tuppins

RIGHT
Think we are there....
We appreciate the good points Oz has to offer, and there are things that we will genuinely miss BUT We want to return to the UK - reasons being:

We could have a big house and 4x4 in Oz, but if we can't share it with the people that matter the most (parents/grandparents) then it just doesn't seem worth it.

The weather is stifling at times and we don't enjoy it.

We like old buildings and the feel of an old town, it is all so new here and we don't like it

We feel that we don't have anything to look forward to, we have flights booked to visit over xmas/new year, but that just means that we will have to say goodbye again

We will never be able to afford a holiday, all our savings will go into flights to visit relatives and even then we will only be able to fly back every 3yr.

Other than travelling Oz there are no cheap holiday destinations ie, from UK you can go to spain, portugal, turkey, greece etc., all have a different feel and cultures.

I have to schedule chats with my best friend because of the time difference.

I can't just pick the phone up and speak to family/friends.

We feel that we have little to look forward to.


I could go on..... and i know that we should have realised alot of this before we arrived but things are different when you get here. So, unless things improve we will be using our flights at the end of the year to return for good.
We have come to realise that where we came from is really quite nice and we didn't appreciate alot of things in the UK and the importance of family and REAL friends.

Please let me know if you also feel like this, i keep having to make lists to justify our decision....but we think the decision is made, i can breath a sigh of relief now

quoll

Sounds like you have been very rational and objective about your decisions. Cant say that I disagree with any of them really but for me the telling one was "little to look forward to" and I so agree with that. And the longer you are in Aus, if you already find it bland and boring, then it will continue to be blander and more boring as time goes on unfortunately.

I am at home at the moment and my DIL said to me the other day - you are a different person here, you look so good, it really suits you. Hmm, I think that is telling me what I always thought was the case.

Good luck with your decision, it isnt easy but I suspect once it is made for sure then you will feel the burden lifting from your shoulders!

EnglishRose15

[QUOTE=quoll;7515021]
I am at home at the moment and my DIL said to me the other day - you are a different person here, you look so good, it really suits you. Hmm, I think that is telling me what I always thought was the case.

/QUOTE]

Couldn't agree more, even though I have been in Aus for many years, when I go home I feel I am the 'real' me the one I am here, is less fun, and definitely less happy. Each time I go for a holiday, as soon as the lights of Heathrow come into view I feel a weight lifted off me I relax and feel I can say what I like without being afraid of putting my foot in it, and being made fun of, I don't realise how confined my life is until I am back home. We will hopefully be joining the leaving for good crowd next year.

Go with your instincts and try not to second-guess yourself, as this will only lead to self doubt.
Good Luck I shall follow your journey with interest.

Pollyana

[QUOTE=EnglishRose15;7515089] Sounds just like me. I know exactly what you mean about Heathrow coming into view, and I get the opposite feeling every time I come back to Brisbane - its like a weight and depression descending on me as we get nearer. I don't think about how I should be talking, how I should act, even how i should behave - its just insticnt. While I'm here I'm conscious that every time I speak or act I am putting on a show, hiding my real natural self.

Funky Monkey

I could go on..... and i know that we should have realised alot of this before we arrived but things are different when you get here. So, unless things improve we will be using our flights at the end of the year to return for good.
We have come to realise that where we came from is really quite nice and we didn't appreciate alot of things in the UK and the importance of family and REAL friends.

Please let me know if you also feel like this, i keep having to make lists to justify our decision....but we think the decision is made, i can breath a sigh of relief now

Hi there.

How long have you been in Australia?

I have only been here 8 months and always wanted to come here. I miss my family & friends and I was never going to miss them if that makes sense. My wife did not want to come here but likes it and has settled, the kids are in 2 minds but the eldest does not really like it.

We said we would give it 2 years and I know people say why but I feel that is a fair go at it. We are going back to the U.K next Easter for a visit to see how we feel and I cannot wait.

I have tried to embrace it here but from the start I have always had this "pain" inside and a feeling of not belonging. Sometimes it goes away for a week or so but it always returns. Maybe in time it will get better but deep down I feel that we will return although it is not just me there are others to think about.
I have less time here and a worse life in many ways and I do not even run as much anymore due to lack of time and that is my 2nd love and an important part of my life.

