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Advice please

Advice please

Old Jul 12th 2009, 10:30 pm
  #1  
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Default Advice please

Hi,

Not sure if this should be in the MBUK forum or not but i thought as i`m still in the USA i would post it here.

Basically, i just recently applied to have the conditions on my green card removed due to being married to a USC. IE i-751. Anyway, a few days ago my wife and i decided to split up. It`s a very long story why, but just lets say that there is no hope of us getting back together. We are still living under the same roof, but that is just for practical reasons until i decide what to do.
The choice now i have to make is, do i stay here in the US and try build a life here ( i have a job and some money, some work friends but no family here) or do i go back to the the UK and hope i get get a job(not easy in this economic climate) but i`ll be with my family and friends.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Gazza
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Old Jul 12th 2009, 10:43 pm
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Default Re: Advice please

Originally Posted by gazza64 View Post
Hi,

Not sure if this should be in the MBUK forum or not but i thought as i`m still in the USA i would post it here.

Basically, i just recently applied to have the conditions on my green card removed due to being married to a USC. IE i-751. Anyway, a few days ago my wife and i decided to split up. It`s a very long story why, but just lets say that there is no hope of us getting back together. We are still living under the same roof, but that is just for practical reasons until i decide what to do.
The choice now i have to make is, do i stay here in the US and try build a life here ( i have a job and some money, some work friends but no family here) or do i go back to the the UK and hope i get get a job(not easy in this economic climate) but i`ll be with my family and friends.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Gazza
Not a decision I would want made for me by a bunch of strangers on an internet message board.

Seriously, it seems that you're asking an entirely subjective question. Some people cannot imagine living without the nearby support of their friends and family. Others cannot imagine not having the financial security and certainty of steady employment. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. How you feel about this is 100% your call, and I really can't think of much we could say here that would help you in your decision.
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Old Jul 12th 2009, 11:07 pm
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Default Re: Advice please

Thanks.

The reason i ask for advice is that i totally cannot decide about what to do. One half of my thinks i should just pack my bags head back to blighty, and my more stubborn side is telling me i should build a life for myself here,especially, as i and most other people on this site have had to jump many hurdles to get here and stay here in the US.

I`m not looking for someone on this website to make a decision for me, but just maybe gain some insight from someone else who has been in this position.
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Old Jul 12th 2009, 11:11 pm
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Default Re: Advice please

I very much agree dbj1000 it is a very personal decision and a lot depends on you and what your priorities are in life.

Whatever you decide each has advantages for you and neither choice is right or wrong.
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Old Jul 12th 2009, 11:16 pm
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Default Re: Advice please

Originally Posted by gazza64 View Post
Thanks.

The reason i ask for advice is that i totally cannot decide about what to do. One half of my thinks i should just pack my bags head back to blighty, and my more stubborn side is telling me i should build a life for myself here,especially, as i and most other people on this site have had to jump many hurdles to get here and stay here in the US.

I`m not looking for someone on this website to make a decision for me, but just maybe gain some insight from someone else who has been in this position.
Thinking about this again from your point of view, I'd say stay here and try making a go of things.

Why? Because, as you said, you've jumped through a lot of hoops to get here. If you don't give it a shot, you'll find yourself back in the UK where you started, and you'll never know if it could have worked out great in the US.

You're always free to return to the UK if you decide that's a better place for you. You're not going to find a way to move back to the US anything like that easily.

So, there you go, that's my advice - a total stranger on a web message board!
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Old Jul 12th 2009, 11:22 pm
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Default Re: Advice please

I`m going back to the UK for a holiday in a few weeks, so that`ll help or maybe not!
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Old Jul 12th 2009, 11:26 pm
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Default Re: Advice please

Originally Posted by gazza64 View Post
Thanks.

The reason i ask for advice is that i totally cannot decide about what to do. One half of my thinks i should just pack my bags head back to blighty, and my more stubborn side is telling me i should build a life for myself here,especially, as i and most other people on this site have had to jump many hurdles to get here and stay here in the US.

I`m not looking for someone on this website to make a decision for me, but just maybe gain some insight from someone else who has been in this position.
Yep stay, give yourself a time frame, like 1- 2 years, and a few goals and see how it goes.

I got divorced and stayed it was the best discission I ever made.

Now I dread it when have I to return to the UK for family....we are all different but you have come along way in the process, would be a pity to chuck it all away.
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Old Jul 12th 2009, 11:34 pm
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Default Re: Advice please

Hi Poppy,

What were the deciding factor(s) in you wanting to stay in the US rather than go back to the UK?
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Old Jul 13th 2009, 12:14 am
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Default Re: Advice please

Originally Posted by gazza64 View Post
Hi Poppy,

What were the deciding factor(s) in you wanting to stay in the US rather than go back to the UK?
A few really I was 41yrs old and had travelled all over the world so I was not the kinda person that cannot function without my family around, and needed to settle in one place I was tired of moving around.

