Originally Posted by bromleygirl

Thanks Scbrit. Sometimes I have wondered if I am the only returnee that feels this way so in a sense it almost validates how I have interpreted my situation when I hear others dealing with the same thing.
I honestly believe that I will see more of friends and family if I move back to the States as i think they will make more of an effort to make time to see us either when we come for a visit or coming out to see us. I just hope I don't have to explain myself too much of my decision to leave again.

Originally Posted by simongb

It was great to read this thread. My father is very sick right now in the UK, my mum is getting older and sicker too. I have a good job here in the US that allowed me to take time off (3 months!) fully paid and I am going back again for two more months in June. I have a house in the US, a car, I don't have to think about being able to afford going out to eat or buying clothes etc. The UK is very expensive. Even going out for coffee can cost a lot. However, I love being home (the UK). Love it. Love reading the Guardian, going to M and S, love being close to my family, going out on a Saturday night to the pub, riding the bus, LOVE Radio 4, etc. I have been on the forum for years and have gone back and forth about what I should do. I am going to try and get a job when I go home (I can take a leave here for a year from my position) and if it works out, I will stay. If it doesn't, I will come back. I am giving myself two months to make a decision. I cannot imagine not living in the UK again. When I think about staying in the US forever, it just doesn't make any sense in my head. The UK feels like home to me and when I am there all the doubt, all the bad feelings, all the confusion goes away. I just hope I have the guts to do the right thing!

Originally Posted by dunroving

Summer 2008's not far away ... spring is nearly over. Do you have a job lined up yet?

You're not alone, there are plenty of us lurkers on here who pick and choose our moments.

Originally Posted by simongb

It was great to read this thread. My father is very sick right now in the UK, my mum is getting older and sicker too. I have a good job here in the US that allowed me to take time off (3 months!) fully paid and I am going back again for two more months in June. I have a house in the US, a car, I don't have to think about being able to afford going out to eat or buying clothes etc. The UK is very expensive. Even going out for coffee can cost a lot. However, I love being home (the UK). Love it. Love reading the Guardian, going to M and S, love being close to my family, going out on a Saturday night to the pub, riding the bus, LOVE Radio 4, etc. I have been on the forum for years and have gone back and forth about what I should do. I am going to try and get a job when I go home (I can take a leave here for a year from my position) and if it works out, I will stay. If it doesn't, I will come back. I am giving myself two months to make a decision. I cannot imagine not living in the UK again. When I think about staying in the US forever, it just doesn't make any sense in my head. The UK feels like home to me and when I am there all the doubt, all the bad feelings, all the confusion goes away. I just hope I have the guts to do the right thing!

Originally Posted by simongb

It was great to read this thread. My father is very sick right now in the UK, my mum is getting older and sicker too. I have a good job here in the US that allowed me to take time off (3 months!) fully paid and I am going back again for two more months in June. I have a house in the US, a car, I don't have to think about being able to afford going out to eat or buying clothes etc. The UK is very expensive. Even going out for coffee can cost a lot. However, I love being home (the UK). Love it. Love reading the Guardian, going to M and S, love being close to my family, going out on a Saturday night to the pub, riding the bus, LOVE Radio 4, etc. I have been on the forum for years and have gone back and forth about what I should do. I am going to try and get a job when I go home (I can take a leave here for a year from my position) and if it works out, I will stay. If it doesn't, I will come back. I am giving myself two months to make a decision. I cannot imagine not living in the UK again. When I think about staying in the US forever, it just doesn't make any sense in my head. The UK feels like home to me and when I am there all the doubt, all the bad feelings, all the confusion goes away. I just hope I have the guts to do the right thing!

Originally Posted by bromleygirl

IIn an ideal world I would love to have my main home in the US and a small flat/house in the UK that I can retreat to for a few weeks every year to got my Brit fix.

Originally Posted by snarkypsice

Hi all,

This is my first post as I just discovered this wonderful forum.

Husband and I left the UK 19 years ago - lived in Toronto for 6 years and loved it. Got Canadian citizenship then moved to New York where we have been for the last 13 years. We have a beautiful house, we've started our own business and we have a decent standard of living (although it's declining rapidly thanks to the awful economy and government policies I won't get into).