Sorry if that all sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself I am not, I just needed to get it off my chest

tuppins

Thanks for the replies.
I have been here 10months, i know that's not that long but long enough when you think about home ALL THE TIME. By the time we go back for Christmas we will have been here around 18months, which i think is a fair amount of time to make a reasonably informed decision. If we are in any doubt we will return over xmas as a UK reccie! and then return a couple of months later if we are 100% sure.

There is nothing wrong with it here, i just don't think it's for me. I knew when we arrived that i didn't like it, but i have perservered and at times i have been OK but i talk about home everyday.

FUNKY MONKEY
I am sorry that you are not happy. It must be hard if your partner feels otherwise, luckily we feel the same, we could take or leave it here.

I think that the 2yr rule is a good one, that should be enough time to settle if you are going to. It is a shame that the citizenship has been increased from 2 to 4yrs.

Hope things look up for you. It is good to get things off your chest though

lyndseyhepworth

I hope that reading these replies help......I know it did for me. 10 months is not bad, I made it 5 weeks in Canada and knew from day 1 that I shouldn't have made the move. I had my mind set on 2 years like you but I couldnt go on. I landed at Manchester last Thursday and I can honestly say I made the right decision. I have no regrets even though I know 5 weeks wasn't long and I am so happy to be home. Luckily I was on my own though so the decision only affected me. I agree with you about realising things when you actually get there, I have been to Canada many times over the last 22 years, researched the move, cried every time I left to come home, but when it came to the full move, nothing prepared me for how I felt......I didnt expect it at all!

All the best with your decision making.

Lynds

jmh

[QUOTE=Pollyana;7515223] I felt like that when I came to the UK 23 years ago. I still find it difficult to tell when a colleague is taking the piss, but I am better at getting it than I was. On the converse side, not 'fitting in' can free you to reinvent yourself, which I feel I have done. Is this the 'real' me. Who knows.

Anyway, back to your OP, the things that keep me here are great holiday opportunities and fear of that feeling you identify as 'not having anything to look forward to'. I suspect the latter one would take care of itself in time.

Funky Monkey

Thanks and again I feel the same as you. There is nothing wrong with it here as you said it is also not for me. You are right in that you would have given it a fair go after 18 months. I have met many people who feel like us who go back to the U.K for a visit and realise that Oz is where they want to be so who knows???
It is a shame about the citizenship rule as I could easy do the 2 years and get citizenship but I know I cannot stay here 4 years being unhappy and it also affects the kid's education.

Good luck and keep us posted albeit a while away and thanks for listening

wellyaidan

It's a really hard decision, best of luck to you whatever you decide. Atleast you came and tried it no matter what happens from here.

cricket1again

We're going back to england on the 5th June. I hate the heat here. It's lasted 7 months (we're on the Gold Coast) and it's only when we get a cool day that we realise how uncomfortable we feel most of the time.

Most of all though, I've never found a resting place here. I've been here 51/2 years and it's felt like being in transit. It just dawned on me today that I'm going home because I want a resting place, somewhere that definitely feels like home.
I never liked the cities or towns so i never lived in them so I won't notice if they've changed or not. I'm going back home to village life near a pretty market town and England's green.

mabozar

I hate to tell you but there aint no cheap holidays to Europe now. The euro has scuppered that.

That's why alot of people are doing long haul places or just staying in Britain.

People don't have that extra cash to throw around!

Carol

Bevm

Cheap is relative! Just having so much variety closer makes a huge difference.

Bev

tuppins

Hi Cricket!
Before we left we felt like our life was on hold and that it was all going to move forward here, instead, just as you said, we are in transit. OH is working in a job below him, that took 7months to get and we don't know how long that will last. I have a mundane job but it is OK to make some bucks before we get back HOME as we will hav to set ourselves up all over again.....
Hope it all works out foryou, i like your style, we miss the lush green English countryside too. We may head towards the Peaks, not sure yet.

Eastend Girl

I found the first two years here were like a holiday but I've never felt I belong here. I've been here 12 years now and because of family commitments I can't leave. I agree with Quoll, I know I'm so different (myself) when I'm at home and here I just seem to plod on with nothing much to look forward to apart from trips home.

Good luck - I think you're doing the right thing going home.