I wanted to prove to myself that I could make a go of it here and that I would be successful, I had nothing except my parents back in the UK all my friends were married and moved on with their life's.
I loved the lifestyle in the US, everything just suited me and I felt at home, I knew I could earn more money in the US and it could open many doors for me in my career.
Now I have no children so please remember that, I only had moi to look after.

The UK had nothing to offer me except NHS

My lifestyle in the US far exceeds what I would have in the UK but I have busted my ass to get where I am

Basically there are many folk that would cut their right arm of to live here,and I was not going to let go of a lifetime opportunity......why would I want to take 2 steps back when I had been dealt the cards to move forward!

Just my thoughts

Last edited by Poppy girl; Jul 13th 2009 at 12:23 am.
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Old Jul 13th 2009, 12:26 am
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Default Re: Advice please

Originally Posted by gazza64 View Post
The choice now i have to make is, do i stay here in the US and try build a life here ( i have a job and some money, some work friends but no family here) or do i go back to the the UK and hope i get get a job(not easy in this economic climate) but i`ll be with my family and friends.
Hi
Your profile shows that you have asked variants of this before, what was wrong with the advice you got at the time?

In any case, it's a simple choice. Assuming you can remove the conditions on your GC, the choice is then yours to remain in the US and become a US citizen or not.

If you instead choose to go back to Britain, or some other country, that is your choice but do be aware that the door to return to the US would probably be closed.
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Old Jul 13th 2009, 12:45 am
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Default Re: Advice please

Hi Poppy,

I`m 44, and like you i`ve done a lot of travelling over the years. But, when i first came to the US i was quite homesick for awhile. But now i have come to appreciate what the US can offer, and also what it can`t. I don`t have an kids to consider so that makes thing`s easier, but i do have the strong pull of family and friends in the UK.

Hi JAJ,

Yeah, i have thought about going back the UK for good, then regretting not staying in the US, that`s why it`s so hard to make a decision. I`m going back to the UK in couple of weeks for a holiday, I guess that`s the only way i`ll really know.
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Old Jul 13th 2009, 1:16 am
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Default Re: Advice please

Originally Posted by gazza64 View Post
Hi Poppy,

I`m 44, and like you i`ve done a lot of travelling over the years. But, when i first came to the US i was quite homesick for awhile. But now i have come to appreciate what the US can offer, and also what it can`t. I don`t have an kids to consider so that makes thing`s easier, but i do have the strong pull of family and friends in the UK.

Hi JAJ,

Yeah, i have thought about going back the UK for good, then regretting not staying in the US, that`s why it`s so hard to make a decision. I`m going back to the UK in couple of weeks for a holiday, I guess that`s the only way i`ll really know.
If you base it on a 2 week trip to the UK then, you will probably decide to move back as it will be all hunky dory to start with seeing friends and family, going to the pub etc......then before you know it,you are back to square one and it was all a dream.....bye bye US.
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Old Jul 13th 2009, 3:00 am
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Default Re: Advice please

I would stay, for no other reason than, I got here and I can always go home, if it doesn't workout.
I haven't been home sick in the year I have been here, maybe because I moved round the UK a lot and don't have parents anymore so there is no place to call home?
I did go home for 21/2 months from dec to feb, but that was forced upon me, missed christmas and my boys birthdays, I enjoyed being back home and seeing family but after about 5 weeks I saw less and less of them! I was part of the furniture again, and the week before I left suddenly a flurry of invites!
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Old Jul 13th 2009, 5:24 am
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Default Re: Advice please

Originally Posted by gazza64 View Post
I`m going back to the UK for a holiday in a few weeks, so that`ll help or maybe not!
Has your current green card expired or will it expire while you're back home?

Do you have the 1-year extension letter in hand yet?

Make sure you are completely covered for overseas travel after filing the I-751.

Rene
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Old Jul 15th 2009, 4:14 pm
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Default Re: Advice please

Originally Posted by gazza64 View Post
Hi Poppy,

I`m 44, and like you i`ve done a lot of travelling over the years. But, when i first came to the US i was quite homesick for awhile. But now i have come to appreciate what the US can offer, and also what it can`t. I don`t have an kids to consider so that makes thing`s easier, but i do have the strong pull of family and friends in the UK.

Hi JAJ,

Yeah, i have thought about going back the UK for good, then regretting not staying in the US, that`s why it`s so hard to make a decision. I`m going back to the UK in couple of weeks for a holiday, I guess that`s the only way i`ll really know.
I am still happily with my husband, but I too have thought about whether to stay or go home. It's a difficult decision, especially when you are not yet a citizen of the US. I agree with what others have said about giving it a go here first. Go home for your holiday and have fun, then come back refreshed and see what you can figure out for yourself here. That's probably what i'd do.

I've felt homesick a lot over the past year or so, and I have the strong pull of family and friends too, but I do feel pretty lucky to have been given the opportunity to live and work in the US. As others have also said, if you go home now for good, you may not be able to come back. However, that said, there's not much point in staying here if you're very unhappy.
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