SultanOfSwing

It was about the same for us. The main difference was that I was able to spend a few months, over two visits, staying out here with her prior to her submitting the I-129F to start the K1 process.

civilservant

Mrs CS and I were a similar way, we met online, spent about 5 weeks together before getting married in total over 1.5 years, then spent another year apart (apart from 3 weeks) waiting for the visa.

Having arrived exactly a month ago today, this is the longest we have ever spent in each others company. We haven't killed each other. Yet.

Shezi59

Most of us know very little about immigration law until we have reason to look into it...

My husband and I knew that living together was never going to be an option for us unless one of us had a work visa in the other's country. You can either marry quickly in order to be able to live in the same country or you can take your time getting to know each other (as you might in any relationship) - we did this - but I can tell you that this is a very expensive option. We met online in a forum much like this one, talked every day on Skype/MSN for 2 years and made 10 transatlantic visits between us before he proposed. If we'd carried on 'getting to know each other' further, one or both of us would have gone broke. We'd hit a point after about a year where we both recognised that, if we lived in the next town to each other, we'd have lived together. Knowing that was never going to be an option raised the subject of marriage much earlier than I'd have liked - but there it is.

It's a bold move getting involved with someone who lives on a different continent and will, almost inevitably, involve marriage because of immigration restrictions. My advice to someone at your stage is that if you feel marrying without having spent lots of time together is too much of a risk, don't pursue it now. It's not for the faint-hearted (not that I'm suggesting you might be ) but you really don't get the same options as someone you might date in the same town.

As for work visa options? For all UK/US has that 'special relationship' it's much harder to get into the US than I'd originally thought before starting to research.

Pulaski

Now you're spoiling the tone and direction of the thread.

civilservant

Well one does not want to be overly optimistic... and there is a gun in the house...

SultanOfSwing

Have patience, attempted murder will come soon.

It's pretty much par for the course when you have children though, they actually come with a 'you will disagree about everything' guarantee.

Speedwell

Being in our mid-40s as we are, Jaffacakes and I are not exactly planning to have kids (not that it would be completely impossible, but the biological clock is just about to announce quitting time). That also made it more possible for us to consider marrying, since we knew kids wouldn't be involved if we broke up. But it also makes it more possible for us to stay married, since we don't have that complication. Meh.

For the record, we met online, chatted every day online till we met in person a few months later, decided we really got along well and had major feelings for each other, chatted twice a day for a few more months, decided marriage was the only reasonable option, did the trial thing, got married, did the visa, "lived together" for three months while the I-130 was processing, visited for a week in the UK, and then apart again for the rest of visa processing. We seem to have had more time than average for online romances before marriage, but we did marry only about ten months after meeting online.

mikelincs

Doesn't really answer the question which was what FIELD OF STUDY, you can get a BA in many different fields.

SultanOfSwing

My wife was a single parent when we met. Children were part of the equation for us from the beginning. I was also only 26 when we married so it wasn't a big deal, we both knew what we wanted to do and we did it. Now, after just abut nine years of being around each other, he son is near enough 'mine' in all but name and blood .

Even after we had our second, it still really doesn't complicate anything because if we were to break up, I'd stay around as close by as I could, I wouldn't go running off back to the UK again where I'd never see them again.

Noorah101

I spent only 6 weeks of real-life time with my fiancé before he got his K-1 visa, and that was spread over a period of 3 years.

Rene

Pulaski

Ditto (the quoted bit).

The irony was that we knew more about each other, our past, our plans, our hopes, our beliefs, our families, etc. etc., than we would have after several years of movies, dinners, baseball games, and family events, before we even met face-to-face, that we felt better prepared to commit to spending the rest of our lives together despite the short time spent actually together than if our relationship had followed a more conventional course.

civilservant

I would agree with that - when all you have is words, you tend to talk about anything and everything. I remember we had the most irreverent conversations about the most far flung things.

Speedwell

Completely agreed. But my husband said, and he was right, that we would have our little habits that got on each other's nerves. My major beef with him is that he stays up every night watching TV till 3. His major beef with me is that I can sometimes be impatient ("rude") with people when we're out shopping. We leave cabinet doors open, leave socks on the floor, decide in the middle of dinner that we don't really like what we're having after all, go out and forget to say where we are (that's me; I'll take it in my head to nip off to the market for something and not mean to be gone more than an hour)... we take it all in stride.

civilservant

See Mrs. CS says I'm impatient (and rude) with servers in restaurants, and then complains when I don't leave a huge tip - I on the other hand cant understand how she can leave clothes all over the place as if a nuclear weapon has been detonated in the laundry basket.

We all have our little foibles

Guindalf

Keep your foibles to yourself, please! This is a family friendly forum!!