Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
Dec 23rd 2009, 12:35 am
#16
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Kentucky - Green Card came 2 months after marrying! :D
Posts: 188
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
Ok, just going to play devil's advocate here for a second:
Perhaps you're looking at these posts the wrong way. You asked, "Just wondered how you other Brits are getting on?!" Some of the "snide remarks" you say are "unproductive" are actually a very realistic response to your question. Some expats are unemployed. Some are having a difficult time putting food on the table. Some consider $50 leftover at the end of the month a luxury. That's how THEY'RE getting on (or not, as the case may be) -- like it or not, they ARE answering your question.
And frankly, if that is what they're experiencing right now, can you really blame them for the bitter tone? I mean, I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to be experiencing any of those things right now, and if I was then I wouldn't be happy about it at all.
Don't get me wrong -- it's inexcusable for anyone to attack you (or anyone else) personally. But the fact that a response is infused with frustration, annoyance and/or bitterness doesn't make that response any less "productive" than responses with a more positive vibe. Hope that makes sense.
Ultimately, one of the really good things about this forum is that it allows us to come together to share and reflect on our experiences, to extend a sympathetic ear and to a certain degree provide a bit of support. So considering the sensitive and emotional topic of this thread, I think it would behoove all of us to take a deep breath and realize that no one is trying to put anyone down or make themselves superior to anyone else. If you ask an honest question, you need to be willing to give -- and receive -- an honest answer. If you can be polite to others in the process, that's even better.
~ Jenney
Perhaps you're looking at these posts the wrong way. You asked, "Just wondered how you other Brits are getting on?!" Some of the "snide remarks" you say are "unproductive" are actually a very realistic response to your question. Some expats are unemployed. Some are having a difficult time putting food on the table. Some consider $50 leftover at the end of the month a luxury. That's how THEY'RE getting on (or not, as the case may be) -- like it or not, they ARE answering your question.
And frankly, if that is what they're experiencing right now, can you really blame them for the bitter tone? I mean, I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to be experiencing any of those things right now, and if I was then I wouldn't be happy about it at all.
Don't get me wrong -- it's inexcusable for anyone to attack you (or anyone else) personally. But the fact that a response is infused with frustration, annoyance and/or bitterness doesn't make that response any less "productive" than responses with a more positive vibe. Hope that makes sense.
Ultimately, one of the really good things about this forum is that it allows us to come together to share and reflect on our experiences, to extend a sympathetic ear and to a certain degree provide a bit of support. So considering the sensitive and emotional topic of this thread, I think it would behoove all of us to take a deep breath and realize that no one is trying to put anyone down or make themselves superior to anyone else. If you ask an honest question, you need to be willing to give -- and receive -- an honest answer. If you can be polite to others in the process, that's even better.
~ Jenney
Re: remarks, fair point if people are bitter about the situation. I think most people would find the "quit whining" not very helpful... but hey it's a forum. I appreciate helpful answers more than harsh one-word answers!
Dec 23rd 2009, 1:03 am
#17
Septic Sprout
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Shanghai
Posts: 7,993
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
Note taken... you are right $50 is a luxury to some.
Re: remarks, fair point if people are bitter about the situation. I think most people would find the "quit whining" not very helpful... but hey it's a forum. I appreciate helpful answers more than harsh one-word answers!
Re: remarks, fair point if people are bitter about the situation. I think most people would find the "quit whining" not very helpful... but hey it's a forum. I appreciate helpful answers more than harsh one-word answers!
Dec 23rd 2009, 1:30 am
#18
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 3,259
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
b) Oh I'm sorry, you only wanted useful responses. Perhaps you should have specified that.
c) Well I answered that in my post.
Last edited by BritishGuy36; Dec 23rd 2009 at 1:42 am.
Dec 23rd 2009, 1:40 am
#19
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
ajc sounds like he's trying hard and just feeling a bit done in at Christmastime.Merry Christmas ajcmals
Dec 23rd 2009, 2:12 am
#20
BE Co-Founder
Joined: Feb 2000
Location: Florida
Posts: 25,928
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
To ajcmals, it's early days yet, give it time and gradually things will start clicking into place and get easier.
Dec 23rd 2009, 2:34 am
#21
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,542
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
Note taken... you are right $50 is a luxury to some.
Re: remarks, fair point if people are bitter about the situation. I think most people would find the "quit whining" not very helpful... but hey it's a forum. I appreciate helpful answers more than harsh one-word answers!
Re: remarks, fair point if people are bitter about the situation. I think most people would find the "quit whining" not very helpful... but hey it's a forum. I appreciate helpful answers more than harsh one-word answers!
My remedy is to go and see 'The Road' this week at the movies. I have read the book so I know that its utter despair and desolation will put my woes into perspective.
I have also been listening to Chris Evans on radio 2 and appreciating how wonderful the BBC is. Happy Christmas, it will never be the same but you never know, it may actually be better!
Dec 23rd 2009, 2:40 am
#22
So I am where?
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 485
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
When I first came to the states I got one week off after the 1st year, now I work for a company that as I have been there over 5 years, actually get 5 weeks off a year, my wife only get 3 weeks a year.
Yes it was a struggle at first with everything,thankfully I was able to pay everything off when I left the UK, but money was very tight.
For the next month write down every cent you spend, it's amazing how many people waste money and don't even realize it.
I have helped more than 1/2 a dozen people at work, make better use of their money.
One very good thing that my father taught me, and it works, becoming self aware is the first step.
Yes it was a struggle at first with everything,thankfully I was able to pay everything off when I left the UK, but money was very tight.
