Paul Bradford

OK I have a question:

Ive been in the US for a bout a year and a half I got here in Jan07, I married a US citizen in Apr07. I had been back and forth for about 8 months prior to this visit. So we finally saved up enough money to actually start the application of my change of status last march, its now July and I just recieved a letter saying my application has been accepted and that I now need to file the I-485 which is going to set me back $1010 thats on top of the initial $450 to get the right to apply. Anyway the wife and I have a daughter together shes now 15mths old. And we are having difficulties within our marraige, shes starting fights (arguments not physical violence) and its over the smallest of things. She now tells me that she dosnt trust me and that Ill cheat on her, and she really has no basis of which thats come from only a past relationship from 15yrs ago. Anyway Im seriously getting upset with the arguing and the fights and Im not sure I want to remain in a relationship that Im perminently untrusted in....

BUT now Ive been in the US for this long, and I entered under the visa weiver scheme I fell that Im stuck here....

What options do I really have? I mean if I leave I risk being arrested (this is what Im being told) and I also am being told that should I leave Ill not be able to return, which when I have a daughter so young would be a nightmare if true. I do feel Im in a real predicament.

Any advice?

Rete

If you leave you won't be arrested. You will face a ban of 10 yeaers since you have been out of status for over a year.

You went about emigrating the wrong way. Shame you didn't find us and ask before sending in the I-130 alone. You should have sent the I-130 and the I-485 and all the accompanying documents all at the same time to the same place. You would have been a permanent resident by this time.

If you want and think you can manage to stick around until your I-485 is adjudicated you won't have to worry. You can work in the interim but not leave since you have the year overstay on your record. What about counciling for you and your wife. Sounds like she has a poor self imagine or that perhaps you are sending messages to her without realizing it that you are unhappy.

Paul Bradford

Thanks, Yeah Im getting the impression I did this all wrong. This is and this is where it all comes down to is money. Plus I wish I had found you guys coz Ive been talking to Immigration lawyers via email and they tell me different things. I mean can I even leave the state Im in? Right now Im in Az, and I was kinda hoping that a small holiday might help things rather than being stuck here all day and all night. Would I even be able to travel to say CA?

Thanks for such a speedy reply, Its good to know I have somewhere to turn to in these times of need. As for holding out til the paperwork is done, kinda sucks. I mean its cost me nearly $2000 only for me to go back home.... But I guess it will mean Ill see my little girl.

Oh and I think your right it is a self asteem problem and theres seems to be nothing I can do about it. I tell her I love her everyday. I get her small gifts when I can I show her all the love possible and I tell her how nice she looks. I just dont know what else I can do...

ian-mstm

You are *always* free to leave the US! Based on the information you have provided, you will not be arrested - banned, perhaps, but not arrested. If you have overstayed less than 180 days, there is no ban. If you have overstayed between 180 days and 365 days, you're facing a 3-year ban from the US if you leave. If the overstay is over 365 days, you're facing a 10-year ban from the US if you leave.

You have *two* separate and distinct issues... immigration and family... and, difficult though it might be, you need to completely separate one from the other.

I was going to write more, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized your situation is very complicated. You'll need *two* lawyers to sort this out... one for immigration, one for family court!

I don't believe this is a DIY project.

Ian

Manc

you can move states, just don't leave the USA until all this is resolved.

Rete

You can travel internally within the US. Flying should not be an issue as you won't be using customs/immigration if you travel within the borders of the US.

Would you be taking a trip with the family or alone? Alone might help you but won't help the situaton. If she is afraid you will be unfaithful now, going someplace alone will only mean, in her mind, that she was right.

Paul Bradford

I was told this, I don't know how true it is BUT I was told that if I was to fly out of Mexico, as its easy to cross into Mexico its coming back where they stop you. But if I left for England from there I could bypass that whole ban thing to the US. Is this just a theory?

Paul Bradford

Oh no it wouldnt be alone, the Holiday idea was to try and help the relationship. Get some R'n'R and be somewhere else.

fatbrit

Couple of points:

* If in AZ and in iffy status, avoid crossing into California via Yuma. I10 or further north is fine.

* You Mexico idea is more likely to end up in a permanent ban rather than a 10 year one. Forget it.

meauxna

Marriage counseling.

ian-mstm

The ban kicks in the moment you leave the US. It doesn't matter *how* you leave the US. And, if you're fortunate enough to not get caught on the way out, you most certainly will be caught on the way back in again. To quote a favorite movie line, "You don't have much [Stroud], and you keep subtracting!"

Ian

Just Jenney

I agree. If money is so tight, spend it on marriage counseling, not a week-long vacation or whatever. If your marriage falls apart before you even adjust status, then there won't be much basis to grant you permanent residency anyway. Focus on working things out -- it doesn't sound to me like your marriage is worth throwing away, especially when you have a child together. Everyone argues, even the happiest of couples. Going on holiday isn’t going to make the arguments go away, but counseling might.

Best of luck,

~ Jenney

Alix

Paul,

Has she (your wife) been like this only after the birth of your daughter? Is so she might be suffering from post baby depression. Seek professional help. AND don't leave US till you have sorted your visa status.

Best wishes,

Alix

Paul Bradford

Thanks for all the advice guys...

Things are better with the wife, I never wanted to throw it away which is why Im still here.

Anyway, Im speaking to the US Immigration people to tuesday to organise a doctors appointment for part of my paperwork, and then Im just hoping that it will all be sorted out soon.

I think the stress of all this plays part to the stresses at home...

Thanks again

Paul

Noorah101

Glad things are looking up for you. As for your medical, you don't need to speak to anyone about it. Just go ahead and book the medical with one of the USCIS civil surgeons listed at www.uscis.gov. Include the sealed results with your AOS paperwork.

Personally I would not call USCIS and draw attention to the fact that you've overstayed.

Rene