troutgirl

Hello I hope someone can help us. I am dreadfully concerned and very upset with the situation we are in you see, me my spouse and 2 children moved to the US last year to live permanently. This is our story. We have green cards which we got through my family, my brother who is a u.s. citizen. My whole family returned to the UK and surrendered our g.c. in the 80's except my brother who went on to become a citizen and i refiled an I130 through my brother and got a new greencard last year (and for my husband and children). He agreed to be our sponsor for the (aos) affidavit of support. We are sick with worry because my brother has problems, mostly suffering with manic depression ilness and has strong uncontrollable mood swings. My brother and me have always had a turbulant relationship but recently we have had a terrible argument and I am worried that he carry out his threat and retaliate by trying to remove his sponsorship and forcing us to leave the country. He knows this would hurt me beyond words.
Our kids are settled in school and we have good jobs and love living in America. We have been through so much to relocate our lives to the US and my brother seems to think that we are only here for him. Its like my brother makes me responsiblle for his happiness so if I try to have my own life he gets angry or gives me the silent treatment which leaves me feeling guilty. I love him but it is getting unbearable to tollerate. He divorced a year ago as his wife could not take anymore and now it is as though I have replaced her as his emotional support.
Its a very difficult situation but now I am deeply worried for my family that we will have to leave our home and the usa because he holds a hand over us as our sponsor. Anyone advise us what we cfan do? I feel emotionally blackmailed. Can he contact the INS and say he doesn't want to be our sponsor anymore and we will have to leave? Once we are citizens in 4 years will he stop being in charge of us?
Please advise and if you need more information please ask. we want to feel secure.
S x thankyou.

Sylvia Ottemoeller

"troutgirl" <member24142@british_expats.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...

    > Hello I hope someone can help us. I am dreadfully concerned and very
    > upset with the situation we are in you see, me my spouse and 2 children
    > moved to the US last year to live permanently. This is our story. We
    > have green cards which we got through my family, my brother who is a
    > u.s. citizen. My whole family returned to the UK and surrendered our
    > g.c. in the 80's except my brother who went on to become a citizen and i
    > refiled an I130 through my brother and got a new greencard last year
    > (and for my husband and children). He agreed to be our sponsor for the
    > (aos) affidavit of support. We are sick with worry because my brother
    > has problems, mostly suffering with manic depression ilness and has
    > strong uncontrollable mood swings. My brother and me have always had a
    > turbulant relationship but recently we have had a terrible argument and
    > I am worried that he carry out his threat and retaliate by trying to
    > remove his sponsorship and forcing us to leave the country. He knows
    > this would hurt me beyond words.
    > Our kids are settled in school and we
    > have good jobs and love living in America. We have been through so much
    > to relocate our lives to the US and my brother seems to think that we
    > are only here for him. Its like my brother makes me responsiblle for his
    > happiness so if I try to have my own life he gets angry or gives me the
    > silent treatment which leaves me feeling guilty. I love him but it is
    > getting unbearable to tollerate. He divorced a year ago as his wife
    > could not take anymore and now it is as though I have replaced her as
    > his emotional support.
    > Its a very difficult situation but now I am
    > deeply worried for my family that we will have to leave our home and the
    > usa because he holds a hand over us as our sponsor.

No, he does not have a hand over you, because your permanent resident status
was already granted, and there is no period of conditional status in your
immigration category. If he did not withdraw the affidavit *before* the
permanent resident status was granted, he in fact cannot withdraw it.

In fact, you have a hold over him. If you go on welfare, the U.S.
government can come after him for money, because he promised to support you
under the terms of the I-864.

Anyone advise us
    > what we cfan do? I feel emotionally blackmailed. Can he contact the INS
    > and say he doesn't want to be our sponsor anymore and we will have to
    > leave?

He can say anything he wants, but the USCIS cannot do anything about your
status based on such a statement.

Once we are citizens in 4 years will he stop being in charge of
    > us?

He is not in charge of you.

    > Please advise and if you need more information please ask. we want
    > to feel secure.

Be careful about him. He's not of sound mind, and if you withdraw from his
life, as you should if he is disrupting your family peace and harmony, he
could act out. You should call the local police immediately if he does
anything unlawful, even "disturbing the peace." Don't be softhearted
because he is your brother -- you are not skilled and equipped to handle a
person who is mentally ill and can't control his anger.

crg

Do you have your green card now with an F41 or F46 classification? It would either be a temp stamp, or a physical I-551 card? If you have the card then it your brother could get hit by a meteor and it still wouldn't change your status. He couldn't get your card revoked. It's not like a marriage based card where there is any conditional status.

Amanda

troutgirl

Since your GC is not going to be affected with Sylvia's explanation,
don't tell your brother about that. It will make him angry. If you
can, make sure he doesn't miss his medication. That will be good for
all of you.

Good luck.