When I first came here, I loved it. I'm from a little village outside Leeds and yet NYC felt like home to me. I loved traveling the US. I loved (and still love) the positive outlook and optimism here. I love the sunshine. I love that people encourage you to try anything. I love that they hug openly. There is almost no crime where we live. There are no gangs of drunk kids roaming the streets late at night. Sexism is almost non-existent, or has been in my life anyway. I love so many things about this place and we have a lifestyle we couldn't have dreamed of in England.

BUT ... OTOH, we miss our families and friends increasingly. We feel alienated in what the US culture has become. We don't see much hope of things changing. We are in our mid-forties and like most US citizens we are one major illness away from losing everything because our health care system sucks. Our parents are aging and we're not there to help them. We don't have kids, so we have each other and the few friends we've made since we moved here. Those friends are not like our old friends in the UK - the ones we've had since college and who know everything about us.

But the conflict comes because I can't say I have ever missed the UK. Ideally I'd blend the best of both places and live in Utopia

But I can't and so I'm torn. I see so many posts by people who hate where they are now and just can't wait to get back to the UK. I envy you the certainty!

I'm just wondering if there's anyone else who is more conflicted like me ... and if so, how are you making (or how did you make) your decision about what to do?

Originally Posted by bromleygirl

I can definitley hold my hand up and say I am conflicted. I moved back to the UK almost 4 years ago and as with other posters found at first everyone rallied around myself and my 2 children however, after the initial weeks/months friends and family fell off and now we see them every few months. I don't want to say that I moved back for other people but family and friends were a factor in my decision making.
I can now see that I should only make decisions for myself and my children. If this means that we will have a higher standard of living and be able to afford a home back in the States then this is what I beleive I need to do and if friends and family want to come and visit us then they are more than welcome to do so.
I know I will miss the UK and there are times when I do feel torn but I know I won't miss the rain, wind and gales! I have though finally made the choice to move back to the States and am at peace with my decision.

Originally Posted by Deux petits chats

I am currently living in Paris, France and am very conflicted about moving back to London. I have been living in Paris for about a year but am having trouble fitting in. I know that I must try to fit in and I can speak French fairly well. I have a job here and talk with co-workers but it's not easy to get their sense of humour etc. The lifestyle is completely different here, I did expect this but didn't realise how long it would take me to adjust. I miss the pubs, the "knowing it's Friday feeling", the humour and wit of course and especially the t.v! I am addicted to BBC and Sky news which are the only English channels I have. My problem is that I am in a relationship with a Frenchman, he is wonderful and he loves it here. I can't say that I hate it and probably need to give it more time, but I definitely cannot live in Paris for the rest of my life. I really appreciate England and English people now because the customer service and rudeness of some people here is mind boggling! I have been told that this is normal for Paris as any other major city, I'm sure life would be better in the countryside. Anyway, I am trying to decide if I should stay here and stick this out or go back to London and have to move back in with my parents for a while until I find a job. I am 28, so I have time to start over again. It's not an easy decision to have to make, because he doesn't want to move with me. Thanks all for listening, I really love this forum.

Originally Posted by franki

Definitely conflicted!! I moved back just over a year ago with my US hubby and 2 kids. After losing my mum, my dad having health problems and me being miserable, we sold our lovely house, gave up our comfortable lifestyle and came back to UK. Things went quite well, we found jobs, bought a house but I sit here now wishing we could afford to go back. It seems I always post the same story on here so apologies for that. It's just so confusing though. The thing I miss most is having the time to spend with my family. We have to work so much here just to make ends meet, we don't get the same family time as we did in US. In a way I feel like my children are neglected here because of the lack of time. Even when I do have time to play with them, I'm always thinking about other things I need to do. Even though, I don't want my kids to be spoiled, it would be nice to be able to spend money on them when we want to. People often say we should be glad of what we have, but it's hard when we've had it better.
Then there's the health care. It does scare me to think that an illness over in US could wipe you out financially, but it scares me too that the care just isn't as good over here. I know there are good doctors about but the one I have now is definitely not one of them.
The kids here bother me too. They just hang around outside the shops. That is the last thing I want for my kids.
Oh I just don't know!! Sorry to waffle on but some days I just feel so depressed about it all.