USBound

well as some of you know my girlfriend moved in back in December and in feb her 2 boys came to us for 2months. Jackie and her ex had worked out a 2 month rota where we basically swap over. They went back to their father in Texas on around april 1st and are due back here tomorrow.

now heres the problem... today her ex rings us at 7pm our time (9pm texas time) and says... you're not taking them back. His reasoning was that he says the kids must stay in texas for 6months in order to gain residency for tax reasons. I can find nothing about this on the texas website nor could he provide any references... after about 10minutes of reasoning he hung up and would not answer calls.

We have called the local courthouse in Texas (he's in cedar falls) and they will be hearing from us tomorrow.

what I need to know is.. has anyone heard of this kind of thing before? What can we do... I checked the law and what he is doing may actually be considered kidnapping but... not being from here I'm not really sure.

jackie and I are both VERY upset over this and are looking for any help/advice anyone can give.

thanks
andy

AdobePinon

I don't know much about this stuff, but two things important to know are:
a. Who has legal custody?
b. 'worked out a 2 month rota'. Did this deal involve the courts or a legal contract? Or was it more like a spoken agreement?

fatbrit

Who's claiming the children tax-wise? i.e. Who get the tax right-off?

And what were you doing about school?

GeoKorBarton

Hello Andy,
I live in Dallas,Texas and what your girlfriend ex is speaking of is using the kids for taxes on his tax return. Which is a large sum of money. If your girlfriend has an attorney here in Texas, She can contact the attorney and explain what her ex is doing. She could also let the IRS know what he is doing. It is true that the children need to be in the U.S. at least six months for him to claim them on his taxes. I think her ex is not a nice person to use the children like that they are innocent.

Sarah

I think the fact that the guy called you THE NIGHT BEFORE and announced that the children wouldn't be coming up to you in CA is very, very, dodgy.
If he was any sort of a decent, considerate, mature, man and father then surely he would've discussed his thoughts on the kids staying in TX and his tax returns a lot sooner?
This sounds like the beginning of some sort of game to me, highlighted by the fact that he then refused to answer the phone. A mind game and an emotional one. By giving you this very distressing information, and the way that he did it seems to show that his desired reaction was, firstly to upset the kids mother, your girlfriend (which of course is the best way to hurt someone, through their children) and secondly to bring about some kind of confrontation/trouble concerning the kids and who should have custody/power. Maybe he's jealous of the fact that the mother of his children has moved on (from him) and is lashing out. Maybe he wants to flex his muscles and let you know he's in charge and you're not going to take over as the kids father.
Any one of these is possible. Is he an ego-driven person, is he monetarily-driven?
I would proceed with caution, think through every move you make, and everything you say, especially when communicating directly with him. You might want to cease all direct communication and only deal with him through a lawyer from now on. Document everything. It might be wise to also consult a family therapist, as they are usually expertly skilled in communicating effectively in these tricky and emotionally charged situations.
My best wishes to you both. I hope you get this matter sorted out as soon as possible.
Sarah.

snorkmaiden

He sounds like a fairly low life father to be using his kids in this way Andy.

As Sarah mentioned, try not to get involved in a slanging match with him. Document everything and get a lawyer on it pronto. Try and do everything by the book.

I can't begin to imagine what you guys are going through, I'm thinking of you.


Leah

USBound

the divorce is not yet settled... what they have is a temporary agreement properly arranged detailing the 2month rota up to the end of the year. The kids are 2 & 3 so schooling is not yet an issue, and they would NOT be leaving the US; we live in woodland hills CA. Further they filed taxes jointly as far as I know... I'll find this one out today.

What we have now found out is that he did NOT fill out his divorce papers and has effectively had the original divorce dismissed in Wisconsin (where they lived together) and has now filed in Texas without speaking to us. This worries me as neither of us knows much about texas state divorce law.

Jackie is currently attempting to speak to a judge in her Ex's locality and get further information.

andy

looselips

Document EVERYTHING! Dates,times, conversations.

You may not need it but always good to have this just in case. Good luck mate.

Bob

Record any conversations you might have, if you can, if it's legal in CA...don't know if you need to inform the person if your recording or not, but it might be worth doing if you can.

Goodluck.

fatbrit

http://www.rcfp.org/taping/cwt_menu.html

Bob

Handy link

snowbunny

Where have the children lived in the past six months?

Was the temporary order outlining child custody filed *with a court* in Wisconsin? If so, contact the law authorities in Texas and present them with the court order. They are required by law to enforce the order, including removing the children from the father and giving them to the mother. If the temporary order *was not filed* but was an informal agreement between lawyers, you have a huge fight on your hands.

I smell a BIG skunk. The six months residency in Texas would give Texas jurisdiction over where the children reside and it is very likely that they would be restricted to living in Texas.

Texas law is very advantageous to whoever is considered the 'primary caregiver' for children under three, granting them near total custody.

You dearly need a lawyer in California and perhaps in Texas, and you should file a UCCJA right away. If he has filed one in Texas, you need to immediately challenge it by saying that the children have not been domiciled in Texas continuously for the preceding six months.

Texas does not recognise legal separation; if your girlfriend has sex with you, it is considered adultery and could be used against her in gaining custody of the children.

Lesley1020

Was the agreement recorded or approved in the courts? I am thinking that if it was and the 2 month rota was court ordered then he is in violation of this... Either way, sounds like you are doing the right things by getting in touch with an attorney ASAP...

I would be amazed if he could just do this and get away with it. Just a suggestion, but have you thought about calling the police in TX and explaining the situation and telling them what legal documents you hold.

My heart goes out to you both, I hope you get this resolved soon. Sending good thoughts your way.

snowbunny

The girlfriend and the OP are in California; the children do not need to reside with the father for six months in order for him to take the dependency writeoff on federal taxes (there are no state income taxes in Texas). He must document that he provides more than half of their support, or there must be a court order in place that specifies which of the parents takes the children as a dependency deduction. In my case, we each take one child every year, rotating years.

snowbunny

He can if he manages to keep the children in Texas for the six months. It is imperative that the OP's girlfriend's lawyer file a UCCJA and contest any UCCJA that the father files.

Read up on the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act. You need to understand this very well as it is one of very few federal laws that address family law. OP, you do NOT want the custody determined in Texas court; either in the original jurisdiction of Wisconsin or in California (assuming the OP's girlfriend intends to permanently domicile in CA).