my reasons, some may sound odd, but I wanted to put this "out there" to see if I'm either bonkers or if others feel the same way:

- Corporate people here are generally very uptight and talk about nothing but work (I was actually openly reprimanded for discussing the Vikings!). My humour also has never gone down too well and I miss the banter of British offices and the broader mix of people.
- Living to work, not working to live.
- Less team work, more "throw you under the bus" and CYA than the average UK office environment.
- Sheer bloody incompetence everywhere.
- The harder you work, the more you get taken advantage of.
- I hate cubicles and prefer the open office layout where I don't have to IM my boss or rely on email too much.
- Lots of backstabbing.
- Managers who act beyond unprofessionally.
- Too many silly corporate functions, no "hey let's go down the pub after work and grab a couple of pints".
- College degrees required to work $12 an hour menial jobs that a trained chimp could do blindfolded.
- Too many snappy overachievers.
- Cruelty galore.
- Awful dress code, particularly women, some of whom come to work dressed like streetwalkers. Dress down doesn't mean dress like a ho'.
- Few employee rights mean that employers can get away with treating employees like crap, engagin in behaviour that's borderline harassment (as is the case with my wife, who could go to ACAS or CAB back home to lodge a complaint).

I have worked for 4 different companies here, one medium sized, one small, one nonprofit and one large. All the same, you're very much thrown to the wolves and left to sink or swim.
OMG - you could be describing my place of employment - it is exactly like that!! Some of the managers I have had have no clue what the word "professionalism" means!! I work for a large Fortune 500 company. I really do not enjoy my job, but need the money, benefits, etc. There was a time (a few years ago) when I really didn't want to go into work at all. When Sunday evening would come, I would start having panic attacks just thinking about the week ahead. I actually ended up going to counseling, it got so bad. Now I just take things one day at a time, and I try to think that "it's my job, not my life". I know that can be hard, but I am 58 and I haven't a hope of getting another decent paying job in this economy. It's the only way I can get through the week.
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Old Mar 15th 2012, 4:05 pm
  #44  
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Originally Posted by Ethelred_the_Unready
I'm done with America. I need to get home. At this point my sanity is at risk. She's just going to quit and we're going to be homeless. Land of the free my arse. I need to leave or my life is over. I don't want to be homeless in a country where many people believe the poor should simply starve. Screw this place.
Not good, mate. All the best for the future, wherever that may be
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Old Mar 15th 2012, 4:31 pm
  #45  
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Default Re: Anyone else finding working in the US too tough?

Sorry it didn't work out for the OP. I broadly agree with his assessment of the American workplace.

I do miss my lunchtime boozing. However I also like having colleagues with nice teeth.

I'm lucky in that I have a well-tempered and experienced Dutch boss who shields our team from most of the bullshit you get at a Fortune 500. Nevertheless we have our troublemakers/rivals in the company. Too bad for them that our team is amazing at what we do and they are all going to get crushed by a Scottish steamroller.


Incidentally, as an observation, the biggest perpetrators of bullshit around here are not the Americans, but other expats. Something about being a middle-manager/aspiring executive who escaped a developing country that seems to generate a certain type of corporate sociopath.

Last edited by caleyjag; Mar 15th 2012 at 4:34 pm.
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