For the next month write down every cent you spend, it's amazing how many people waste money and don't even realize it.
I have helped more than 1/2 a dozen people at work, make better use of their money.
One very good thing that my father taught me, and it works, becoming self aware is the first step.
Dec 23rd 2009, 3:23 am
#23
Here, there, everywhere..
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Cocoa, Florida
Posts: 34
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
Like so many others have said, having a job is something to be very grateful for at the moment. Presently, I have no job, which means no insurance which in itself worries me in this country! Also I am still trying to build up my credit which is near impossible when you don't have a job, and as I didn't come here due to marrying a USC I can't even piggyback on my other halves credit so its doubly difficult.
Finally I'm spending Christmas (and the next 5 months) thousand of miles away from my boyfriend of 7 years as we cannot afford for him to take time off from his job in the UK as he is getting made redundant in the New Year so needs every penny!
So I think although things suck right now, things to be grateful for still outway the crap and I'm trying to remain positive by thinking at least I get to spend Christmas with some family around me and at the end of the day if you can spend time with the people you love you can't really put a price on that!!
Whinge over! Merry Christmas everyone!!
Finally I'm spending Christmas (and the next 5 months) thousand of miles away from my boyfriend of 7 years as we cannot afford for him to take time off from his job in the UK as he is getting made redundant in the New Year so needs every penny!
So I think although things suck right now, things to be grateful for still outway the crap and I'm trying to remain positive by thinking at least I get to spend Christmas with some family around me and at the end of the day if you can spend time with the people you love you can't really put a price on that!!
Whinge over! Merry Christmas everyone!!
Dec 23rd 2009, 3:33 am
#24
The Kwisatz Haderach
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,080
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
Sometimes I think the lack of safety net and the lousy hoilday allotments make things seem really awful. It's hard to look at your own circumstances and realize you are only a couple of paychecks from disaster and living in your car.
We are doing OK compared to some, badly compared to others. I have found the money not going as far as it used to, the savings dwindling. So come the new year I go on the hunt for a job, part time or whatever I find, so we can replenish the savings at least and keep up.
Sorry you are having a hard time, it's easy to find someone having a worse time that you are, and yet it doesn't make you feel better about your own life. (Well it doesn't for me anyway)
Things started getting on top of me about money etc this summer (after I spent a bloody fortune taking the kids to see Gran in UK) That I started to have anxiety problems, but hopefully all sorted for now and I've calmed down a bit.
A least I have Christmas paid off, just some food to buy for Friday.
We are doing OK compared to some, badly compared to others. I have found the money not going as far as it used to, the savings dwindling. So come the new year I go on the hunt for a job, part time or whatever I find, so we can replenish the savings at least and keep up.
Sorry you are having a hard time, it's easy to find someone having a worse time that you are, and yet it doesn't make you feel better about your own life. (Well it doesn't for me anyway)
Things started getting on top of me about money etc this summer (after I spent a bloody fortune taking the kids to see Gran in UK) That I started to have anxiety problems, but hopefully all sorted for now and I've calmed down a bit.
A least I have Christmas paid off, just some food to buy for Friday.
Dec 23rd 2009, 3:44 am
#25
Account Closed
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 0
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
In another 20 years you'll think back to this first year here and be amazed how you managed to get by, how you coped with a whole new lifestyle, how hard it was with missing home and all that was familiar to you. You'll get there eventually, just give it time
Dec 23rd 2009, 4:02 am
#26
Shocked of Redmond
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Redmond, WA
Posts: 3,446
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
)I've been very lucky since moving here, and only had a couple of months without a job. Still, I got off my bum, and got out and about, doing stuff at the local library, like putting out thousands and thousand of tax forms in the lobby.
Really, though, I've had it easy, but I'm not going to tell ajcmals not to gripe. Everyone has a right to bitch from time to time: First Amendment, people!
And Happy Zmas, everyone!!!
(The "Z" is for Zombie).
Dec 23rd 2009, 4:27 am
#27
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 7,605
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
Yep, season of good will, have a vent, we're all in it together. Let's try to "be nice" as the absent and much lamented Mr F used to say.
That said, I'm going to come to BG36's defence (a bit). His initial offering was a little harsh, in a djb1000 stylee, but I can understand his frustration.
There's a group of us on here, who have little in common except that we all started the immigration process when the economy was all rosy and reached the put up or shut up point when it was in the shitter. Those of us who moved gave up financial security for a gamble against the odds. As of today, we haven't all won.
We made our choices and have to live with them. But I hope people will understand if we sometimes get a bit moody.
That said, I'm going to come to BG36's defence (a bit). His initial offering was a little harsh, in a djb1000 stylee, but I can understand his frustration.
There's a group of us on here, who have little in common except that we all started the immigration process when the economy was all rosy and reached the put up or shut up point when it was in the shitter. Those of us who moved gave up financial security for a gamble against the odds. As of today, we haven't all won.
We made our choices and have to live with them. But I hope people will understand if we sometimes get a bit moody.
Dec 23rd 2009, 6:05 am
#28
Arrogant ****
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Plano, TX
Posts: 4,323
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
For the record, I haven't ever gone on the attack regarding people's job, lack or job or financial situation.
...but everything else is fair game.
Dec 23rd 2009, 6:08 am
#29
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Milwaukie, Oregon
Posts: 9,966
Re: Am I the only Brit Struggling?!
You're entitled to. I'm lucky I haven't found a job in 3 years but I do have an income every month. Just not being able to find a reasonable job is bad enough but to be in the position yourself and BG36 are in is a lot worse so I for one understand if sometimes your sympathy mode doesn't work.
